A stalker tried to kill Sandra Bullock’s husband. This never would have happened if you’d stuck with Matthew McConaughey, dear. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Your daily pics of Britney, now with no bra. [ICYDK]

Paris Hilton isn’t in any particular rush to help Joe Francis out of this whole being-in-jail thing. I know, I know. It rocked my world, too. [Cele|bitchy]

We’ve missed you, Tara Reid. [Drunken Stepfather]

FutureWax/LoveSounds. [DListed]

HDuf makes Jane magazines “30 Under 30.” Teri Hatcher was originally very upset that she didn’t make the list, but then the editor explained to her that it’s for years, not pounds. [Bree]

Nelly Furtado and Fergie are feuding. [popbytes]

Kevin Federline will shill for anything. [Celebslam]

Prince totally calls out Paris Hilton. [Agent Bedhead]

Pam Anderson still looks good in that red one-piece. [The Blemish]

Go ahead, relive that Celine Dion/Elvis Presley duet from Wednesday night. [Glitterati]

Jamie-Lynn Sigler films the final episode of The Sopranos in New Jersey today.

Sorry, but we love cute animals around here.

Joe Simpson wants a crack at managing Britney Spears. [MollyGood]

The court system goes wild on Joe Francis yet again. [Cele|bitchy]

Is Tom Cruise sending Katie Holmes to Mommy classes? Well, no, but that’s the story Us Weekly’s running with this week. [SOW]

Ryan Gosling is a serious! Actor! Dammit! [Pajiba]

Donald Trump is really going to miss feuding with Rosie O’Donnell. [Celebrity Smack]

Sanjaya’s mom was a real-life Nancy Botwin. That’s so cool. [A Socialite's Life]

Check out MK from popbytes — the total hottie responsible for taking me on the best date I’ve been on all year — on AOL’s 30 Seconds to Blog. [popbytes]

Nicole Richie and Sophie Monk hit the town. [Drunken Stepfather]

Check out Heidi Montag’s new rack. [POTP]

Hilary Duff gets all the good death threats. [Ninja Dude]

This has to stop, guys. Enough is enough. You’ve had your fun. Now quit with the high-waisted pants before someone’s vagina sustains permanent damage.

Roger Ebert was diagnosed with cancer last year and has gone through hell to get better. He was forced to have part of his jaw amputated and because of that, and surgery to fix the problem, he is unable to speak. He knows that illness has ravaged his looks but he isn’t hiding and rather is coming out to the media as an example of going on with your life in the face of illness.

My Ninth Annual Overlooked Film Festival opens Wednesday night at the University of Illinois at Urbana, and Chaz and I will be in attendance. This year I won’t be speaking, however, as I await another surgery. I have received a lot of advice that I should not attend the festival. I’m told that paparazzi will take unflattering pictures, people will be unkind, etc.

I love that he still has a great sense of humor. He goes to say that it is the most important thing for him to be at his film festival and be surrounded by friends, well-wishers, and even the pesky gossip rags.

At least, not being able to speak, I am spared the need to explain why every film is “overlooked,” or why I wrote “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.” Being sick is no fun. But you can have fun while you’re sick. I wouldn’t miss the festival for anything! P.S. to gossip rags: I have some back pain, and to make it easier for me to sit through screenings, the festival has installed my very own La-Z-Boy chair. Photos of me in the chair should be captioned “La-Z-Critic.”

Get Better!

Even Sanjaya can’t make David Letterman’s Top Ten list amusing. [popbytes]

It’s not that Posh is anorexic, it’s just that she obsessively controls what she eats to the point of being dangerously underweight. There’s a difference, people. [DListed]

I think Jessica Biel has the world record for most photos taken of anyone’s ass while walking a dog. [Drunken Stepfather]

It would actually be really awesome if Jay-Z did a remix of “Rehab.” [Bossip]

Damn, Britney. Lookin’ good, girl. [Celebslam]

It’s Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ turn to hit up rehab. [Glitterati]

If you’re one of those types who enjoys watching commercials just for fun, here’s Beyonce’s new Samsung one. [Concrete Loop]