Archive for the ‘Whitney Houston’ Category

It’s Never Too Late To Count Our Blessings

Saturday, November 29th, 2008

Whitney Houston has released an official statement denying Bobby Brown reconciliation rumors.  Uh…what?  I scanned the original story (the one where “unnamed sources” said Bobby and Whitney totally, definitely, possibly could be getting back together) a few days ago and then immediately drank a bottle of rubbing alcohol in an attempt to obliterate the memory.  Or vodka…it might have been vodka.  Either way, I am very relieved to hear it was a BS story.  I may be a couple of days late but Whitney’s denial is what I am most thankful for. 

I’m convinced that paps just make up these stories during slow news times, i.e. the holidays.  I’m thinking at Christmas, we should expect headlines such as “Amy Winehouse Opts For Water Without Scotch!”  Or “Posh Spice Eats!”  You know, something completely unbelievable.

New Whitney Houston Featuring Akon: “Like I Never Left”

Monday, July 28th, 2008

What’s the verdict, kids? Does Whitney still have it?

This whole thing kind of falls flat for me, honestly. The song itself is boring, and Akon’s totally out-singing her. Whitney just doesn’t have the pipes like she used to. And I guess that can be blamed on another kind of pipes. Sadness.

(BTW, the video is just a montage, it’s not for this specific song.)

Bobby Brown Is a Piece of Shit

Friday, April 4th, 2008

bobby_brown.jpg

Bobby Brown is one big huge giant turd.

The huge loser has written a tell-all about his relationship with Whitney Houston. In it, he basically blames Whitney for his drug problem.

“I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice,” he says. “At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine.”

Heh. “Cooked cocaine.” Uh, dude, in most circles we call that “crack.” I have known many drug addicts and recovering drug addicts in my life, and I have never in my life heard any of them say that they smoked “cooked cocaine.” That’s fucking hilarious.

Brown claims his marriage “was doomed from the very beginning. Within the first year we separated, with several more to follow. I think we got married for all the wrong reasons. Now, I realize Whitney had a different agenda than I did when we got married . . . I believe her agenda was to clean up her image, while mine was to be loved and have children.”

And in response to allegations that he cheated on Whitney with Karrine “Superhead” Steffans: “Yes, I’ve slept with her. Yes, I’ve spent several nights at her house. But she was only good for what her nickname stood for.”

Oh my God!

What a fucking asshole. Like, dude, okay, you’re writing a book to talk shit about the ex-wife you hate. But do you really have to call some random chick you repeatedly spent the night with a valueless piece of trash? Soooo classy, buddy.

Whitney’s rep released the following statement in response:

“Miss Houston is sad that Bobby feels he need to say such things but she choses to take the high road and will not speak badly about the father of her child even if it’s to set the record straight.”

Geez, Bobby, I hope you make a shitload of money on this book. Because it cost you what little dignity you had left.

I Honestly Thought Whitney/Ray-J Was a Joke

Monday, February 19th, 2007

This was one of those stories I came across and thought to myself, “Ha ha, very funny, retarded tabloids.” But I guess it’s for real. Whitney Houston and the urinator to Kim Kardashian’s urinatee, Ray-J, are totally a couple. They were spotted last night at a private party in Vegas. When not urinating on Kim Kardashian or porking Whitney Houston, Ray-J also plays brother to singer Brandy. Rock on, I guess. Mostly, I’m way psyched for Whitney on this one. After dealing with Bobby Brown for a million years, she deserves some hot young ass. And after watching that Kim K footage, you know Whitney’s gettin’ some good lovin’.
[via Bossip]

Whit Houston Needs Some Crack Money

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007


No, that’s overly mean spirited even for a child of spite. But some of Houston’s stuff is going up for sale and you can be the proud owner if you hustle down to New Jersey post haste.

You can see the full list of stuff for sale here but the highlights include:

Dolce & Gabban Bustiers
Atelier Versace Beaded Cat Suit
Some of Bobby’s Awards
Northfield 36″ Vertical Band Saw

No word as to whether the band saw was used by Whitney herself and the items are only going up for auction because no one paid the storage bill. The lesson here: Pay all bills, and then only afterwards do enough drugs to kill a horse.

Whit Houston Needs Some Crack Money

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007


No, that’s overly mean spirited even for a child of spite. But some of Houston’s stuff is going up for sale and you can be the proud owner if you hustle down to New Jersey post haste.

You can see the full list of stuff for sale here but the highlights include:

Dolce & Gabban Bustiers
Atelier Versace Beaded Cat Suit
Some of Bobby’s Awards
Northfield 36″ Vertical Band Saw

No word as to whether the band saw was used by Whitney herself and the items are only going up for auction because no one paid the storage bill. The lesson here: Pay all bills, and then only afterwards do enough drugs to kill a horse.

Really Early-Morning Links

Thursday, December 21st, 2006

Sharon Stone and Christian Slater are dating. This is a recipe for … well … lots of really good cocaine. [CelebSlam]

Tara Reid can still get modeling jobs. [Rappy's]

Josh and Scarlett have come to terms with the fact that they are the sexiest people under 30 on the face of this planet, and they simply have no choice but to date each other. [The Blemish]

Joan Rivers, now officially senile, thinks this country considers Jessica Simpson an intellectual. [Agent Bedhead]

Yes, of course Halle Berry’s releasing an album. What did you expect her to do at this stage of her career? Act? [Pop on the Pop]

Evangeline Lilly’s Hawaii home burns down. This is where I write a joke that demonstrates some background knowledge of Evangeline Lilly or that show she’s on. I have no such knowledge. [Bricks and Stones]

Check out the first track from Whitney Houston’s comeback album. [Bossip]

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