This is what appeared on CNN’s website earlier in the week.

Apparently they were kind enough to remove the quotes after receiving complaints, but they still haven’t gotten around to getting Portia De Rossi’s name correct.

[source]

Thanks Anna!

On the left: Vogue editrix, and the inspiration behind The Devil Wears Prada, Anna Wintour.

On the right: Greatest Olympic Athlete of Our Time … in bed … Michael Phelps.

I don’t know when or where this picture was taken, or how in God’s name these two came to be in the same room, let alone sitting directly next to each other, but we all need to start talking about it, pronto.

Go.

I was mistaken.

Here’s the video for Katharine McPhee’s cover of “I Know What Boys Like,” from the House Bunny soundtrack.

This is worse.

I mean, it just blows my mind how many exceptionally talented people are wandering around Hollywood waiting tables while videos and songs like this are getting produced by major studios. It looks like a freakin’ student film. And by “student” I mean “middle-schooler.” This is so, so awful.

Here’s Joe “Dead Eyes” Francis announcing that he’s suing the people who kept him in a Florida jail to the tune of $300M.

“I recently experienced an unbelievable miscarriage of justice that made a victim not just of me, but of all Americans who cherish their constitutional right to free expression … If this can happen to me, it can happen to you.”

This dude is so, so creepy. It’s like, if you’re one of those people struggling to grow spiritually, and you feel like you can’t quite grasp exactly what a soul is, watch Joe Francis in this video. And when you ask yourself, “What is it that seems to be missing with this guy?” just know that the answer is “a soul.”

Remember just a couple days ago when Roseanne Barr took to her blog to call Jon Voight a “frightened little girl in a pink ballet tutu,” among other things?

Well, Jon Voight is not going to sit back and take it.

He released a rebuttal today (shown above), accusing Roseanne of being “sick of mind” and suggesting that she is a “psychopathic liar.”

I can’t decide how I feel about this.

Was Voight’s response appropriate or should he not have responded to Roseanne’s comments at all?

Olympics Golden Boy and my future sex toy Michael Phelps has been harassed by every media outlet ever about his dating life, since everybody seems to want a piece of that size 14 penis these days, not to mention the gazillion dollars he’s got lined up in promotional deals at this point.

In general, though, Phelps is keeping mum about his dating life. He did, however, rule out Amanda Beard, who he’d been rumored to be boinking. “No, I’m not dating Amanda Beard,” he told Extra. “I’ll say that. I think she has a boyfriend.”

This is good news for Amanda Beard and for me, because it means that she doesn’t have to die and I don’t have to murder her. My schedule’s been hectic lately and I wasn’t sure how I was going to fit it in.

But he won’t talk at all about whether he’s seeing anyone right now. That just means the journalists are going to have to dig a little bit harder.

Awww, how sweet.

SNL funnyman Chris Kattan and his June bride, Sunshine Tutt, are separated.

“Separated for the moment. No plans for divorce at this time,” says his rep.

Word on the street is that there’s another woman involved. For which of them, I’m not certain.

Anyway, kids, I’m comin’ to you this time from my NEW MAC BOOK PRO!

Woot woot!

I’m still learning my way around this contraption, but it sure as hell is cool!!! It’s very intuitive and fun to use. You get the impression that they thought about stuff more comprehensively than the Microsoft/PC people did. However, it was WAY more expensive than the Dell, so hopefully it turns out to be worth it. So far, though, I really love it. At the same time, the Dell man is sitting on the couch next to me fixing my old Dell, so that at least I can salvage my files on it.

Sorry posting was slow this morning. Technical difficulties, per usual. Hopefully with my sexy new Mac we’ll be done with technical difficulties forever!

(PS: How the hell do you do a Page Up on one of these things??)

That’s what the parents of 16-year-old Blake Peebles, from North Carolina, finally decided to do.

Blake — who, yes, looks a lot like Sanjaya — wanted to drop out of high school so he could dedicate all his energy to pursuing a career as a competitive Guitar Hero player.

“We couldn’t take the complaining anymore,” says his mom. “He always told me that he thought school was a waste of time.”

Blake does have in-home tutors, but still.

Blake has done well in local tournaments, including one held at a Chick-fil-A that earned him 52 combo meals. By his account, he has lost only once since “Guitar Hero III” was released late last year. Some of that time was spent playing online, against players from all over the world.

Today, on Xbox 360, players use the system’s online component to compare scores with players all over the world. Blake, who goes by the online name “Dreminem,” figures that he has top-10 scores on 20 or so of songs on “Guitar Hero III.”

He guesses that he’s probably one of the top 15 or 20 players in the country.

Blake so far has won about $1,000 in prizes in the months since he began competing in “Guitar Hero.” His biggest challenge will come in mid-August, when father and son travel to California for the U.S. regionals of the World Cyber Games. Blake qualified to appear there after performing well online.

If Blakes wins the regional, it’s on to the national championship. The best “Guitar Hero III” players there will earn the right to represent the U.S. at the world tournament in Germany.

Blake is happy with his success. Mom and Dad are happy with his grades. Since he’s gone to the tutoring arrangement, she hasn’t once had to tell him to do his homework, because he does it on his own. They got plenty of grief from family and friends about their decision at first, but they’ve also watched Blake, who is shy and disliked school, become a happier person.

What do you guys think?

Good decision? Or not so much?

That’s what just ONE of the lawyers in Britney Spears’ custody battle cost.

$700 an hour!

And Stacy Phillips is claiming Britney hasn’t paid the $338,414.87 she’s owed for just a couple months of work. That number is after courtesy deductions and $75K she expects to receive next month. Britney’s camp is balking at the number, but Stacy says because she handled all the conservatorship stuff, her legal work was very complex and took up a lot of hours.

BUT $700 AN HOUR???! For a child custody case?

Jesus Christ, is she turning Sean and Jayden into solid gold? What the hell is ANYBODY doing for $700 an hour? That’s more than Tara Reid paid her plastic surgeon. Clearly I need to go to law school.

A Dutch filmmaker is beginning work on a film based on the disappearance (and presumed death) of Natalee Holloway in Aruba in 2005. It’ll be based on the book Vuurkoraal by a Dutch journalist. (Google Translate can’t seem to translate “Vuurkoraal” into English for me … can any of you do it?)

I assume the film will be in Dutch, although it would probably be a lot more profitable if they did it in English and marketed it here. This is the same country where people rushed out in hordes to see United 93, which totally fucking baffled me at the time and still does.

Anyway, casting call!

If the film gets made in English, who should play Natalie?

Does anyone else think she looks a little like Ania from Sunset Tan? See?

How freakin’ adorable are Brooke Shields and her kiddos?

Here’s Brooke with Grier and Rowan in Manhattan on Monday.

Such cutie pies!!!

“I think that maybe Lauren is tired of [being on the show], but we’re just beginning. We’re not even remotely sick of it.”

Heidi Montag, without even a hint of irony, tells Ryan Seacrest on his radio show.