Are you one of the 80 billion people who saw 300 last weekend when it was still a movie I had honestly never in my life even heard of? Yes? Well then perhaps you are interested in these pictures of Gerard Butler, featuring the outline of his penis. Even if you didn’t see the movie and have never ever heard of him (like me!), penises are still awesome (yay!). Go penises!
Just months after splitting from Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti (who quickly hopped into the sack with Kirsten Dunst, aspiring White House Drug Czar), the always adorable Drew Barrymore is officially dating director Spike Jonze, the ex-husband of Sofia Coppola. In a fabulous Hollywood twist, Drew’s BFF Cameron Diaz is reportedly hated by Sofia, who is rumored to have based the ditzy blonde Kelly character in Lost in Translation on Diaz (weird … I always just kind of assumed that was Britney Spears). Anyway, I adore Drew, and one of these romances is going to work out for her one day, I’m sure of it!
S-Jo is going to star in another Goddamn Woody Allen film??
Scarlett, honey, the guy married his adopted daughter. Worse for you, he lost his fastball where film is concerned about two decades ago. I get it, you wanted to work with the Wood-man when you were growing up, but vanity time is over now. You’ve got to start doing serious work.
Let’s see what the past two Wood projects got ya:
Match Point $23 million at the box office
Scoop $10 million at the box office.
No, box office is not the only barometer of quality so let’s look at all the awards of note these films won. Still waiting? Yeah, I thought so. Yeah, Match Point picked up some silly third rate hardware that no one has ever heard of.
Let me guess, this film will be a quirky romance style of deal, hopefully one where Wood gets to bed you so the audience can cringe in horror. Stop taking his calls. It’s the decent thing to do at this point.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have added yet another gorgeous child to their brood. Pham Quang Sang’s (first kid in the pic) adoption was made official today. Maddox and Angelina went to pick up the child who is now named Pax Thien Jolie.
I really feel like Angelina has a sixth sense about these children. Maddox is on his way to be such a cutie and Baby Z is gorgeous. I’m so excited for the new family photos.
I find it a bit weird that they have joked about “adopting enough kids for a soccer team” but if they have the money and the love it is amazing that these kids will have a loving home.
This is a little soft for your morning coffee break but I wanted to chime in and I don’t think Beet and T get up for another few hours (their hair a jumbled mess).
This song is by a band called Frente, all acoustic and gooey.
Just for the hell of it. Because once in awhile I just feel I have to save the music.
This is Something Corporate with “I Woke Up in a Car.” It’s a few years old, but it’s, like, the best song ever.
Halle Berry claims she’s never had plastic surgery. [Bossip]
Gold is the new rehab. [INO]
Solange Knowles tells her husband … eh … Lisa beat me to it. [A Socialite's Life]
Fantastic. As soon as we find a fashion designer who’s not gay, he turns out to be a rapist. [Warship]
Um, who is Julie Bowen and why is she talking about her body hair? [Celebslam]
I hate to admit it, but Donald Trump’s little boy Barron is probably the cutest child on the planet. [Monica Monroe]
Get this: Janice Dickinson is probably a lot older than the appearance of her face would imply. [Yeeeah!]
Eh. Jessica Simpson is not adopting a child anytime soon, I assure you. But since everyone is reporting this, here’s a link. [Mollygood]
Jennifer Hudson uses her MySpace blog to try to convince us that not everything you read in the gossip columns is true. Yeah, right. Like I’m supposed to believe that from a girl who tried to bail last-minute on the Soul Train awards! [SOW]
The Beckhams settle on an L.A. home: Meg Ryan’s. [Rumorficial]
Cameron Diaz will have to battle Lindsay Lohan if she wants to get to Jude Law. [BYLTH]
Ryan Seacrest: His Straightest Moments. [Gawker]
Reese Witherspoon jogs the blues away. [Drunken Stepfather]
Okay, the headline’s a rip-off of a Dave Barry title.
But still.
TMZ (a division of Time Warner), long the bane of Hollywood celebs, plans to launch TMZDC, where they will turn their lens and venom on the Washington political scene. While this may be horrible news for politicians, it’s probably in general a very good thing for politics, because, hey, if TMZ’s covering it, I just might follow the election this year.
