Yes, that’s right, kids …
If you’re Christian, you’ve got ChristianSingles.com.
If you’re Jewish, try JDate.
If you’re a golddigger, check out Millionaire Match.
But if you just plain have herpes, there’s H-Date.com, where it’s “time to start dating again.”
And they’re using Paris Hilton’s name to plug their site. She’s just gotta love that. Luckily for them, I think she has bigger problems right now.
Thanks Anna.
Breaking: Kim Kardashian has a huge butt. [Ninja Dude]
Akon is back to his old on-stage brutality tricks. [Holy Moly]
It’s Brooke Burke’s turn to put on a bikini and splash around for photogs. [Celebslam]
Jessica Simpson just doesn’t even care anymore. [Cele|bitchy]
If there is a stripper pole within fifty feet of Adrianne Curry, you best believe she’s getting on that thing. [Celebrity Smack]
Some soap star named Shemar scores a DUI. [Holy Candy]
Do all live music performances just suck these days? [Pajiba]
Now you can watch Dina Lohan systematically destroy the lives of her two other children from the safety and comfort of your very own living room! [Celeb Warship]
Nicole Richie finally takes a hike … oh, and she might also be pregnant (except she’s totally not). [The Bosh]
Beyonce’s drunk again. [POTP]
You know who didn’t offer Heidi Montag a million bucks to pose naked for them? Playboy, that’s who. We already get to see her stripped of decency and self-respect every week on The Hills. [F&C]
Katee Holmes topless. (No, that’s not a typo — this one’s the awesome 18-year-old who’s threatening to lose her virginity on-camera.) [Jordan]
We’ll get to posting about other, unincarcerated celebs eventually today, I promise. Until then, here’s the Paris Hilton mug shot.
John Travolta’s son is not autistic dammit, and the easiest way to prove that is to have another child. [The Blemish]
Courtney Love and Linda Perry rock House of Blues — I am so rooting for a Courtney Love comeback! [popbytes]
For the eight of you who watch Flip This House, one of its former real-estate investors is being accused of fraud. [Cele|bitchy]
Nicole Richie overheats Joel Madden’s beemer. That sounds kinda dirty. [Celebslam]
Day-um. Leann Rimes rocks her body for Shape. [Daily Stab]
Britney Spears has the classiest taste in bikinis. [Drunken Stepfather]
Ben Affleck continues his quest to be the most boring rehabbed celebrity ever, delivering a heart-warming commencement speech at a D.C. high school and respecting his commitment to the Make-A-Wish foundation. See, folks, this is what’s going to become of Lindsay Lohan if you all keep rooting for her to get healthy. [A Socialite's Life]
MTV invites everyone in LA to liveblog the Video Music Awards but me. :( Not cool, MTV. [LAist]
Jesus Lord, someone’s letting Kelly Osbourne do another reality TV show. [Agent Bedhead]
Alyson Hannigan’s got a new haircut. I don’t know why, but nothing can make me care about this girl. [Celebrity Puke]
Some baseball dude named “A-Rod” got caught sticking his A-Rod in someone other than his wife. Snore. Wake me when I’m male. [IBBB]
The heat must really be getting to me. College Humor has a bunch of photos that are sexually suggestive trick photographs. They are a bit juvenile but totally hilarious. Enjoy!
As if you could possibly get any more excited about the upcoming Simpsons movie, it turns out that Green Day will be covering the well-known Simpsons theme song for the film. They’ll be doing a punk version of the song, which will be released as a single on July 24, three days before the movie hits theaters.
Two-time Academy Award winner and genuinely talented human being Hilary Swank did the unthinkable on Friday: she didn’t show up at Hyde. She didn’t get wasted. She didn’t get a DUI and she didn’t check into rehab. Instead, she helped kick off a round-the-world run to raise awareness of the world’s 1.1 billion people who lack access to clean drinking water. Swank was supporting Blue Planet Run, a project in which 20 runners will log 15,200 miles over 95 days. Each participant will run 10 miles at a time.
Hilary told the AP she had taken the “ordinary miracle” of clean drinking water “for granted far too many times.”
“Making safe drinking water available is everyone’s problem,” she said, “and it’s a problem it will take everyone to solve. It’s easy for me to show up today and talk about this. The real heroes are the 20 people who are actually running … and putting their lives on hold for the 95 days.”
For more about how you can help, by donating your time or your money, click here. $30 of your cash provides one person with safe drinking water to last a lifetime. That’s like the price of two beers at Hyde. You’ve got no excuse.
