Remember like a billion years ago when we asked you guys to send us your very best proposal stories to win a trip to Las Vegas or Napa? It was a contest we were running to celebrate the release of The Proposal on DVD, but it didn’t feel like work — we had such a fantastic time reading all the entries and laughing our asses off. I don’t think we got even a single entry that wasn’t either funny or interesting or just bizarre.

We’re a little late on announcing the winner; the process got a bit derailed when everyone in the office had the flu for like two weeks. But we read every single entry, and we discussed, and we voted, and we are SO EXCITED about our winner, Liz from North Carolina.

Here’s Liz’s entry, which we thought was funny and touching and definitely unique:

My boyfriend came over to my apartment while I was outside walking the dog. I wasn’t expecting him, so I ran up and hugged him. He didn’t hug me back and wouldn’t look me in the eyes. I asked him what was wrong and he said “I need to talk to you about something; I wrote you a letter to explain everything.” He had once tried to break up with me in a letter, so I was furious. I ran upstairs and he gave me an envelope. I opened it, cursing him “You fucking asshole, we have been together forever and now you’re breaking up with me?!” It was a swirly lettered card that said “Congratulations on Your Engagement.” I was confused. On the inside of the card, my boyfriend had written “That is, if you say yes.” I looked up from my angry tears to see that my husband was kneeling down on one knee with a ring. I realized what was happening. I started to cry even more and I said, “Yes, you asshole!!!” and beat him with the engagement card. I later asked him why he would propose to me in such a completely unromantic way, and he said “Well, you knew I was probably going to propose soon, and I wanted to make sure you were surprised.”

Congratulations to Liz and her husband!! We can’t wait to hear all about your trip! Make sure to send pics!!!

I don’t go to church every Sunday and I don’t own rosary beads.  I don’t observe religious holidays and I inwardly groan when I get a wedding invite and realize that it means I’ll have to sit through an entire mass.  How.Ev.Er.  I believe that God exists and he does answer prayers.  Today, I have proof.

Today, Oprah is expected to announce that she’s ending her show.  After 25 interminably fucking long years, it will finally be over in 2011.  This has been like suffering through the world’s longest colonoscopy.

I was rejoicing about this good news on Facebook when a few people tried to take the shine off my elation by pointing out that O will just be moving her show to her long-awaited — and I’d like to personally meet the people who are waiting for this — Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN).  Yeah, I don’t care about that.  As long as I keep out of the high 200’s when I’m channel surfing, I should be okay in avoiding her.

Can you even imagine what this new OWN is going to be like?  If you suffer from depression, low self-esteem, have suicidal tendencies or are just having a bad day, STAY AWAY FROM OPRAH’S NEW NETWORK!  Because Oprah is awesome.  And almighty.  And living her highest and most purposeful life.  We simple commoners cannot possibly understand such complex concepts that are discussed on O as evidenced by Oprah constantly taking the words of her guests, chewing them up and serving them pureed style to her apparently idiotic audience (”Do you get that, people?  What she’s saying is that her husband cheated on her, but she’s choosing to move on.”)

Personally, I’m glad that O is waddling off into the sunset.  I hope she finds tons, and I do mean tons, of success at her new network.  Anything to keep her off the main stations where I could accidentally come in contact with her when I’m desperately searching for Full House reruns.

This is a great day.  Teresa and Jacqueline from Real Housewives of New Jersey make a cameo appearance on tonight’s episode of Mercy.  And is it just my imagination, or do they have completely superior abilities in comparison to the actual actress who is confronting Michelle Trachtenberg?

I will say that I was slightly disappointed that there was no talk of bubbies and no tables were flipped.  How is this new show, Mercy?  Worth watching or ER regurgitated?

Can you guess who it is?  Hint:  It’s not James Franco and I’ve already started my letter-writing campaign urging People subscribers to cancel their subscriptions immediately.  Obviously the people at People are delusional.

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It’s a damn good thing that those “Funny or Die” skits aren’t literal, because we’d all be a pile of rotting carcass right about now.  But I love being able to work “Zach Galifianakis” into any conversation such as “I’ll feed you as soon as I’m done posting this really unfunny bit starring Zach Galifianakis” or “I’m not sure what the right decision is.  What would Zach Galifianakis do?” or “I hurt my ankle.  I can’t remember how, but I know Zach Galifianakis was somehow involved.”  I love typing it and I love saying it.

So, this bit with Andy Richter, Andy Dick, Conan O’Brien and Zach Galifianakis isn’t great, but, you know … Zach Galifianakis.

This “cover” of Nickelback’s “Photograph” had me LOLing, and I thought it would be a nice end-of-workday treat for ya’ll. Thanks to my very favorite film critic, Laremy at Film.com, for the heads-up.

Oh, and while we’re at it, Pamela at Film.com is giving away FREAKIN’ AMAZING Top Chef cookbooks. It’s super easy to enter (click here for details) and the book is amazing. I have been cuddling with one at my desk all day. I WANT TO KEEP IT FOREVER!!!

Because I know all you young ‘uns are going to be like “Who the fuck is Edward Woodward?  What the hell is the Equalizer?” I found a little tribute clip that some genius on YouTube put together two years ago.  The Equalizer was a fantastic, albeit short-lived show that ran in the ’80s.  ”Got a problem?  Odds against you?  Call the Equalizer.”  There were tons of famous and yet-to-be famous people who appeared on that show (Macaulay Culkin, Melissa Joan Hart, Kevin Spacey, Vincent D’Onofrio, Adam Ant, David Grier, John Goodman, Lori Petty, Bradley Whitfor, Laurence Fishburne, Patricia Clarkson, Jennifer Grey, Laurie Metcalf, William H. Macy, Steve Buscemi, Roma Maffia, Olympia Dukakis, Michael Moriarty, Chris Cooper, Michael Rooker, David Strathairn, Charles S. Dutton, Cynthia Nixon, Laura San Giacomo, Kasi Lemmons, Ving Rhames, Amanda Plummer,Jon Polito, Jasmine Guy, Mark Linn-Baker, Tony Shalhoub, Stanley Tucci … shall I go on?) and the theme song was written by Stewart Copeland.  Just a fantastic show.

The actor who played Robert McCall (the Equalizer!), Edward Woodward, did a bunch of movies and theater and also appeared on The Eastenders.  In 1987, Woodward told the AP “I think I’ve probably [sic] more television than any actor living.  I’ve done over 2,000, could be 3,000 now, television productions.”

Woodward passed at 79 due to an illness.