Ooh, this gives me an idea! Maybe, in light of the upcoming presidential race, Evil Beet should launch its own political website, complete with my in-depth commentary on the goings-on of Washingtonians. We can call it Evil Beet: Whatever I Say Is True Probably Isn’t Because I Slipped Through the Cracks of the American Education System and Actually Never Took American History and the Only Thing I Know About Hanging Chads Is That This One Sig Ep Guy Could Down Half a Keg Hanging Upside Down from the Bar on My Sorority Sister’s Closet But Then It Broke and We Had to Have the RA Drive Him to the Hospital Because No One Else Could Walk Let Alone Pilot a Vehicle Also What’s a Senator?
Who’s in?
Angelina Jolie and Maddox arrived in Vietnam last week to finalize the adoption of the three-year-old boy she is adopting from the country. The formalities should be completed by this weekend, when Jolie will be able to take the little boy back to New Orleans to meet his daddy and two sisters. The boy, whose name has not been released, was brought to an orphanage as a baby after he was found abandoned at a Ho Chi Minh City hospital, and city officials were not able to locate his parents to have them sign off on the adoption.
The young boy reportedly enjoys soccer and gets along well with the other kids at the center. Angelina’s adopting the kid as a single parent, because Vietnamese law doesn’t allow unmarried couples to adopt children (but single parents? That’s a-okay! I figure this has something to do with human-trafficking prevention, but I don’t see how … anyone know?).
You know, I like to say mean things about Angelina because she totally stole Jennifer Aniston’s husband, but I have to admit that she’s probably a really good person. This is not to say that this country — and this world — is not already full of big-hearted people who adopt orphans from third-world countries to offer them a better life, but it’s cool that Angelina is setting such a high-profile example.
It’s not that we’re selling out to the man, per se, it’s more that we want our readers to have a shot at a free Will Ferrell-related stuff.
The good folks pushing Ferrell’s latest film, Blades of Glory, have implored us to give free stuff from the film to our audience, so IT IS CONTEST TIME, PEOPLE.
GRAND PRIZE (1 winner):
Blades of Glory t-shirt
Blades of Glory poster
Blades of Glory soundtrack CD
“Limited-edition” BoG cereal box (and I have been assured that there is real cereal in it)
RUNNER-UP (1 winner):
Blades of Glory poster
BoG cereal box (still limited edition)
So how do you win?
It’s easy: just complete the following sentence as you see fit. We’ll pick the entry we like best, and announce the winner at the end of the week. Leave your answer in the comments (please include your email address in your signature) or email us at evilbeet@gmail.com, subject line “Contest.”
THE SENTENCE: Now that Lindsay Lohan’s father is out of jail, ______________________.
More Blades of Glory goodness after the jump:
For those sad that Monday Morning Music was missing monday (I blame my job…working is so 1995) here is Wednesday Morning Funny. This is a favorite on the Logo Network (the network for the gays). It is NSFW….but way too funny for words.
At least everybody famous.
Mischa Barton ran outside to hurl at a SoHo bar, and — in a very exciting Page Six scoop — narrowly missed the shoes of Jamie-Lynn Sigler with her vomit. Where is a camera when you need one? I don’t CARE about pictures of Britney Spears leaving an AA meeting — I want to see the look on Meadow Soprano’s face as Marissa Cooper’s vomit splashes in her direction. Anyway, Mischa went back inside and continued drinking, because she’s not an addict. (In fairness, Us Weekly’s source reported the incident as: “At one point Mischa suddenly ran out the door and threw up outside. Jamie-Lynn ran outside after her, but it wasn’t a big deal. They were laughing.” BECAUSE IT IS FUNNY DAMMIT!!!)
Also, Fergie couldn’t board a Virgin Airlines flight to London because she was T-R-A-S-H-E-D. According to a source, “She was drunkenly ranting at staff but could barely string a sentence together. It was very embarrassing.” Her bandmates stayed on the flight, and Fergie eventually made it to Heathrow later that night, refusing to comment.
Sheesh. Regular attendance at AA meetings should be a damn union requirement in this industry.
