“I am going to go to court to get a legal conservatorship to get Lindsay into rehab and finally get her off all the prescription meds. [Wife] Dinais going to sit down with me and the lawyers and make things right for Lindsay. She is taking Adderol, Xanax, Paxil. She’s a beautiful girl but she looks 100 years old.”
Michael Lohan– we should really start a “Guess Who Said It?” feature here at EB. Even if I deleted the names, would there have been any question who said this? – continuing to protect his daughter’s privacy by telling Entertainment Tonight that his daughter looks like a centenarian.
When Kiefer Sutherland isn’t busy adding to his rap sheet and punching out clothing designers all in the name of Brooke Shields’ honor, do you know what he does with his time? Really? You really don’t know? It should be clear — he’s drinking! Let’s face facts: Kiefer has a problem. Addiction sucks and I hope he gets on the right track before he kills himself or an innocent.
I love TMZ if only for the fact that they find the most low-down dirt on people, and this piece is no different. Last week Kief and some fellow 24 crew and cast mates decided to hit a local bar after finishing a location shoot. And this is one of the many reasons that I envy Californians — their bars are open at 7 a.m. which is about the time that Kief and his posse arrived. They drank lots of scotch (no food involved) until about one in the afternoon which resulted in a $500 tab. That’s like, a hundred bucks an hour (or, you know, Lindsay Lohan’s asking price) in booze!
There are a couple of positive elements to this story. One — Sutherland tipped $200 of which I’m sure the bartender earned every penny and two — the actor utilized a driver. Yay for that!
GSN has already cornered the market on documenting the events of Carnie Wilson’s ass and now Kirstie Alley has a show of her own.
She’s going to be in a ten-episode series on A&E that will document her weight loss journey. The last time I heard from Ellie Mae Clampett Kirstie (springtime), she was on Oprah — you know what a fan I am of Big O — and she said that she had a secret plan for weight loss. A plan that she wasn’t willing to reveal, but one that would be effective. Apparently, Alley’s plan hasn’t been working out and the Thetans have been unable to assist her efforts, so we are all going to be privy to Kirstie on a treadmill. Joy.
Why can’t Kirstie shut the hell up about her weight, go get bi-sected and credit it to Pilates the way God intended?
The last time I wrote about Sean Penn, his agent sent me a little email and it wasn’t to congratulate me on my wit. Well, I’m back with more Sean Penn news and I wish it was more favorable, yet I’m relieved that I’m not reporting that Sean and Robin Wright are back together again.
Penn’s son, the commode formerly known as Hopper was arrested at his Malibu high school last week. He’s a minor, just 16 years old, so authorities aren’t releasing any details on the charges. Therefore, we can only speculate on where the lad went wrong. I was thinking that maybe he was bagged for painting graffiti on the walls or you know, trying to steal a car. I’m sure it wasn’t um, *sniff* substance-related.
Stay tuned; it’s only a matter of time before the principal an unnamed source comes forth with the real story.
Hey, guys! Here’s Chris Brown’s album cover for his comeback effort, “Graffiti.” I must say, I’m not surprised to see the singer attempting to spray paint into the eyes of innocent animations. Are we excited that Chris is back in business? Do we care?
Jon is on his apology tour and now Kate was all apologetic on last night’s TLC special, Kate: Her Story. Since they can’t film the kids anymore, we are treated to 42 minutes of Kate Gosselin’s thoughts and insight every single Monday night.
Kate admits to being too hard on Jon, but immediately negates her admission by stating that she had to handle everything. You know what I think? I think she took control over everything in their lives because it gave her the power to boss Jon around and then blame him when everything went to hell. They both just wear me out so much, y’all. (I’d also like to take this opportunity to apologize for my recent overuse of “y’all.” I’m not from the south and I’m not Britney Spears. I have no good excuse.)
This is a whole lotta mea culpas goin’ on. Could there be a reunion of these two? Jon & Kate Decorate: For The Holidays, That is.
Sorry I’m running so late today, guys. Unfortunately every story I tried to write started out something like: “Kate Winslet won a libel — Oh, my God I have to go to an allergist today and I’m afraid of needles and I’m pretty that I CAN DIE from being stuck sixty times in a row and if I DIE no one will know what’s going on in Hollywood until Beet wakes up — whew, okay, now where was I?” So, thanks for being patient with me today whilst I went through my mini-meltdown, and if any of you have any tips on how to survive the rest of my life without bacon, please email me. Because I’m allergic. That’s right — pork allergy — and if you don’t think I’ve already thought of all the dirty jokes surrounding that, you’d be wrong. If you need an address to send sympathy cards (and gifts!) just drop me a line. Clearly, this is karmic payback for making fun of Jeremy Piven.
In the meantime, Kate Winslet did in fact win $40,000 in a libel lawsuit that she filed against Daily Mail for an article they wrote earlier this year titled “Should Kate Winslet Win an Oscar for the World’s Most Irritating Actress?” Specifically, Winslet took issue with DM’s take on her exercise regimen: “I am delighted that the Mail have apologized for making false allegations about me. I was particularly upset to be accused of lying about my exercise regime, and felt that I had a responsibility to request an apology in order to demonstrate my commitment to the views that I have always expressed about body issues, including diet and exercise.” Well, fuck. If that statement doesn’t make confirm the allegations of being irritating, I don’t know what does.
