The network and producing studio issued a statement Monday saying they won’t be sending out DVDs of the highly anticipated show before its September 2 premiere.
“The CW and our studio partner CBS Paramount Network Television have made the strategic marketing decision not to screen ‘90210′ for any media in advance of its premiere,” the statement said. “We’re not hiding anything — simply keeping a lid on ‘90210′ until 9.02, riding the curiosity and anticipation into premiere night and letting all our constituents see it at the same time.”
Yeah. They’re not hiding anything. Except for that it sucks. Like, sucks sooooo bad.
You just can’t stay out of trouble these days, can you?
Lily was stumbling between London clubs at 1:30 in the morning when a random fan started talking shit to her. The obvious response? Lily punched her three times. The paps say she landed all three punches solidly. And she would have kept going, except her friends pulled her away and put her in the car.
Rock on, Lily.
This is kind of what I’d like to do to Microsoft right now. I just had my FOURTH core dump of the night as I was downloading these photos of Lily. Folks, please let me serve as a warning to you: DON’T BUY ANYTHING WITH VISTA INSTALLED ON IT. And this is AFTER THE SERVICE PACK they released in the spring. I remember we had to write our own operating systems in my OS class in college, when I studied computer science. I drank a lot back in those college days, and I’m pretty sure I was loaded while I was coding most of that project. Just sitting at my Unix terminal for hours and hours with nothing but rum and Coke and CS books. Nonetheless, when I was done, I had created an operating system that NEVER, EVER HAD A CORE DUMP. I did it all by myself. DRUNK. Before I was even old enough to legally drink. It is not that hard.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MICROSOFT???
I’m buying a Mac first thing tomorrow. You finally lost me, Mr. Gates.
I suppose the biggest question is really why this took so damn long.
Dita Von Teese has teamed up with Wonderbra to create a line of lingerie inspired by looks from the ’40s and ’50s.
“I love it when you can go about your daily business with the knowledge that you have a little secret of your own on underneath,” she says. “Lingerie shouldn’t be something you just put on for your lover; you should do it for you. It’s not about seducing men, it’s about embracing womanhood.”
I actually think this is awesome and I’m excited to buy it. In fact, I think this is the first time in my life I have been excited to buy something from a clothing line made by a celebrity. And it’ll be all about embracing my womanhood, since I have no one to seduce.
Meanwhile, it took me like 30 minutes to write this stupid post because my new laptop just decided to shut down because, ya know, it felt like it.
I am going to the Apple store tomorrow morning. I’m so done with this shit.
I have to kill both Amanda Beard and model Lily Donaldson, both of whom Michael Phelps is rumored to be dating, but before I do that, I have to kill anyone involved in the creation of Windows Vista and the decision to install it on any fucking new laptop. From what I can tell, Windows Vista is in no way better than XP, it’s just very different and therefore impossible to navigate when you’re used to using XP. Oh, and it’s crashed twice already. Like, full-on core dump. While I was trying to do complicated things. Like connect to the Internet. Incredible. How long did Microsoft take to release this crapfest? Hopefully Bill Gates is doing a little better providing health care to children in third-world countries. Because if his track record over there is anything like fucking Vista, those kids are going to have bizarre mutations any day now. Like, the third eye won’t just be a figurative reference in rural India.
Seriously, what was wrong with XP? I hate you, Microsoft. I swore I’d never be a Mac user, but, for the first time in my life, I’m seriously considering it. I mean, if I’m gonna have to learn a new fucking OS from scratch anyway …
So anyway. Yeah. Phelps has been linked to both Amanda and Lily, both of whom I will kill so that he can be mine, all mine. But only after I get through with the folks at Microsoft.
Uma Thurman puffs on a cancer stick while on vacation with fiance Arpad Busson.
And I am certainly in NO POSITION to judge anyone else for smoking … but I’m nearly at a month smoke-free! Not a SINGLE cigarette! Boo-yah, motherfuckers!!!
Woo hoo for Christina Applegate, who announced at a taping of Good Morning America today that, just a month after being diagnosed with breast cancer, she is free of the disease.
“I’m clear,” she said. “Absolutely 100 percent clear and clean. … They got everything out so I’m definitely not going to die from breast cancer.”
Christina’s battle seems easy, but it’s in large part due to the fact that she got checked early and regularly for signs of cancer, knowing that she was at risk.
GET YOUR TITTIES CHECKED, LADIES!!! This is something you DO want to know!
Please note that Natalie is 24 years old and Taylor is 25.
This kind of shit never ceases to amaze me. What kind of 24-year-old wants four children? I’m 26 and I have four small animals, and even that’s a little overwhelming. Plus none of them grew in my stomach and I still feel like I kind of need a tummy tuck because my tummy looks less like the tummy of a 20-year-old and more like the tummy of a 26-year-old, and I find that to be horribly depressing. And her vagina must be like a damn salad bowl already. Why, why, why? You have your whole lives to pop out kids! Why do you need 8000 of them right now?
While Brad and Angelina are charging $8 gazillion for like five photos of their children, Katie Holmes has Suri wandering around New York all day every day posing for anybody with a camera.
Like, I understand the photos of them outside; it’s unreasonable to expect Katie to keep Suri locked up in a tower all day. But what’s with the 8000 photos of Suri inside a clothing store? Can’t they keep the paparazzi out? Why is she letting them get all these photos of her little girl?
This is the conversation that New Kid on the Block Donnie Wahlberg and his wife, Kim Fey, have been having every day for the past year.
WIFE: Let me get this straight. Just so we’re clear. What you’re going to do is spend the next two years traveling the country in a humiliating effort to revive a career that died definitively twenty years ago?
DONNIE: Yes.
WIFE: And you are aware that we have two children at home? That I will have to raise alone while you are fucking a 38-year-old former groupie in a hotel shower in Tulsa? You know this?
DONNIE: Yup.
WIFE: Does none of this strike you as especially pathetic?
DONNIE: Nope!
It’s like, if you sat down to write the worst song ever, you probably couldn’t come up with anything even remotely as bad as this.
Heidi’s put out some pretty sub-par material in her quest for success on the charts, but this is a new low. It gives you a whole new appreciation for the brilliant material we see from the likes of Ali Lohan and Ashlee Simpson. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard a worse song in my life. And I’m counting, like, the little ditties my five-year-old cousin makes up about her shoes and her dolls and her boogers. Those songs are better than this one. It’s an aptly named song, in that it makes you want to reach for a needle. Anything to block out the memory of this godawful song. Listen at your own risk.
Late last night, my beautiful beloved laptop made the inevitable transition from moribund to just plain dead when I accidentally spilled half a glass of water on it. I took it apart, dried it out, and put it back together, but it was still doing things like adjusting screen brightness while I was trying to type an email. In fact, the entire keyboard was basically useless. When I pressed buttons, it didn’t result in letters appearing on the screen. I tried explaining this to the guy at Dell Tech Support, and he was like, “Ma’am, please go online and type in the following web address so that I can take control of your computer and isolate the problem,” and I’m like, “What part of ‘the keyboard doesn’t work’ are you having trouble translating into Hindi?”
Its time had come. I put it to sleep, shed a tear, then headed to Best Buy to get a new one.
These things happen in threes, people. Please take good care of your laptops and make sure they know how much you love them. It could happen to you.
Anyway, I’m super excited now because my new laptop works super fast, the way my computers work before they have the 18,000 viruses on them acquired when your line of work insists that you download sex tapes every other week.
I’m going to take a little bit of time to try to get my software installed and then we’ll be back to the gossip. Thanks for your patience!
