Molly Sims wants the world to know that she’s about so much more than just tits and ass.  I was already convinced after her Emmy-worthy stint on the new 90210.

I can’t say that this video is especially funny, but three minutes and seventeen seconds of Molly cavorting in a bikini is certainly something that should brighten up your mundane Thursday.

When you pore over hundreds of pictures of celebs every day, you start to see similarities.  Sometimes I notice that Rosie O’Donnell’s wife refuses to touch her during any public appearance and sometimes I’ll notice a few notables all wearing the same dress and every once in a while I’m fortunate to spot a very familiar douche stance.  What is it about douche’s and their insatiable need to straddle things with engines?

In fairness, Jon Gosselin was back to his Daddy duties yesterday and actually got his kids off the school bus.  Isn’t it sad that this is like, an event?  INF, like all the photo agencies, does nothing but watch Jon Gosselin all day.  Yesterday they reported that Jon rode a dirt bike and four-wheeler all afternoon until it was time to pick up the twins from school.  Seriously, that was his day — a day made possible by those TLC paychecks that will no longer be coming.  What a life Jon has and how grateful he should be both to a network that took an interest in his family and to his eight adorable children who kept viewers coming back for more.

The last time I wrote about Sean Penn, his agent sent me a little email and it wasn’t to congratulate me on my wit.  Well, I’m back with more Sean Penn news and I wish it was more favorable, yet I’m relieved that I’m not reporting that Sean and Robin Wright are back together again.

Penn’s son, the commode formerly known as Hopper was arrested at his Malibu high school last week.  He’s a minor, just 16 years old, so authorities aren’t releasing any details on the charges.  Therefore, we can only speculate on where the lad went wrong.  I was thinking that maybe he was bagged for painting graffiti on the walls or you know, trying to steal a car.  I’m sure it wasn’t um, *sniff* substance-related.

Stay tuned; it’s only a matter of time before the principal an unnamed source comes forth with the real story.

Jon is on his apology tour and now Kate was all apologetic on last night’s TLC special, Kate:  Her Story.  Since they can’t film the kids anymore, we are treated to 42 minutes of Kate Gosselin’s thoughts and insight every single Monday night.

Kate admits to being too hard on Jon, but immediately negates her admission by stating that she had to handle everything.  You know what I think?  I think she took control over everything in their lives because it gave her the power to boss Jon around and then blame him when everything went to hell.  They both just wear me out so much, y’all.  (I’d also like to take this opportunity to apologize for my recent overuse of “y’all.”  I’m not from the south and I’m not Britney Spears.  I have no good excuse.)

This is a whole lotta mea culpas goin’ on.  Could there be a reunion of these two?  Jon & Kate Decorate:  For The Holidays, That is.

Have you heard Christopher Walken’s remake of Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face?”  It’s even better than Jude Law’s version.

Sad news today as Willie Aames opens up about the struggles he’s faced over the past couple of years.  In 2008, the actor best known as playing neighbor Buddy Lembeck on Charles in Charge, found himself divorced with no family and a home lost to foreclosure.  It just makes you wonder, how does someone go from being a millionaire to sleeping under someone’s shrubs? 

Entertainment Tonight — an interview with Aames is scheduled to air tonight — released this statement (and I hope they fire the person who doesn’t know the difference between “peek, peak and pique”) about the actor, his hardships and a new career path:

Aames opens up about experiencing financial ruin after a successful career as an actor, “At the very peek [of "Eight Is Enough"] I was making a little over a million dollars a year,” he says. “Then suddenly there was no job, no bank account, no wife, no child. I never dreamt it could happen that fast. I found myself virtually homeless. I stayed with friends when I could, slept in parking garages or slept in the park. It was shameful. I remember laying underneath the bushes thinking, ‘Is this how it turns out? Is this how my life really turns out?’”

When asked about reports of a suicide attempt after his wife left with their young daughter, Aames says, “I gave people a lot of cause for concern and I think they acted on those concerns. I’m glad they did. Beyond that, that time period is a blur.”

Aames’s struggles have led to the new VH1 special, “Broke and Famous: Willie Aames,” airing Thursday night. “It’s a docu-drama on what happens to celebrities when they hit rock bottom,” he says. “You have to find some point that will give you the smallest amount of dignity and self respect back.”

Aames tells ET that throughout the years of trying to get back on his feet, he was turned down for several jobs, including wilderness guide, but was finally hired by a construction company.

Today Aames is reunited with his daughter and on his way to becoming a financial advisor. “I never dreamed I would want to be or become a financial advisor,” he reveals. “I am well on my way.”

Jeremy Piven almost committed sushi suicide last year.  Don’t laugh; it can happen.  He went a little nuts with the Philadelphia rolls and before he knew it, he couldn’t act on Broadway any longer.  (Rest assured, his mercury poisoning did not deter him from partying around town.)

After Piv’s “recovery” from the mercury poisoning as well as the subsequent legal action the Speed The Plow folks tried to levy against him, he is now faced with yet another food aversion that threatened to cause him great discomfort … and breasts.

Piven’s newest whinefest involves soy milk, which makes me wonder if there’s another project he’s trying to weasel his way out of.  ”I was the guy that dabbled in soya milk, but now I’ve found out soya milk has enough oestrogen for me to grow breasts; I had to put the soya milk down.   It was a very confusing time.”  Really, Piv?  Because I’m the gal that wants nothing more than to slap you upside with a mercury-laden tuna steak whilst simultaneously pouring a half-gallon of Silk down your throat.  You won’t be confused then.