Jenny McCarthy discusses her son’s autism. [POTP]

Okay, Vanessa Minnillo, it’s one thing to take up with Jessica Simpson’s ex-husband. But her hairdresser? You bitch. [popbytes]

Russian supermodel Natalia Vodianova in her underwear. You know you wanna. [Grumpiest]

Pics of Lindsay Lohan showing up for Britney’s LA mini-show in her very best Catherine Tramell. [Drunken Stepfather]

Break out the lube, boys, Maggie Gyllenhaal is breast-feeding! [Celebrity Baby Blog]

Don’t worry, folks, Paris won’t be released from jail early due to overcrowding; there’s plenty of room at Lynwood these days. [Cele|bitchy]

Chloe Sevigny says she used to drop a lot of acid. Used to, Chloe? Apparently you now have serious flashbacks every time you go to pick an outfit. [Celebrity Smack]

Jesus, did Jessica Simpson always have knockers like this? [Warship]

Hayden Panetierre’s castmates throw her a high-school graduation party. [Celebslam]

The American Idol songwriting contest is in full swing. Wake up and smell the genius! [GTS]

Gisele Bundchen may have been dumped by Victoria’s Secret, but Louis Vuitton is happy to take the sloppy seconds. [Derek Hail]

Heidi Montag is going to pose in bikinis with those new tits of hers until I care. [Jordan]

Brooke Hogan is performing in her underwear, because it would truly be a crisis if anyone were forced to focus on her singing. [Hollyweird Gazette]

Fergie goes through eight outfits on one day. Now if only she could change her face. [cityrag]

Even though the reviews were dismal, all you Americans fell right in line with Europe and Asia, giving Spider-Man 3 the largest opening day in U.S. history. I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, Pirates 2. The film is expected to take in $135-145MM this weekend.

Tobey Maguire celebrated tonight by catching the De La Hoya/Mayweather fight with Leonardo DiCaprio at the MGM in Las Vegas. There were a ton of celebs there — J.Lo and Marc Anthony (who sang the national anthem), Fifty Cent (who rapped as Mayweather entered the ring), perennial presidential hopeful John McCain, Ron Howard, P. Diddy and several others. I’m trying to track down photos for you all … should be available in a couple hours.

An excerpt from Rex Reed’s review in The Observer:

Over-produced, over-publicized, over-designed, over-computerized and just plain over the moon, it’s so preposterously overwrought with so many bewildering plots juggling simultaneously for over-emphasis, there’s no entry point for criticism. You just stare at it, as you might a great big exploding pile of cow manure …

The sets are cheesy. The actors are unconscious. The writing is barely legible. The digital effects are overwhelming, without a shred of freshness or originality. None of it makes sense. In summation, Spider-Man 3 consists of one swollen contrivance after another until they all fester and erupt in an incomprehensible blast of noise and gibberish.

Seventeen minutes late and counting.

Jail jail jail jail jail!!!

JAIL!!!!

Update: She has arrived. Let the games begin.

I think the headline says it all folks. And don’t give me no jibba-jabba about Australia either.

Because I’m just fuckin’ on top of it today.

I’m sure David Beckham was super excited that his birthday party was basically a Spice Girls reunion. [Cele|bitchy]

Look, Isaiah, it’s over. Just stop using homophobic slurs. No need to film a whole PSA about it. [The Bosh]

Who else is totally psyched for the J.Lo/Marc Anthony juggernaut that is El Cantante? [Junkiness]

It looks like Jessica Alba may be getting very, very naked for Sin City 2. [Agent Bedhead]

Please, David Hasselhoff, remind us again how your ex-wife has a substance abuse problem. I mean, after you sober up enough to eat a hamburger without assistance. [The Blemish]

Mr. Hail conducts a thorough analysis of some possible explanations for the white powder on Kate Moss’s pants as she leaves a London club. [Derek Hail]

The Smashing Pumpkins are touring again. Break out the Urban Decay nail polish. [ICYDK]

Brad and Angelina are still disgustingly in love. [Daily Stab]

Busta Rhymes gets pulled over due to having excessively tinted skin windows, and winds up with a DUI. [Yeeeah!]

Now that Lindsay and Britney don’t go to AA meetings, we’re forced to turn our attention to Mike Tyson’s rehabbing adventures. [Bossip]

A billion more Coachella photos, because some of you care. [Buzznet]

In the oh-so-capable hands of Sarah Silverman, even beastiality is funny. [popbytes]

Celeb bikini watch brings us Vanessa Anne Hudgens today. We’ve got a whole summer of this ahead of us, kids! [Grumpiest]

And hooray for a Sienna Miller nip slip! [Drunken Stepfather]

See, it occurs to Britney Spears to cover her nipples with flowers, but cover her vagina with underwear? Why would she do that? [The Bosh]

Reese and Jake are still going strong. [Cele|bitchy]

Carmen Electra and what must have been a goddamn stable of airbrushers team up for her pictorial in FHM Russia. Honestly, this isn’t even a pictorial. Somebody painted this. The original, oil on canvas, is hanging in a museum in St. Petersberg. Carmen Electra hasn’t looked like this in 10 years and you know it, FHM. [CityRag]

BREAKING: Paris Hilton spends a truly unreasonable amount of time looking at herself in the mirror. [Gossip or Truth]

More pics of Britney’s San Diego HoB show. [Allie is Wired]

Hayden Panettiere’s 10-year-old brother is about two years away from the disturbing realization that he totally wants to bang his sister. [Ninja Dude]

Rosie won’t be fighting with Elizabeth Hasselbeck anymore, lest such blatant liberalism somehow interfere with her co-host’s pregnancy. I don’t know. Whatever. [ASL]

You know, guys, it’s really hard for Keira Knightley to eat when you keep calling her anorexic. All the stress just takes her appetite right away. But not, like, in an anorexic way. It’s just that refusing to eat is her response to high-stress situations. Sheesh. [MollyGood]