Dudes, I’m just too tired to fight the establishment any longer.  So I’m just moving straight into acceptance mode.  Another 80’s movie is getting a sequel.  Sigh.

Hollywood has decided that we need to get a follow-up of the 1988 cult classic Heathers and despite all the denials, Wynona Ryder insists that the project is happening.  “Whatever you hear, there is a sequel in the works. I swear to God.  But for some reason the writer Dan Waters and director Michael Lehman don’t want to talk about it. I’ve been wanting to do a sequel forever. There is a story, and Christian [Slater] has agreed to come back as a kind of Obi-Wan character.”

So there you have it, a Heathers continuation confirmation straight from the pill-popping, scarf-pilfering, jewelry-losing, I’ve Exhausted All Hyphenates, whack job, Winona.

I guess the big story is that $125,000 in jewelry, lent to Winona Ryder for a Marie-Claire photo shoot, has gone missing.  The first version of this disaster was that Ryder reported the bracelet and ring missing after she gave them to a hotel employee to put in the safe.  Of course there were no surveillance tapes of that exchange happening and the story has now changed.  New reports are surfacing stating that she left jewelry and clothes from the shoot in her hotel room when she checked out because no one from Marie-Claire came by to collect them.  Seriously, just left the stuff in the room.  Like, where is her responsibility in this?  The dress and shoes weren’t stolen from the hotel room.  Just the diamonds natch.

And I’m over here in the corner thinking “Who the FUCK thought it was a good idea to loan over 100k in jewelry to Winona Ryder?  Do we actually forget her chewing inventory sensors off of satin hair bows in Barneys dressing room?  I wouldn’t loan this chick a Bic.”  Now listen, I have no idea if she stole the gems or not.  I’m merely suggesting that a felon with a propensity for prescription drugs may not be the one you leave unattended with Bulgari diamonds.

And yes, the bracelet in the picture is the AWOL bracelet.

So, a plane from LAX to Heathrow ordered a priority landing yesterday after Winona Ryder collapsed on it twice. I didn’t cover it on here, because Winona Ryder manages to simultaneously bore and annoy me, but now it’s kind of amusing because it turns out homegirl overdosed on anti-anxiety meds, Xanax specifically.

One passenger said: “She turned a deathly shade of pale. It was scary.”

Okay, look, as someone who has a loooong history of an intense fear of flying, I have to tell you that it’s damn hard to get so fucked up on anxiety meds that they request priority landing. I have personally combined a shitload of Xanax and Seroquel and Clonopin with a shitload of liquor many many many times and only once did they threaten to turn the plane around, and that was in Japan so it doesn’t even really count. I managed to talk them out of it. Winona must have taken WAY WAY WAY too much shit. She’s such a trainwreck.

Winona spoke recently for the first time about her reaction to her December 2001 shoplifting arrest, making the valid point that, in December 2001, it’s not exactly what the nation needed to be focused on.

“I didn’t have this tremendous sense of guilt, because I hadn’t hurt anyone,” Ryder tells Vogue magazine for its August cover story. “Had I physically harmed someone or caused harm to a human being, I think it would have been an entirely different experience.”

Her personal reaction, she says, was “I never said a word. I didn’t release a statement. I didn’t do anything. I just waited for it to be over.”

Still, she says, “The attention was what was embarrassing.” She also expresses dismay that one day the news of her arrest topped stories on the supposed capture of Osama bin Laden.

She also kinda-sorta talks about her kinda-sorta drug problem.

“Two months prior to that, I broke my arm in two places, and the doctor, a sort of quack doctor, was giving me a lot of stuff and I was taking it at first to get through the pain. And then there was this weird point when you don’t know if you are in pain but you’re taking it.”

She said painkillers of the type she was on – such as Oxycodone, which should not be confused with OxyContin – left her in a state of “confusion,” but that her arrest “in a very weird way, was a blessing, because I couldn’t do that [painkillers] anymore.”