You know those awkward days after a break-up, where you still have to see the guy every now and then to work out the details? Who’s keeping the dog? Where are my bikinis? You owe me $30 for that time I paid for the cab. Won’t you please reconsider? Please?

In the new media, EdTV life of Lindsay Lohan, these moments are captured on tape and broadcast to an international audience via the web.

Play along, won’t you?

TMZ has tape of Lindsay showing up at Harry’s West Hollywood office yesterday, a day after she got dumped by Morton at the Chateau Marmont.

We’d like to take a moment to thank our sponsors. This particular summer in Lindsay Lohan’s life has been made possible by the following:

• Pink Taco restaurants
• Rehab energy drink
• Chateau Marmont
• Hyde Lounge
• The island of Maui
• BlackBerry by RIM
• Cocaine

I love it when there’s a ton of cool stuff breaking on a Friday afternoon.

• Grey’s Anatomy kicks some CSI ass, while ANTM stays fierce on the CW.
• Die Hard 4: Live Free or Die Hard (uuuuugh) rounds out its cast with Justin Long and Maggie Q. The fourth installment of the Bruce Willis-as-Jack-Bauer series begins shooting in Baltimore this weekend.
• Is $1B a reasonable valuation for Facebook? Time Warner CEO Dick Parsons thinks not.
• Holy fucking shit. PerezHilton.com had 2 million unique visitors yesterday. This blog thing may take off after all.
• Nicky Hilton’s beau Kevin Connolly punches Brandon Davis in the face — twice! — at a party at Paris Hilton’s house. Why? Who cares? Way to go, E!
• Making an appearance at the same party was La Lohan, who I hear got her ass dumped by Harry Morton after dinner last night at Chateau Marmont. I’ve heard from several sources that she and Paris were playing nice at the party, with Paris even trying to convince Linds that the many reports of her talking shit about the broken-wristed starlet were false. My guess? Lindsay’d been trying to keep her nose clean (literally) to maintain a relationship with Harry Morton, who’s well known to be sober, but when that fell apart she went crawling back to her old cokey pals, Paris & Co, within hours.

• Katie Holmes may play the role of Victoria Beckham in an upcoming biopic about Posh’s hubby, U.K. soccer star David Beckham.
• A publicity-starved Steve-O urinates on the red carpet at the premiere of Jackass 2. Fair warning: if you click that link, you are going to see his penis.
• Steve-O’s penis is lovely treat, but I know what you all really crave is a peek at Rosie O’Donnell’s tits. Well, then, you should watch Nip/Tuck on October 3. Or, you know, avoid Nip/Tuck at all costs for the entire month of October, just in case.
• Britney’s “manny” leaves her for Jude Law. Maybe he’s planning to reunite with Sienna Miller for the fifty-eighth time. She was not such a big fan of the old nanny.
• Keith Richards showed up to film his part as Johnny Depp’s father in the third installment of the other national mint, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the Rolling Stones rocker was almost too drunk to get through the scene. Where is Courtney Love when you need her?
• If you own an energy drink called Rehab, and you would like people to take pictures of your product and write about it on the Internet, you do whatever it takes to get that can into the sweaty, shaky hands of Lindsay Lohan. But how to do that? It just seems to good to be true. It took me awhile to find much information on the product, since any google search for “lohan rehab” or “rehab beverages” provides a million hits I can’t use, but I finally tracked down their website. They’re a Las Vegas company, and it looks like they’re partnered with Pink Taco, a chain of Mexican restaurants owned by Harry Morton, Lohan’s boyfriend. Mystery solved.

Ah, blog backlash. As a mounting wave of celebrity vitriol prepares to crash upon the shores of the next generation of opinion makers — those who don’t have to run their words past an editor — a once-hot Jared Leto has grabbed his eyeliner and is writing mean things about us on bathroom mirrors. Says Leto:

I think that blogs should die a sudden death. It’s just ridiculous. It’s like a playground for four-year-olds. People say and do things in the world of blogs that they would never do in real life, and I think it’s a false experience…The blog is yesterday’s parachute pants. It’s here now but it’s gone tomorrow.

Here now but gone tomorrow? Maybe. But, with any luck, after a 10-year period of utter irrelevance and occasional Lohan-porking, blogs will start an unoriginal band and make an appearance on the VMAs looking like they just wrote a poem in Algebra class. We can hope, right?

[via BestWeekEver]

Ah ha ha ha ha!

I am so funny. Great title, Beet.

(I did not get much sleep last night.)

Oh sorry you guys don’t even know why it’s so funny yet.

Or unfunny. Okay then.

So Lou Diamond Phillips was charged with domestic battery today following his August 11 arrest for kicking his girlfriend’s ass. Or allegedly doing that. Not sure. I’m too tired to read the legalese.

It’s okay, dude. If I were in Hollywood Homicide, I’d be angry, too.

[Via TechCrunch]

WSJ reports that “people familiar with the matter” are saying that Facebook has been in acquisition discussions with Yahoo, Microsoft and Viacom over the last year, but Yahoo is looking like the front runner, with a price tag of $1B. That’s B like billion.

This is Web 2.0, baby, alive and kicking.

I remember a couple years ago reading an article about how Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook’s then-20-year-old founder, had been offered $100M for the site and wasn’t interested. He’d said something along the lines of “I’m just having too much fun with it.” I’d thought him a total moron. Who the hell walks away from $100M because they’re having too much fun? Have fun on your 18 yachts for the rest of your life, retard.

I’m done dispensing free business advice now.

Here are some amusing items from the article:

During one series of talks with Microsoft, Facebook executives told their Microsoft peers they couldn’t do an 8 a.m. conference call because the company’s 22-year-old founder and chief executive, Harvard dropout Mark Zuckerberg, wouldn’t be awake, says a person familiar with the talks. Microsoft executives were incredulous.

And another:

At one point in the Yahoo negotiations, the talks extended into the weekend, says a person familiar with the matter. Mr. Zuckerberg, this account continues, said he couldn’t take part because his girlfriend was in town. Others pointed out they were closing in on a billion-dollar deal. Mr. Zuckerberg said it didn’t matter: his cellphone would be off, this person says.

I’ll tell you, man, if the job of Mark Zuckerberg’s girlfriend becomes available in the near future, count me in.

And since I’ve now cruelly subjected you to more than 3 or 4 words about technology and business, here’s a palate cleanser:

Paris Hilton can’t remember how she knew who broke into Joe Francis’s house and forced the Girls Gone Wild producer to sodomize himself. It was two years ago. She’s “not like that smart.”

Also:

Nirvana’s Nevermind came out fifteen years ago. Yeah. You’re that old.