At least as far as this weekend’s movie releases go.  It was close though.  Carrey’s Yes Man opened up to a sad $18.2M closely followed by Smith’s Seven Pounds at $16M.  The Tales of Despereaux, sadly the only movie I have interest in seeing, came in third with The Day the Earth Stood Still and sigh Four Christmases rounding out the top five.

The horrible weather on the east coast (speaking of which, my electricity has gone out about six times since I started this post) definitely contributed to the  44% decrease from last year’s numbers this same weekend.  And I’m not totally sure, but I think it just might be snowing in Seattle too.  I could be wrong about that…does anyone know?

Michael Jackson is being sued in regards to a little boy.  Which isn’t unusual but thankfully, this suit doesn’t involve genitals.  The woman who claims to be the surrogate mother that gave birth to Jackson’s son Prince Michael Jackson II or you know, Blanket, wants joint custody of him in the form of weekend visits and a voice in decision-making regarding his education.  She’s also looking for some financial assistance.  One.  Billion.  Dollars.  Which, let’s just ignore that obscene dollar request for a minute.  Michael’s history of sex abuse allegations didn’t give this rent-a-uterus pause but the recession has brought her out of the woodwork?  Like, now she can’t pay her rent so she wants to be an involved and paid parent?

Sigh.  Back to the dollar amount.  I realize no one reads the papers anymore but isn’t it common knowledge that Michael Jackson is broke?  He couldn’t hold on to Neverland Ranch.  So asking for a billion dollars is astonishing; two million is a stretch.

But the best part of this whole mess is the suing surrogate’s name.  Billie Jean Jackson.  No, I’m not kidding.

Amy Winehouse.  Topless here.  You’re very, very welcome.  And I think this goes without saying but just in case you’ve hit the nog a little too hard this season,  NSFW.

Oh, and funniest quote ever from the accompanying News of the World article:  “Amy just whipped off her top and dived in to the sea without a care in the world. She was looking a better than she has for a while. A bit of sun is just what she needs.”  Yeah, a tan.  That’s what she needs.  Why didn’t I think of that?  

Can we think of some things to add to the list of Just What Amy Winehouse needs?  I’ll start:  1)  teeth.

I’m well aware of the fact that I am the only person in the world that isn’t impressed by Gwen Stefani.  Not her fashion, face or vocals.  What else is new?  I’m used to having an unpopular opinion.  It feels natural at this point in my life.  Please.  Don’t one person say that they think Gwen is a mediocre singer who dresses funny and needs to abandon the geisha makeup racket she’s had going on for the past decade plus.  I can’t handle that kind of anarchy.

So this picture comes across my computer and what is the first thing my eyes and mind fixate on?  The fabric of that coat will be ruined because of the idiot that put an inventory sensor on it.  Those tags destroy shit.  Just ask Winona Ryder.

Gwen with a tufted trench coat that I actually don’t hate.

I haven’t heard too much about Criss Angel and Holly Madison lately and I must admit, I was enjoying the respite.  They were everywhere and then nowhere.  By the sounds of it, they’ve been locked in a hotel room. 

People asked Criss and Holly what they wanted for the holidays and their birthdays (December 19th and 23rd, respectively) this year.

Criss said “I don’t want anything for Christmas.  I just want Holly, love, health and happiness, and I have all of those things.  I’m hoping Holly will just put a bow in her head and that will be my present.”   Man, she got off cheap.

Holly, turning to Criss, replied “I just want you.  I’m in love and I’m so happy.”   Looks like they got each other the same thing.

Romantic, huh?

Hi guys! Beet here! We’re taking a brief break from celeb gossip for me to talk about SNOW.

You basically never see pics or video of Leo on here any more, because I save those for my personal blog, Sasha Is a Monster. But I just had to post a link here because we are having a CA-RAZY snowstorm here in the Northwest today, and I’ve posted a ton of pics and video and me and Leo playing in the snow on Sasha Is a Monster. I know that this is not exciting to people who live in snowy climates, but it is EXCEPTIONALLY exciting to me, having grown up in Arizona and SoCal, and so I know plenty of you will find it exciting, too. If you’re in a warmer climate and want to check out some CHRISTMAS SNOW, there are pics and video here and here. ENJOY!

Page Six has identified male model Jesus Luz as Madonna’s newest conquest.  Don’t you appreciate that I didn’t call him “boy toy”?  Because seriously, almost every article I’ve read about this hook-up calls him that.  I won’t call her “Material Girl” either.  They met while doing a W magazine photo shoot.  A source said “Everyone knows they are ficando- which is a Portuguese expression that means they are kissing and doing other things but without any obligation of being faithful or getting into a relationship afterwards.”  I never knew this job would require so much Portuguese translating but the English word for “ficando” is “fucking”.  I wonder how A-Rod feels about this.

In other news, as Madonna continued the interminable Sticky & Sweet tour in Sao Paolo, she supposedly started crying  when many of her fans sang Evita songs to her.  She probably didn’t emote that much writing out a $80M check to Guy.  But masses of people singing their adoration for her to her?  Floods of soy-based tears.