At a pre-Oscar celebration honoring director Nikita Mikhalkov.

“Sonically, I don’t know that we’re going down any path that’s crazy. I’m not trying to be cool, I’m not trying to be hip. I’m not trying to do anything other than sing stuff that I’m good at.”

Clay Aiken, whose new album is expected to be released in May.

And, like, I know what “sonically” means, but when I saw that word I just couldn’t shake the thought of Clay Aiken coming out to my car to take my order for a cherry slush and a Coney dog. I can’t stop laughing at that.

Isaac Hanson — the one that looks like a horse — and his wife are expecting their second child.

They already have a 10-month-old son!

Isaac’s 27 and his wife, Nicole, is 24.

Jesus Christ. I’m almost 26 (I got a medical report from a doctor today in which I was identified as being “25 and 11/12 years of age” and I was like “Holy shit, am I that close to 26?” and the truth is that, yes, yes I am, but they didn’t need to point it out like that, ya know?), and the overwhelming responsibility of juggling blogging with raising three small cats is practically crushing me. Maybe if I married a washed-up boy-bander I’d find the inner strength to raise two babies.

I wish them all the best of luck.

Natalie Cole — outspoken critic of Amy Winehouse — arrives at a fundraiser for the Women’s Cancer Research Fund wearing animals that I certainly hope were, before their deaths, used to test some manner of cancer treatment.

I know, I know, it’s great that Natalie Cole is showing up to support breast cancer research.

But, really, what else does Natalie Cole have to do these days?

She could have skipped that coat.

I mean, she looks good for being 105 years old, but did one of face lifts accidentally move her left eye a full inch above her right?

Has it always been like that?

I did some research, and the answer is a resounding no.

In this picture, from 1981, her left eye is decidedly lower than her right.

All that plastic surgery has actually resulted in her eyes switching positions on her face. Like, by entire inches.

Love it. Love it. Love it.

I mean, from a height perspective, it would just work better, doncha think?

Tom, Katie, Will and Jada all attended the very first annual Black Women in Hollywood luncheon on Thursday.

And while I’m all about recognizing the work of black women in Hollywood, I also think the surest way to make such an event not about black women in Hollywood is to have Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise there. I mean, I guess it means people like me are writing about it, but, in all honesty, I saw these pics of Tom & Katie and thought to myself, “Hm, I want to use these pictures. Now I just have to figure out a way to involve black people, too, or I’ll take shit for writing about a Black Women in Hollywood luncheon while running a photo of Tom Cruise.” But you know what? That’s what everyone is going to do.

Thoughts?

After spending nearly nine years on the series, total hottie Jessie L. Martin will be leaving Law & Order later this season. No word yet on how his character will make his exit.

Martin will be replaced by K-Ville star Anthony Anderson, who pulled some shifts on L&O’s sister series, SVU, when Mariska Hargitay was on maternity leave.

It appears Martin’s leaving the series to focus his energies on his film career — he’s signed on to play the starring role in the Marvin Gaye biopic, Sexual Healing, set to begin production in the spring.

It’s not that posing for soft porn under the guise of art isn’t a career, exactly, but it appears Miss Lindsay Lohan is looking to step it up a notch.

Lindsay’s signed on to co-star with Jack Black in Ye Olde Times, a comedy about two dueling Renaissance Faire troupes.

You read that right: Two. Dueling. Renaissance Faire. Troupes.

Are we coming up with film plots by playing mad libs these days, guys? Or just for the ones that are Lohan vehicles?