Whitney Houston makes her first public appearance, newly sober and split from Bobby Brown, looking great. Let the comeback begin! [Celebrity Smack]

Michael Jackson moonwalks back onto our national radar, announcing plans to marry his children’s nanny and make a rare public appearance at the World Music Awards in London. Everybody stay very quiet. Maybe he’ll just go away. [Hollyscoop and Hollywood Backwash]

X17 has footage of Lindsay Lohan less than an hour before she was spotted screaming and crying in her vehicle after all-night partying. She leaves Paris Hilton’s house with a pizza box covering her face, walks into her car (like, literally — she runs right into it, with the pizza box obstructing her vision), then drives off. When the paparazzi are asking if you’re okay to drive, maybe you should ask yourself the same question, Linds. [X17]

Live television is so much fun! Isn’t that right, SNL? [Defamer]

It’s cute when photogs decide they’re going to stop bloggers from using their photos. [HGW]

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe get into a little tiff at the Flags of Our Fathers screening in NYC. Ryan claims Reese is embarrassing him, mostly because her jaw is overshadowing his career. [Cityrag]

Victoria Beckham has been offered the hosting gig on Simon Fuller’s new fashion-centric reality show. She may turn it down, since the show films in the U.S., and she knows that if she leaves hubby David’s side for more than a minute, some hottie’s going to steal him away. Like Paris Hilton. Or Tom Cruise. [Hollyscoop]

Rod Stewart thought Paris Hilton was a hot piece of ass. When she was fourteen. [Yeeah!]

Whitney officially kicks the Bobby habit. [People]

It’s not so much that Christina Aguilera’s hubby is smoking a joint, it’s that he’s wearing a bike helmet at the same time. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Catherine Zeta-Jones acts pissed that husband Michael Douglas said Eva Longoria has a great ass, as a part of their joint effort to convince the world he’s managed an erection at any point this decade. [ICYDK]

Matt Damon reaches out to African children without managing to adopt one. [PopSugar]

• Jessica Simpson hits the street with her sister Ashlee. She’s put on a LOT of weight this year, and I think she’s trying to hide it with this black parachute of an outfit, but it really just draws attention to it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: her stylists hate her.
• Whitney Houston confirms that she plans to divorce Bobby Brown. Their 14-year marriage survived the fact that they’re both egomaniacal crackheads, but it just couldn’t make it through a reality TV show. Will you people never learn? Reality TV kills marriages. Always.
• Paris Hilton is fucking Travis Barker for one reason and one reason alone: he is recently separated from the mother of his children and people will talk about it and her picture will be in all the papers. On most days, I find Paris amusingly self-absorbed and her antics voyeuristically engaging. With this, I just think she’s a piece of shit. It’s low even for her.
• The angry, lucrative buzz surrounding the upcoming season of Survivor: Racism has been more of a dull hum these past couple of days. But CBS was prepared for such a lull with its secret weapon — a CBS Corp. board member who is also the President of the NAACP. Wanna know what the NAACP thinks of Survivor: Racism today? Not such big fans. Go ahead, talk amongst yourselves. Call your mother. Write your senator. Blog about it. Buzzzzzz.