“I’ve spent a lot of time with Kim in Paris, And it’s been perfect. As soon as we landed, we went straight to the Eiffel Tower, drank champagne at the top and just kissed and kissed. Then we went up to my suite and had tantric sex for at least 30 hours, ordering up whipped cream and strawberries while we were at it. As meticulous as I am with my work, I’m more meticulous with lovemaking. I like to do it for a long time. A lot of guys out there get married, and they still do their own thing. I don’t want to get married and fail.”
30 hours of sex sounds kind of boring if you are asking me. I think I would start making grocery lists and counting sheep. I have no idea how this girl puts up with him. I would take the child support and run because I feel like he has a lot more baby mama drama in his future. This Eiffel Tower love story makes me almost as ill as when Tom Cruise proposed to Kate (remember when he re-named her, ya that didn’t stick) last summer.
This story is really too good to be true. Rumors are circulating that Aubrey O’Day from “Making the Band”:Danity Kane edition is knocked up with Diddy’s baby. I do believe that these two have knocked boots on more than one occasion but I hope that Aubrey is not Diddy’s fourth baby mama.
The scoop from an insider at Bad Boy says that Aubrey is with child.
“People here are always gossiping, so at first I didn’t listen to them. But I swear … now Aubrey is beginning to show. Everyone knows she had something going on with [Diddy]. It makes a lot of sense that he would be the father. I really hope Diddy didn’t [get her pregnant], because this could turn into a real mess … imagine if she sued for [sexual] harassment.”
Here is the P-Diddy baby count last time I checked.
Kim Porter-3 Misa Hylton-1 Sarah Chapman-1 Aubrey O’Day- ???
Aubrey has gained a bit of weight lately. Dude, she really looks like a tranny.
Here’s some news. I love this AP article so I’m going to quote and rip as I see fit (just so we’re all on the same page here).
SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (AP) — A Maryland man accused of stalking Michelle Branch was arrested at her concert in Sheboygan this week after she spotted him in the crowd.
Sheboygan is where some shit goes DOWN man! Did you know the Johnsonville World Bratwurst Eating Championship is held there? It’s true, you can look it up. So don’t just stroll into Sheboygan and think you won’t get stalked Michelle. Think again sister.
“Michelle Branch said, ‘Wait a second. There’s a guy in the audience — striped shirt and glasses — can somebody check him out?’” said Cali Haas, 20, of Sheboygan, who was in the crowd. “It left everyone just so confused, like, ‘Is this a joke, part of the show?’”
Cali Haas knows how Michelle Branch shows go. Some wacky and wild things transpire. When Michelle says “Hey, is that my stalker?” sometimes it’s just an intro to that one song she sings called “I would walk a 1000 miles (way more than the 500 that other band would walk).” Sometimes jokes happen too (at a Michie Branch concerto). Like one time Michelle feigned a heart attack. That CRACKED up the audience. That reminds me, I need to go to ticketmaster and see if all of her shows have sold the full allotment of 700 tickets yet.
“He’s been to her last several shows, but it caught her completely off-guard that he was in Sheboygan,” said Lt. Jeff Johnston of the Sheboygan Police.
It caught me off-guard too. Really I would be stunned anyone went to Sheboygan for anything at all (besides bratwurst). This whole thing is kind of sad. Sad that a guy stalks at all, sad that he heads Wisconsin to do it.
Hey fella, just let Michelle play her county fairs in peace.
PS – I actually really like Branch. She plays the piano which is good. She’s cute too. I’m just a hateful person who occasionally lashes out at people I like. Watch out drug dealers!
Rose McGowan doesn’t want anyone else showing up at prom in the same color dress as hers. [SOW]
Eva Longoria’s man candy Tony Parker ventures from the NBA into the rap world. Check out his video. [Cele|bitchy]
If you can believe it, all is not well in the Lohan family. [Celebslam]
PETA launches its latest anti-fur campaign, starring Shirley Manson, Sophie Ellis Bextor and a bloody fox corpse. Mmm … makes me hungry. [popbytes]
I love Christina Ricci’s new Louis Vuitton ads, although I’m not completely clear on what I’m supposed to buy. [Allie]
Penelope Cruz and Josh Hartnett. If I live in a country for nearly seven years and fail to develop any mastery of the native language, do I get to date all the most attractive men there, too? Is that how it works? Because I might be able to pull it off in, like, Russia. [Gabsmash]
Fantasia Barrino is still making music videos. [Juicy-News]
Jessica Simpson visits an orphanage to make sure none of those poor kids get pimples. [Yeeeah!]
Today I got a lovely letter from a staffer over at E! Networks with regards to the Simple Life promo shots I posted earlier in the week. I don’t mind these types of letters. I get them often, from all sorts of people, and I pull the images in question, because, you know, it’s definitely not worth going to court. I was particularly impressed by E! Networks, though. They sent a very important-looking PDF with my real name and real address and a very scary letter authored by their “Intellectual Property Administrator” and with a real-life lawyer cc’d. Here’s what cracks me up: there were several grammatical errors in this letter. In fact, this ultra-intimidating genius actually used “you’re” when he meant “your.” Jesus, buddy, Paris Hilton knows the difference. Honestly, E!, have your people proofread their shit before they send it out across the blogosphere. I’ve attached the file here with my mark-ups. Click to behold the stunning intellectual capacity of an E! staffer.
