Tyra Banks got in to the Halloween spirit today on her show, and according to JustJared, the model donned three different costumes all based on people from TV. Her first costume though, was Kim Kardashian and while I honestly think she looks more like Kourtney, Tyra really pulled it off. Both Kim and Tyra are curvy women who consider themselves to be entrepreneurs (except, well, Tyra kinda actually is and Kim has yet to prove she can sell anything that’s not a sex tape) and dabble heavily in reality TV.

What celebrities are you dressing up as and how are you pulling off your look?

Today Forbes released their list of the highest paid women in primetime and I’m sure that more than one of the names will completely shock you. Tyra Banks took first place with her America’s Next Top Model hosting gig (making over $30 million in a twelve month period), and was followed by the Snow Princess herself, Katherine Heigl, whose earnings will also shock you. The complete list is here:

1. Tyra Banks: $30 million
2. Katherine Heigl: $18 million
3. Marg Helgenberger: $9.5 million
4. Eva Longoria: $9 million
5. Mariska Hargitay: $8.5 million
6. Julia Louis-Dreyfus: $8 million
7. Maura Tierney: $8 million
8. Tina Fey: $7 million
9. Marcia Cross: $6.2 million
10. Jennifer Love Hewitt & Ellen Pompeo (tie): $6 million

For the most part these ranking make sense, except for Tina Fey’s #8 spot, as she also writes and produces her hit show 30 Rock. Also, Jennifer Love Hewitt can still rack in 6 million a season for a TV show? Who knew? Do people still care about her? I was unaware. I’m also a bit surprised that a Seinfeld alum like JLD isn’t worth more than Heigl, who beside being a complete brat on and off the set of Grey’s, only makes crappy romantic comedies these days.

Aw, man!  Sometimes I watch things on television that make me cringe.  You know the type of thing where you wish you weren’t watching but you’ll kill anyone who reaches for the remote?  This was one of those times.  Nightline’s Cynthia McFadden interviewed Tyra Banks and it aired last night.  She asked all the appropriate questions (even if she couldn’t pronounce Paulina Porizkova’s name) about Tyra’s successes and relationships and blah, blah, blah.  However, the only thing anyone probably cares about — why do the America’s Top Model judges keep dropping off like flies? — and McFadden was met with silence and crazy eyes.  Even after being warned by Tyra’s publicist a couple of times, she just. Kept. Asking.  I think that’s the sign of a good journalist, but it still made me bite my nails.  I thought Tyra was going to jump out of her seat, grab Cynthia McFadden by her ankles and start swinging her over her head.  Or slather her with Grey Poupon and ask for a knife and fork.

All the uncomfortableness happens in the first four minutes.  Keep watching if you want to know what Tyra defines as “giving back” — I’ll just tell you:  letting the public know when she has cramps.  Nope, not kidding.  Over-sharer, party of one.

Oh, Tyra!  You’re such a scamp!  You’re always thinking of new ways to captivate the audience like the time you had your tits ultrasounded to finally answer the age-old question:  ”Does Tyra Banks have implants?”  And I could never forget the time you grabbed Carnie Wilson’s ass on your show.  I had to go to a year of EMDR therapy to get over that episode.  Thanks.  But this, this may be your finest masterpiece yet.  I cannot wait until the September 8th season premiere of your show.  The day that you have declared “National Real Hair Day”.  

That’s right, folks!  Tyra’s premiere will consist of her appearing on television not wearing a weave.  Apparently, this has never happened before so this is a blockbuster moment.  Does anyone else think Tyra Banks might be insane?  Look at the pictures from the filming of the premiere before you answer that.

You know how I can’t stand Oprah for her sanctimonious “You Must Embrace My Every Philosophy” ways?  Seems like Tyra Banks, who wants to be Oprah anyway, has been on a diet — she did look terrific at last month’s BET awards — and is making those around her eat healthy too. 

A source close to Fox 411 says that when Tyra eats out, she not only makes healthful selections but insists that those dining with her do as well.  “Most people think she’s joking at first, but then they realize she actually expects them to follow her eating rules too.  She tells them: ‘If I’m not eating it, you’re not eating it!’”

So, what types of entrees can you expect to dine upon when sharing a meal with Saint Tyra?  What else?  Lean proteins, veggies and water.

I’ve decided to adopt this same policy and only allow the people around me to eat what I can thanks to having Celiac disease.  Dear family, say “Goodbye,” to your beer, bread, cookies, oh, and any and all foods that taste halfway decent.  If I’m not eating it, you’re not eating it.

Sheesh! Can no woman work with Tyra Banks and then have something nice to say about her? After Paulina Porizkova got the boot from her seat on America’s Next Top Model — citing the producers’ claim that she had an “ego problem” — former judge Janice Dickinson is backing her up.

“That’s how Tyra rolls,” she told MTV News. “Tyra rolls like that, she likes to fire people just about when she’s promising them large amounts of money, they get the axe, like I did … then she takes the money and runs.”

