Jeffrey Archuleta, the overzealous father of American Idol runner-up David Archuleta, was arrested back in January for solicitation of a prostitute. This story took awhile to become public, but as we’ve learned, this stuff always surfaces. Thank you, Internet.
Midvale, Utah police arrested Archuleta at a Reiki massage parlor and claim that he “received sexual gratification at the hands of the masseuse.” They actually walked in on him, uh, receiving services.
David’s father pled no contest. According to Archuleta’s attorney, his client is innocent but took the plea because he didn’t “want to deal with it.” That makes sense. Wouldn’t you just pay a fine rather than to proclaim innocence?
Archuleta’s lawyer also said, in the understatement of the century, ”He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He’s a good man and we hope this story won’t cause his family any embarrassment.” Now why should the Archuleta family be embarrassed? Just because the married, Mormon patriarch of the family got caught getting paid-for oral at an undercover whorehouse?
“Stop trying to get onto my twitter page whoever you are! Its become extremely creepy!!!” she said in a tweet. “Just trying to clear the air! And I’m tired of changing my password every other day!”
Ummmm, Lindsay, let me be the first to do what no other media outlet seems to have the balls to do: Call outright bullshit on this. Hackers don’t go into a Twitter account and write that “I love being alone. Feels safe coz I can only trust myself…ya, sad. But I’m cool with it :) that’s y I share it with others in films.” No, Lindsay. That is not what hackers do. That is what you do when you’re wasted. You and technology and alcohol have been on a collision course for years now. Remember the “be adequate” email? No, of course you don’t, because you were wasted when you wrote it. You saw it in your outbox the next day. Which is just what happened with these tweets — you woke up this morning, checked your Twitter account, wondered what the hell you were thinking, panicked, and blamed it on hackers. You are lying, Lindsay.
News hit the web yesterday that Billy Joel had bought a restaurant in Sag Harbor for his much-younger wife, ousted Top Chef host Katie Lee Joel. But either that story was false or that restaurant’s gonna have to be returned with a receipt, because today we learn that Billy and Katie are over.
“After nearly five years of marriage, Billy and Katie have decided to separate,” reps for the pair said in a joint statement. “This decision is the result of much thought and consideration. Billy and Katie remain caring friends, with admiration and respect for each other.”
Riiiight. They have so much respect for each other that Katie’s been boinking hottie Israeli chef Yigal Azrouel for the better part of a year. And sources inside Katie’s camp say Billy’s been no better: “It wasn’t like he was a monk when he was on tour.” They’ve both retained lawyers already, although apparently there was a pre-nup.
This is Billy Joel’s third marriage to disintegrate.
Luckily, his daughter Alexa Joel is just a few years younger than Katie. I’m sure she has a friend or two Billy can marry.
I’m sure you all caught last week’s video of Kate Gosselin denying water to Mady before a live, televised interview. But did you see the incredibly awkward interview that followed? The one where Kate practically bitch-slaps Alexis, who is busy murdering Joel (or is that Colin?), and then Mady says she likes her dad better than her mom and then announces that she hates the sextuplets? And the interviewer has absolutely no idea what to do with the whole mess, despite being a mother herself? No. Well, it’s above.
Why anyone would choose to put all these eight children in a live interview situation is a total mystery to me.
Not everyone can pull a Madonna or Angelina and just adopt half the continent, but a bunch of celebs are “chipping” in to help the people of Darfur at the World Series of Poker this year. (Did you see what I did there with the “chip” thing? Wasn’t that funny? I’m pleased with it.)
On July 2, Don Cheadle — who starred in 2004’s Hotel Rwanda — is once again hosting the third annual Ante Up for Africa No Limit Texas Hold-Em Tournament in association with the World Series of Poker. Proceeds from the event will go to charities that provide aid and assistance to the survivors of the crisis in Darfur, Sudan and support activism dedicated to resolving this crisis. In the past, Ante Up tournaments have raised more than $2 million for the cause.
Among those confirmed to participate are Matt Damon, Jason Alexander, Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, Montel Williams, Herschel Walker, Hank Azaria, Brad Garrett, Marlon Wayans, Sarah Silverman and Casey Affleck. My Lord. I really, really, really want to see the Charles Barkley/Sarah Silverman poker showdown. The jokes practically write themselves.
Anyway, if you’re interested in the cause, you can get more information from The Enough Project. The actual event will be broadcast live by Pokerlistings.
Hooray for celebs using their fame for a good cause.
