I feel very relieved knowing that Fergie was going to a comedy club while wearing this thing — she was obviously wanting people to laugh at her.  She succeeded.

Fergster, along with her Black Eyed Pea band members went to Le Comedy Club in Paris yesterday to promote their new album, The E.N.D.

As many of you know, Perez went on Twitter this morning asking for the Toronto police to report to the hotel he was staying at, because he stated he had been attacked by Black Eyed Pea’s will.i.am.  His exact Tweet was:  “I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke.” Does it strike anyone as slightly illogical that the blogger was on his Sidekick sending out messages (and there were a few) to the Twitterverse that he needed someone to call the cops?  My theory is this:  If you can type 140 characters on Twitter, you can dial three numbers — 9-1-1.

Needless to say, Hilton has videotaped a statement where he documents the happenings of the evening.  He refers to w.i.a. as a “heat-seeking missile”, there is lots of crying on the tape, and many “ev-er” and “ne-ver” utterances.  Very.  Dramatic.  I think what I take the most issue with is the fact that, the way Perez describes the series of events, it sounds like will.i.am’s manager hit Perez, not the singer himself.  Oh, and Perez’s video isn’t suitable for work thanks to his curse-laden tantrum near the end.

I also want you to watch will.i.am’s two videotaped statements, viewable here and here.  Isn’t it interesting how factual and calm he seems to be?

I don’t doubt for a moment that Perez Hilton got punched in the face — it was only a matter of time.  Do I think anyone deserves to be physically assaulted?  No.  Do I think Perez Hilton has culpability for escalating a bad situation by screaming at someone calling them a “fag” and a “faggot”?  Yes.  Do I think he owes will.i.am an apology for Tweeting that the rapper assaulted him, when it sounds like it was a Black Eyed Pea employee that did the punching?  Ab.  So.  Lutely.

It’s time again for another edition of Famous People and Their Hideous Expensive Clothing. Saturday night, a few music stars who are popular in Japan walked the red carpet at the Saitama Super Arena for the 2009 Japan MTV Video Music Awards. Fergie glared at everyone from deep inside a swirly spiral of velvety blue ribbons of fabric while her BEP bandmate Will.i.am wore what looked like a Confederate soldier’s uniform and saluted photogs.

Pop punk group Green Day seemed to take the red carpet walk very seriously, facing backwards half the time and  pretending to piss on the wall at one point.

Ciara (remember her?) was also in attendance, having just escaped from a 1980’s James Bond movie.

However, the real fashion star of the event was Katy Perry. In addition to the pelvic peacock number I wrote about earlier, Perry performed her song Hot N Cold while wearing a corset covered in sushi and sequins. It may have been her idea of paying homage to the country, but it’s the equivalent of a Japanese star coming here and performing in a dress covered in french fries and hamburgers.

Enjoy the gallery, but don’t stare too long at Fergie’s knees unless you’re wearing adequate eye protection.