Chris Brown has his day in court today. And he needs to actually appear. Unless a deal is struck. Whaaaat?
Yep, Brown’s attorney-Mark Geragos, has been in downtown LA this week meeting with the DA assigned to this case. The two have been meeting in hopes of coming to a compromise with the charges against Chris. How do you think this will go? He could be charged with a felony. That would mean jail if he was found guilty. He could plead guilty to a misdemeanor; he would take some classes, do some community service and be done. Or he could plead guilty to a felony, but if he stays out of trouble for a year, charges could be down-graded to a misdemeanor level.
I’m not going to freak my freak until we see what actually happens. Prosecutors do often pursue domestic violence cases even when the victim is unwilling to testify. The pictures of Rihanna should be evidence enough! But, if a deal is cut, what message does this send? Okay, okay, I’m keeping my cynicism at bay and hoping for the best.
A lot of these girls are iconic in and of themselves already, but Glamour dressed them up and posed them as female icons of long-ago (okay, okay, mostly the ’80s) for a new photo spread.
I’ve listed the names of the starlets and the icons they’re posing as after the jump, so that you can try to guess for yourself if you want.
You can get more info on each of these photos and the women being portrayed here at Glamour’s site.
Idol castoff Constantine Maroulis has a leading role in an upcoming Broadway musical called Rock of Ages, which begins previews March 17, and they let photographers into their rehearsals this week to start creating some buzz. You can learn more about the show here — it’s a love story set to the most famous rock songs of the ’80s — and reviews have been very positive so far. To be honest, it looks like a great show, but I just don’t think Constantine and his co-star, Amy Spanger, could possibly look any more douche-y in these pictures. It’s just a douche extravaganza. “Don’t Stop Douching.” “Here I Douche Again on My Own.” “Wanted: Douche or Alive.”
Here is a realization that I just had: Hollywood seems more capable of speaking out against Jeremy Piven’s recent actions than about Chris Brown’s.
I’ve heard a ton of celebrities go on the record to call Jeremy out for dropping out of his Broadway show due to “mercury poisoning,” but nobody seems to want to go on the record to call out Chris Brown on beating the shit out of his girlfriend. In fact, Usher just issued an apology for being videotaped saying that Chris Brown should “show some remorse.” What. The. Fuck?
Anyway, here’s Felicity Huffman chatting with David Letterman about how her husband, William H. Macy, had to come to Jeremy’s rescue after he dropped out of the play. She says that William used to babysit for Jeremy when he was a child, and, she says, “in some ways you could say he’s still babysitting him.” Then she rolls her eyes a lot as Letterman prods her further about Jeremy’s “mercury poisoning.” The conversation happens around the 2:40 mark.
We can all go on national television and give Jeremy Piven a hard time for quitting a play with a bullshit excuse, but no one wants to go on television and give Chris Brown a hard time for gross domestic violence.
Guess who else “wrote” a “book”? Why, Miley Cyrus. It’s autobiographical, and I bet you can’t guess what the title is. I mean, I have about 800 potentially awesome titles for the Miley autobiography running around in my head like a bunch of coked-up Jonas Brothers, but she decided to go with the totally dull Miley Cyrus: Miles to Go. Le sigh.
Miley talks about how the other kids were really mean to her before she was famous, and I’m so excited to bring you these little pearls of literary genius plunked down by her ghost-writer:
Three girls strutted up and stood towering over me. My stomach churned. I clutched my grilled-cheese sandwich like it was the hand of my best friend
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I wasn’t chicken. What could they do to me? I was surrounded by people. I stood up, still a foot shorter then they were, and said, ‘What’s your problem? What did I ever do to you?’
And my personal favorite, as she’s talking about beating out Taylor Momsen for the role of Hannah Montana, when she was like 12:
I didn’t dare forget the struggle. There was a reason for it. I brought that girl with me, and she reminds me to be compassionate,” she writes. “To not hold grudges. To be supportive. To be there for others when I know I’m needed.
Ohhhhhhhhh, the struggle!!!! IT IS CRUSHING ME.
There’s also some boring shit about Nick Jonas in there, if you care about that sort of thing.
A lot of haters thought that Taylor Swift would get forced out of the #1 spot on the Billboard charts this week by the soundtrack for the Jonas Brothers’ movie.
Tay-tay and Fearless hung on to the #1 spot for the 11th week, and the Jonas Brothers didn’t even land at #2 — they were a distant third, selling only 49,700 copies in the album’s debut week. That is a VERY SAD NUMBER. The #2 spot went to a metal band called Lamb of God with an album called Wrath. I’ve never even heard of them, but they solidly outsold the JoBros!
When people get in your face and say, ‘This will pass,’ you think: Are they crazy? I’m never gonna feel any better than I feel right this minute and nothing’s ever gonna make sense again. And I still have moments where I’m like, ‘Nothing’s ever gonna make sense again.’ … Blame, blame, blame. You know? And it’s a really easy thing to do, and I’m certainly guilty of it. [You have to] look at yourself and go: ‘What part of this do I need to own? Which part of this is my responsibility?’ And that’s the painful work that you have to go through to hopefully get some real-life knowledge out of it.”
