On August 3, my ever-vigilant mother sent me a link to a website she thought I’d find amusing, DontDateHimGirl.com. I did find it amusing, so much so that I blogged about it, reluctantly repeating names of some of the poor chaps who’d been blasted on the site. I hadn’t thought much about that particular post until today, when I received this email, from one of the young men whose name and public blasting I’d re-printed in part:

Dear Evilbeet!

Please help. In your August 3, 2006 blog you discussed the website www.dontdatehimgirl.com and used my profile as an example. Although what you wrote was certainly sympathetic to me, and I appreciate what you said, unfortunately your website is now my highest Google link!! I had a girl that I really liked “google” me and she found that godforsaken website that I’m on and read about me. Needless to say, I haven’t seen her since! If there is ANY WAY for you to alter a previous blog and remove me from that entry so that girls that “google” me in the future are not directed to that other website I would be very thankful!

Here is the text about me from your website:

[name removed], of [location removed], sleeps with lots of girls at the same time, and “felt it was okay to Jerk off in front of me on our 1st and 2nd date.” I doubt this guy was concerned much with your potential reaction on the first date, sweetie, but I assure you he’d determined it was 100% okay when you showed up for the second date.

Here at the Evil Beet, we believe firmly that one oughtn’t hate the player, but rather, the game. We were totally understanding of his crisis and removed any identifying info. Play on, brother.

Redux Beverages in Las Vegas debuted its new beverage at NYC Fashion Week this week: “Cocaine.”

The beverage, targeted at party-goers (really? why?), is supposedly 3.5x stronger than Red Bull (its inventor, Jamey Kirby, says it is “350 percent stronger,” because, you know, that sounds like more), and — get this — has a secret ingredient to imitate the mouth- and throat-numbing properties of actual cocaine.

Their website looks pretty low-budg, which is fine, because you don’t really need a complicated marketing strategy when you’ve named your product after the hippest life-destroying addictive illegal drug on the market. You know everyone at Hansens is slapping their foreheads this week. “Fuck, dude, what were we thinking? Monster? Shit.”

I think we’re seeing a resurgence in the marketing-by-controversy approach, between this and Survivor: Racist. I hold Ann Coulter single-handedly responsible.

Check it out on AllieIsWired.

• Eminem’s trying to work out the details of his divorce from Kim Mathers. Again.
• Scarlett Johansson loves being curvy, and she doesn’t want to change a thing about herself. Which is totally fine, but it would be nice if she could change the character she plays every once in awhile.
• Teri Hatcher has very expensive THO. According to the Desperate Housewives star, during the show’s first season, the producers spent thousands of dollars digitally erasing her nipples. For the love of Christ, will someone please run her picture this week? Next thing you know, she’ll be running to the press with some story about how she was sexually molested as a child. What’s that? Oh.
• “The One Where Joey Represents Himself in Divorce Proceedings with His Estranged Wife”

• Wait, what? Drugs might be involved in the death of Anna Nicole Smith’s son? Surely you jest.

A pretty funny video from X17, as the paparazzi follow LiLo around for the better part of a day. She eats at Il Fornaio with Harry Morton and a woman who is either a rookie personal assistant or a very entitled friend.

Before Lindsay leaves the restaurant, this mystery woman comes out and instructs the paparazzi that she “needs them to stay at least ten feet back.” The paparazzi chirp their agreement — “yes yes, no problem, of course, sure, you got it” — and, confident her natural genius for paparazzi negotiation has once again worked its subtle magic, she heads back inside the restaurant.

She emerges later with Lindsay, who is instantly clobbered by photogs.

Reports are trickling in that Howard Stern got a juicy confession out of Bam Margera on his radio program this morning. Bam says he did hook up with Employee of the Month star Jessica Simpson while she was still married to Nick Lachey.

I didn’t hear the show and I haven’t seen the transcript, but Jessica was technically married to Nick for nearly eight months after the two were separated, and during that time period, Nick’s many conquests were well-documented. So I’ll reserve judgment for now.

If you have more details about what Bam told Howard, tip us off!