Photo by INFdaily.com

It’s the newest product in worry-free chimney maintenance. Just drop Lindsay Lohan feet-first down your chimney and she’s guaranteed to clean off unsightly ash and dangerous creosote.

Warning: Lindsay Lohan contains alcohol. Do not expose Lindsay Lohan to open flame. If placed in a high pressure environment, Lindsay Lohan might explode.

(Pics of Lilo “dining” at Zuma restaurant and hitting clubs in London on Friday night.

Photo by INFDaily.com

In a recent interview with Britain’s GQ magazine, Fox waxed poetic about past periods of wightloss and weight gain: 

“Really my only job is to look attractive. I was so angry about that, that I went in the opposite direction. I turned into a really butch bull dyke for, like, six months… Then I went in the other direction. From being a giant motorcycle-riding lesbian, I turned into a zombie. I lost, like, 30 pounds.”

Soooooooo……Can we un-famous her yet?

And yes, the tattoo on her shoulder reads “We will all laugh at guilded butterflies,” the alternative translation of which is “Brutal irony tattooed on an idiot’s shoulder.” Only she could dumb down Shakespeare.

For months, Colbert has been promoting a trip overseas to visit troops and shoot episodes of The Colbert Report on location in the Middle East, but claimed that national security regulations kept him from saying exactly when he would go or where he would be filming. Well, the countdown clock that once read “? Days” till the Persian Gulf can now be set to zero.

US comedian Stephen Colbert has arrived in Iraq for a week to record special editions of his popular television show “The Colbert Report,” the US army confirmed on Saturday.

Colbert’s trip is dubbed “Operation Iraqi Stephen: Going Commando” in reference to the Operation Iraqi Freedom codename given to the 2003 US-led invasion of the country.

“The USO counts this as military service, right?” Colbert said in a statement on the Comedy Central website. “I might want to run for office some day.”

The week of shows will supposedly feature a guest appearance by Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, who spilled the beans about her “surprise” appearance last week on her Twitter. Colbert has several interviews scheduled with important political and military officials, including General Ray Odierno and the Deputy Prime Minister of Iraq, Barham Saleh. Here’s hoping they’ll be as amusingly uncomfortable as we’ve come to expect from the fake political pundit.

Proceeds from the iTunes sales of these special episodes of The Colbert Report will benefit the USO.

Earlier this week, a lawsuit was filed against Universal Studios and comedian Sacha Baron Cohen by California resident Richelle Olson. Olson claims that while Baron was shooting for his new film Bruno at a charity bingo event in 2007, she was pushed by the hirsuit comedian, “fell and was surrounded by cameramen who attacked her. Later, she says she fainted, hit her head causing bleeding to her brain, and must now use a wheelchair.”

But I suspect her brain damage may have occurred before she ever came into contact with Austria’s favorite fictional gay son. Unfortunately for Olsen, because Cohen was obviously filming a movie, there is substantial footage of her full encounter with Cohen that “clearly shows that Ms. Olson was never touched or in any way assaulted by Sacha Baron Cohen or any member of the production and suffered no injury.”

Universal called the lawsuit “frivolous” and “baseless” and has said they expect to be fully vinidicated.

If the fallout from Borat is any indication, I’m guessing this is only the first of many frivolous lawsuits from humorless people who weren’t really hurt by Cohen, but are just pissed off because he made them look foolish and caught it all on tape.

In a possibly ironic twist of fate, one of late actor David Carradine’s final films centered around suicide.

In My Suicide, the late actor plays a wise old man described as “the poet of death,” who counsels a high schooler (Gabriel Sunday) who’s contemplating killing himself.

One scene features Carradine delivering a lengthy monologue, trying to explain to the teen boy that he should “kill” off the parts of himself he doesn’t like rather than committing suicide.

A producer of the film is nonprofit Regenerate Films, which is dedicated to preventing teen suicide.

The film won Best Picture at the Berlin Film Festival as well as Best Picture and Best Actor (for Sunday) at the Gen art festival in NYC. A release date for the film has not yet been set.

Details around Carradine’s death remain sketchy. The actor was found naked in a closet in a Bangkok hotel with a rope tied around his neck, wrists, and genitals. His family have asked the FBI to investigate whether or not the actor’s death was a suicide, but many continue to speculate that he died while performing an act of auto erotic asphyxiation.

According to papers filed by his ex-wife during 2003 divorce proceedings, Carradine had a history of indulging in “potentially deadly” kinky sex acts. She also claims that he would grope her and encourage her to flash strangers in public, and carried on a long term incestuous relationship with a “very close relative”.

File this right up there with “Walking in on Your Parents Having Sex” under “More Things You Wish You Didn’t Know.”

John Mayer once again took to Twitter to talk about a very broad, very important (to him) topic: things he doesn’t know anything about.

Twittered Mayer, “I’ve never seen Twilight. It seems as if there are 90 lead actors I don’t know in this film? Tug Tillis, Boan Joaner, Jared Vorak.”
Who the hell is Boan Joaner? I think Tug Tillis was a major league baseball pitcher in the 70’s?

Mayer had better watch out. In case he doesn’t know, the internet is basically run by Stephenie Meyer and her hordes of devotees, who will enact swift and painful vengeance upon all who cross them, as 4channers discovered in the XKCD comic below:

Who knew Randy Jackson had a son! A son who looks just like him, no less!

Randy hit up the Lakers game last night with son Jordan Jackson.

So cute!