Listen, this Chris Brown and Rihanna deal is played out at this point.  There are only so many ways to say it:  Chris is a scum.  Rihanna needs to run.  End of story.  But…

Who are these PR people Chris hired to help salvage his reputation?  Because they need to be fired, yesterday.  The half-assed non-statment, the phallic jet-skiing poses, the reconciliation with Rihanna-any decent public relations firm would not be letting this shit happen.  The only element that gives me a small sigh of relief is that Brown was not seen partying this weekend; it was a look-alike.  Poor bastard, being a Chris Brown ringer.

Chris is not only working to win back his victim, he is also in Miami recording for his newest album which, I suspect, will have anorexic airplay.

If Chris Brown was some anonymous warehouse worker, is there any doubt he would be in jail right now?

Amy Winehouse finally left St. Lucia and returned to Britain so she could check out her new digs.  Whilst she’s been away, a new house in North London has been set up for her in a continued effort to get her in a better environment.  Neighbors are not pleased that there is a new beehive in town.  One neighbor, upon hearing the news of Amy’s arrival, was quoted saying, “House prices have fallen enough without Amy Winehouse taking up residence.”  The people in her new neighborhood will never be able to sell their homes.  Amy Winehouse is an epic liability.

Not only is Winehouse an impossible neighbor, she’s even a pain in the ass at 30,000 feet.  On the flight from St. Lucia back to London, she attacked a fellow passenger that she suspected was committing the unforgivable sin of  looking at her strangely.  I don’t know what that bastard was thinking, glancing in her direction like that.  Winehouse jumped on the dude and had to be pulled off of him.

In conclusion, St. Lucia doesn’t want Amy.  North London doesn’t want Amy.  Every major airline doesn’t want Amy.

My Fave. Z-lister. Evah, Ranae Shrider, attended the Mardi Gras party at the Playboy mansion, and posted a bunch of pics of Hef with his new girlfriends on her Facebook page. Man, the twins sure do look bored and stoned. And the third girl just looks like she’s been rode hard and put away wet.

I also included some pics of Ranae as a thank you. She’s always had a rockin’ bod, but her new face looks damn good! Thank GOD someone in LA found a decent plastic surgeon.

Let’s talk about Kanye West’s new girlfriend, Amber Rose, who accompanied Kanye for some shopping and lunch on Sunset today.

I can’t even tell you how jealous I am of this look.

I wish I could wander around LA in February wearing a see-through half-tank with no bra, faux denim hot pants and fuck-me heels. And don’t forget the cigarette!

What a radical departure from social norms, Amber! You’re so awesome. I wish I had the guts to show up at uber-expensive restaurants looking like I just finished my hooking gig at the trailer park. Looking respectable is so passe. You are totally the future of fashion … at the Bunny Ranch. Airforce Amy is going to take a break from blowing lines to call Kmart and see if they have those heels in stock. That’s the kind of trend-setter you are.

Holy shit!

Teri Hatcher looks like she ate at some point this year!!

She’s still quite slender, but I’m finally not afraid she’s going to snap in half. This is a much better look for her. She has curves and tone and definition. She looks like a woman and not a pre-pubescent boy. Whatever she’s doing, I hope she keeps at it.

At a benefit for the Lou Ruzo Center in Las Vegas.

At the Cesar Awards in Paris on Saturday.

This is VERY scary stuff! A former Miss North Dakota — and a Miss USA top-ten finalist — has been detained in Iran for almost a whole month after being arrested for buying wine, which is illegal in the Islamic Republic.

Roxana Saberi, 31, has not been heard from since her last call on Feb. 10, her father, Reza, told The Associated Press on Sunday.

“We haven’t heard anything,” he said. The family decided to go public, he said, “because we wanted to get some information.”

Officials in Iran have not publicly confirmed the arrest. A duty officer at the U.S. State Department said Sunday officials were looking into an AP request for information on the case.

Roxana was working in Iran as a journalist for NPR and was planning to write a book about the country. NPR said Iran revoked her press credentials more than a year ago but apparently let her report short news stories.

Our thoughts and prayers are with Roxana. Get home safe, girl!