Just in case you weren’t sure exactly how many things were imperfect about your own body, Victoria Beckham is happy to get mostly naked all over your magazines and billboards so that you have plenty of opportunities to count every way your body is different from hers.

I’m telling you right now that I love the bag and I need to know who makes it and how much it is.  Does anyone know?  I’ve been up and writing since four and I’m too lazy tired to Google.  But I want it and have to figure out how many kids gallons of blood I have to sell to be able to afford it.

Elton John’s yearly party is super exclusive and tough to get an invite to.  Having said that, I’m having a few “What the fuck,” moments.

What the fuck?  Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour are back together?

What the fuck?  What is that French’s Golden Mustard get-up Dita Von Teese wearing?

What the fuck?  Rachel Griffiths in head-to-toe grey flannel?  Is she fat or just pregnant?  Oh, she’s pregnant.  Still…that’s not right.

Bai Ling?  Just, what the fuck?

Ugh, I had more to say, but I looked at too many pictures of Posh and now I must sleep…can’t…keep…eyes…open.

Ricky Martin appeared at Armani’s 5th Avenue store opening in New York City wearing a purple satin scarf.  Is that an ascot?  I never know.  Either way, the last wisp of imagined heterosexuality has officially been erradicated.

Also there, Victoria Beckham looking as muscular as ever, Solange Knowles wearing a bunch of shit that doesn’t match, and John Mayer.

David and Victoria Beckham seem intent on giving Brangelina a run for their money, as the two of them looked absolutely stunning at a party at Milan Fashion Week on Tuesday.

Does Posh ever have a fashion miss? Or allow David to have one?

She’s quite remarkable.

Like her hubby before her, Victoria Beckham is the new face of Armani. She just signed a three-year, multi-million deal with the fashion powerhouse, and this is the first spread to come out of it.

What do we think???

Is Posh still worth the cash???

It’s totally the battle of the former BFFs!!

Both Victoria Beckham’s ads for Armani and Katie Holmes’ ads for Miu Miu leaked on the Internets today.

Who did a better job???