Despite the fact that the former love of her life is currently facing life in prison, and an InStyle issue on how much she loves him hits stands next week, Anne Hathaway is all half-smiles at the Mexico City premiere of Super Agente 86 (aka Get Smart).
Spanish titles of American films always crack me up. I remember in high-school Spanish class we’d always laugh when our teacher told us about them. I seem to recall that the Spanish title of A Walk in the Clouds translated roughly to Put Out or Ship Out. Maybe I’m making that up. My all-time favorite is the Will Smith opus Yo, Robot.
The other thing I remember about high-school Spanish was that one of the vocabulary words in our book was the Spanish word for Abominable Snowman (”El Yeti”). I threw a fit. I was like “Seriously? This is what we’re learning about today? You can’t possibly think of anything more useful to occupy this particular space in our brains? This is very sad, people. A true scholastic tragedy.” I was not always especially well-liked by my high-school teachers. It was all that expressing of opinions that I did.
But then one day my Spanish teacher, Mr. Nunez, accidentally locked himself in his office, and it took the school the better part of the afternoon to get him out. And during the same afternoon one of the senior boys, Mike Klauss, was stuck in the principal’s office while they decided how to best discipline him for inviting the entirety of the freshman class to an thinly veiled sex-and-alcohol party. The fliers distributed to the freshman class called it a “Freshman/Senior Mixer.” The fliers distributed to the senior class called it “Meet the Fresh Meat.” Anyway my boyfriend at the time decided to plaster the walls of the school with signs he’d printed out in the computer lab that said “FREE NUNEZ/KLAUSS ‘98!!!” and it was pretty much the funniest thing ever.
What was the point of this story?
Oh, right. So after that Mr. Nunez couldn’t really get upset with any of us for anything. If he started to lecture us about our behavior, we were just like, “Hey, Senor Nunez, remember that time you locked yourself in your office and you were stuck there for like four hours?” and that would shut him up real quick. I loved Senor Nunez.
And Mike Klauss got suspended for two days and later ended up having sex with several freshmen girls anyway.
And, while we’re at it, is that a fucking capelet, Anne?
After spending the better part of the day shooting down rumors that she and Ben are divorcing (which we didn’t report here because they were bullshit), Jennifer Garner takes her adorable kiddo, Violet, and her wedding ring out shopping in Brentwood.
I have to admit I like Anne Hathaway a LOT more now that there’s actually some drama surrounding her. As you’ll recall, Anne spent awhile in a serious relationship with Raffaello Follieri, who was arrested yesterday for some really shady investment shit. The two had recently broken up.
But they didn’t break up recently enough, it seems. The issue of InStyle, which hits newsstands next month, has Anne gushing about her relationship with Raffaello.
“I enjoy living with him so much, but we’re in his apartment - and we’ve decided that it’s time to find where our home is going to be,” she said. “If we get a house as opposed to an apartment, the first two floors will be a bit more traditional for him to be able to receive people, and the top two floors will be whatever I want.” She adds that there’s no pressure about marriage because, “we’re quite happy . . . I’m [not] sweating out a proposal.”
My, how things can change.
Anne’s friends say that “she’s heartbroken. She was really in love with him.”
Yeah, that’s right, Mini-Me has a sex tape. It was reportedly stolen from his apartment, which he used to share with a live-in girlfriend. The two have since broken up. (And, no, the girlfriend isn’t a Little Person.)
TMZ has a brief (okay for work) clip of the action here.
SugarDVD has reportedly offered $100K for the video. Shit, it’s worth way more than that. Little Person sex???? I would pay so much to watch that. Do Little People have normal-sized penises? Or is he dealing with a pinky-sized member?
Brooke Hogan — who is rapidly transitioning from a celebrity I detest to a celebrity I adore — did a photo shoot for Maxim recently. Despite all the recent drama, her dad was on-hand to watch (weird, right?) but this video of the shoot is pretty endearing. At one point Brooke actually does a back walkover on the beach, which I found quite impressive. I could do those when I was like 10, but became pretty much incapable of anything involving flexibility once I hit puberty. It’s really such a tragedy that flexibility is wasted on the young. We need it much more after we hit puberty.
JOHN Mayer might have broken Minka Kelly’s heart when he left her for Jennifer Aniston - but he had the decency to call her before the news about them hit the press. A Kelly pal said, “Minka [above] received a call from John prior to the story breaking about his relationship with Jennifer. He apologized to Minka, ‘Sorry, but I’m really in love.’ ” She found that interesting as, “during his relationship with her, John mentioned, ‘I don’t really get this Jennifer Aniston thing.’ ” Mayer’s rep declined to comment.
Well, I’ll tell ya, John Mayer’s getting plenty of Jennifer Aniston’s thing these days.
Um, remember when Broadway was a haven of respecting thespian professionals and not a place for reality TV stars to chill out when they don’t become the next pop phenomenon?
Now, I’m not saying Aubrey O’Day’s not qualified to play an annoying little brat, but seriously? Aubrey O’Day on Broadway? Next thing you know Britney Spears will be taking on the role of Lady MacBeth with the Royal Shakespeare Company.
Here’s Jessica Simpson performing her new country track, “Come On Over,” on The View.
Um, is that dress her idea of what you wear when you’re singing country? Because it’s my idea of what you wear when you’re in dress rehearsals for Little House on the Prairie.
I love PR folks, and I love it more when they want to give you guys cool free stuff.
In case you haven’t heard, the states of California and Washington are going “hands-free” on July 1. This means that you can be cited and fined if you’re holding your cell phone up to your ear while driving. In California, the fines can range up to nearly $200, and in Washington it’s around $125. Even if you don’t live in these states, cell phone use is the number-one cause of distracted-driving accidents, and California expects the new legislation to save 300 lives this year alone.
To help you prepare your vehicle for the upcoming legislation, EGO has a bunch of great hands-free car kits (check them all out here), and they’re giving away the EGO Cup to one of you awesome EB readers (all together now: “Thanks, EGO!”). It sits in your cupholder, plugs into your cigarette lighter, and connects to your cell phone via Bluetooth. You can just order it around with voice commands, so you don’t have to wear one of those silly headsets.
If you want to win the EGO cup, just shoot me an email (evilbeet@gmail.com) filling in the following sentence:
The celebrity with the biggest ego is ______________ because ___________________ .
Please make the subject line “Ego Giveaway.”
All responses must be received by noon PST on Thursday.
So basically everything on ICanHasCheezburger.com is the funniest thing ever. I ::heart:: that site. But when I came across this one I almost fell off the couch laughing. Had to share.