Ouch! Them there’s fighting words! Personally, I do think it’s very interesting that the male presences on the show have gone unchanged over the years, but Tyra can’t seem to keep a woman in the fourth judge’s slot for more than a couple cycles. For all her spewing about how women need to support and love one another, rather than being jealous and destructive toward one another, she sure doesn’t seem to be walking the walk.

I’m proud to say that I haven’t watched a “cycle” of ANTM since model Paulina Porizkova became a judge. I’m still a Janice Dickinson girl, through and through. (And wasn’t Twiggy in there somewhere, too?) Anyway, I guess Paulina’s not a judge anymore, as she told Craig Ferguson that they fired her on her birthday and told her how much she sucked.

“The reason I was told I was fired was because, it seemed, that America’s Next Top Model has gotten too fat and they needed to cut some fat and the fat was me,” Porizkova said during her interview. “So I figured it was either that or my gigantic huge ego. Which I wasn’t aware of until I was told by the producers that I have an ego problem.”

Um, so, let me get this straight here, Tyra: After 12 seasons, there has been no need to replace J. Alexander, Jay Manuel or Nigel Barker, but we’ve gone through three iterations of fellow female judges? I doubt the ego problem lies with Paula. I think Tyra Banks wants to be on top … alone.

“It was very, very shady. I think the judges thought that I lied and that’s why I got sent home. I have a feeling Tyra and Jay [Manuel] don’t really click that well because they have totally different ideas, especially for the Carmen Miranda shoot. The girls that Jay said were doing bad got great photos in panel, and vice versa. I have a feeling they didn’t even really communicate because to have completely opposite ideas that you want the girls to do is completely ridiculous and unfair … Tyra definitely has a soft spot for Aminat and Teyona. I think she just loves [their] personalities. I feel like they’re most relatable to Tyra, since Tyra was a black model struggling. I think she has a hidden emotional connection with the black girls, and I think that’s where a lot of favoritism comes from. I’m not accusing her of it, but that’s just my opinion.”

Natalie Pack, who was recently booted from ANTM, on Tyra Banks and her favoritism.

Oh, man. That Palin family. I thought they’d stop entertaining us after this last Presidential election wrapped up, but I should have known better.

Here’s a clip of Levi whining to Tyra Banks about how Bristol is mean to him and won’t let him take the baby anywhere. Poor Levi. He really has that “pathetic” act down pat right now. I almost feel bad for him. Almost. And I love how Tyra is just coaxing out every sob-story word of it, letting every little drop of mock-tragedy fall like water down her silly, silly extensions.

So what does Sarah Palin’s camp have to say about all this? “We’re disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship,” her rep said in a statement. Dude. That’s a really poorly written statement. It’s not clear what “their relationship” and its corresponding “distortion” refers to. The Palins can’t even get a publicist who can write?

It’s not enough to just act crazy when the Tyra Mail comes or when the camera pans in your direction. The “models” have decided that you have to be willing to pull major shenanigans or cut a bitch just to get in the door.

Apparently, there was some scuffling amongst the model hopefuls waiting for to audition, and this was compounded by the fact that chicks were pissing in cups and fainting because they heard that if you step out of line you can’t get back in. The thing that really set it off though was when a car pulled up next to the line belching smoke and someone yelled “FIRE!”

Naturally (weave is very flammable) the women fled. At that point some dude jumped out of the car and started snatchin bags. At the end of it all, 3 were under arrest, 6 had been injured, and the sidewalk had become a magical carpet of clear heels, eye lash glue, glitter, and feather boas.

Tyra has yet to make a statement, but I guarantee you this will come up not only on ANTM, but all over the Tyra Banks show as well. She’s probably too busy practicing her “horrified” reaction face to bother with the press.

This clip of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner on Tyra’s show is worth watching just to hear Tyra spend a minute talking in a British accent, and behaving as though she is really, really good at it.

Also: Taylor Lautner is WAY HOTTER with short hair than with long. I didn’t think much of him in the film (he plays Jacob) but in this clip he’s definitely attractive.

Part II is after the jump.

On an episode of her talk show, airing Tuesday, Tyra Banks gives away a sex-change operation to Isis King, a transgendered woman who appeared on America’s Next Top Model. I’d like to see Oprah put that shit under everyone’s seats. Ha ha! NO PUN INTENDED!

“This is not happening!” King, who was born Darrell Walls, says when Banks introduces her to Dr. Marci Bowers, a leading gender reassignment surgeon who has experienced the surgery herself. Bowers is paying for the surgery.

“[I feel] like I’m about to wake up,” says King – who lived in a homeless shelter in Maryland before trying out for the show.

The 22-year-old hadn’t gone under the knife yet because she couldn’t afford the $20,000 to $35,000 price tag.

“It’s hard. I try not to think about it because it is something I’m really passionate about,” she says. “I feel like I really was born in the wrong body, and it’s just the one thing that makes me feel uncomfortable.”

I mean, hey, if Howard Stern can give out boob jobs and labiaplasties left and right, Tyra Banks can sure as hell give out vaginas, right?

Rock on, Ty-Ty.