No, it’s not Lindsay — she’s still sober, as best I can tell — it’s Mischa Barton’s kid sister, Hania, who went to rehab in February of this year.

MISCHA Barton’s younger sister, Hania, showed up at a Hollywood fashion show so wasted last weekend, designer Daniel Darhan told her she couldn’t walk the runway. Web site celebritybabylon.com also reports she was so “out of it” at the Troy Kingdom fashion show at club Area, she could “barely stand up. Her legs were like jelly. She was literally chewing on her lower lip.” When someone tried to snap a shot of her, Hania - who already has one trip to rehab under her belt - said, “No pictures, this [bleep] always ends up in the tabloids.” Her rep did not return calls.

Looks like Hania may have one or two more trips to Promises in her future. I’d do drugs, too, if my sister were Mischa Barton and I looked like this.

This item is going to make my head explode.

Ashley Olsen has a new, older man. The 21-year-old twin showed up to the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel Monday night with Tory Burch’s ex, Lance Armstrong, 36. Our bar spy said, “They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m.” Armstrong has been spending more time in town since he bought a home here. Another source said, “He tried to make Tory happy when they were dating by buying a place here, but she couldn’t deal with him not actually living in the same city, so they broke up.” Olsen’s rep didn’t return calls.

Forget Tory Burch! What the hell does Sheryl Crow think about about this???

This is just wrong.

Jennifer Lopez — who’s currently battling Christina Aguilera for the title of Worst-Kept Pregnancy Secret — won’t be pleased with designer Roberto Cavalli, responded with this when People magazine asked what types of clothes he designs for celebs:

“Well Jennifer Lopez, at this moment, she requests something very special because she is waiting for the baby. It is so complicated because every week she is getting bigger.”

Ooooooooooops!

Hey, Victoria, where are your cheeks?

I still can’t see them!

Can you just point them out to me? They’re not really, ya know, delineated. Maybe if you put something on them? Like bright pink powder. Real heavy. All over the entire side of your face. Maybe then I could figure out where your cheeks were.

Oh, that’s better. I can see them.

Okay, I’m going to start hunting for your lips now.

“One thing I do want to make clear is that she’s not a stage mom. People are so accusatory toward her and so judgmental of her, and it just drives me crazy because I know the real her.”

Lorilee Craker, the ghostwriter behind Lynne Spears’ forthcoming parenting book, on her experiences with Britney’s mom.

In Bryant Park on Tuesday.

Cool wedding gown, Carrie.

The remains of Mrs. Brad Pitt showed up at the International Women’s Media Foundation’s Courage in Journalism awards in Beverly Hills on Tuesday.

Angie, honey, I promise you can sufficiently appreciate the plight of the starving Africans without actually emulating their lifestyle.

Eat, dear.

We do not see enough of Meg Ryan.

How adorable is she?

I love love LOVE the long hair. She looks GREAT!

I remember in middle school someone told me that if you want to know if you should date a guy, you ask him if he’d rather date Drew Barrymore or Meg Ryan. If he says Meg Ryan, he’s a keeper. If he says Drew Barrymore, ditch him. Shows you how long ago my ass went to middle school. That was when Drew Barrymore was still all strung out and flashing Dave Letterman, and Meg Ryan hadn’t yet ran away from her husband and into Russell Crowe’s arms. But that always stuck with me. Good guys like Meg Ryan.

Anyway. She’s still so cute!

At the International Women’s Media Foundation Courage in Journalism awards.