He threw her a birthday party (she’s 32, but who’s counting?) in Miami this weekend, which is weird because her birthday is March 28, but when you have a good excuse to have Mark McGrath and Scott Storch in the same place at the same time, why wait??? Unless you’re afraid the universe might just implode into the black hole of cultural fucking relevance formed when these two are in close proximity. Kim Stewart’s tasteful ass is there, too, because her best friend was banging Travis while he was separated from his wife, and because there might be a pink motorcycle she can fall off of. Happy birthday, Shanna. Love the bangs, doll. Try not to get herpes.

It’s like this: the most fool-proof way to get it to rain is to get your car washed, right?

Similarly, the obvious way to ensure your ex-husband will get Paris Hilton out of his system (or, more likely, to ensure Paris Hilton will get your ex-husband out of her system) and come back to you is to throw a goddamn “divorce party” in Las Vegas.

Well-played, Shanna. Well-played.

After a dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty split, the Meet the Barkers costars were spotted holding hands at Disneyland on Saturday, and cuddling at the Roosevelt last night. Sources say they are definitely back together.

Shanna Moakler continues her image rehabilitation tour by dating Jenna Jameson’s soon-to-be ex-husband, porn producer (and sometime star) Jay Grdina. It’s neat how both Shanna and her ex-husband, Travis Barker, have managed to find new love in porn stars. [Celebslam]

Check out the video for J-Lo’s new song, “Que Hiciste.” [popbytes]

Smashing Pumpkins rocker Billy Corgan is hooking up with Certifiably Insane Recovering Heroin Addict Courtney Love. [Agent Bedhead]

Paris Hilton runs out of gas in Beverly Hills, hangs out and flips through a scrapbook while the paparazzi run to get her gas. Rough life. [NYP]

Former SNL star Chris Kattan gets engaged to some hot chick he would totally never have landed had he not found some measure of fame playing Mango and Mr. Peepers. [Pop on the Pop]

Awww…this is really cute! Total hotties Jennifer Morrison and Jesse Spencer, who both play doctors on House M.D., are engaged. Congratulations! [Cele|bitchy]

Memo to Pam Anderson: asking Heidi Fleiss to be your matchmaker is like — well — asking Kid Rock to be your husband. [A Socialite's Life]

Fantasia is looking a little hot and bothered. [IBBB]

Hooray! Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker are sucking face again. I bet now she feels really bad for not inviting him to her divorce party. [Pop on the Pop]

If you are currently running a major Britney-focused fansite, and you’d like to expand your Internet empire to cover the whole celeb gossip kingdom, now would really be the perfect time to shut down your Britney site, blame it on Britney’s loss of “identity and credibility,” and let gossip bloggers worldwide write about it, creating priceless hype for the project you hope to launch in the new year. Oh, someone already thought to do that? Damn. [The Blemish, World of Britney]

70% of Victoria Beckham’s weight is nipples. That’s nearly 35 pounds of nipples! [Agent Bedhead]

You know how, sometimes, you can be, like, a 100% heterosexual woman, and yet there are totally a handful of chicks you would probably have sex with? Yeah. Dita Von Teese. [Celebrity Smack]

Hey, Meg Ryan, your breasts are kind of like your career: they’re not just going to hold themselves up forever. [Cele|bitchy]

Memo to Pam Anderson: asking Heidi Fleiss to be your matchmaker is like — well — asking Kid Rock to be your husband. [A Socialite's Life]

Fantasia is looking a little hot and bothered. [IBBB]

Hooray! Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker are sucking face again. I bet now she feels really bad for not inviting him to her divorce party. [Pop on the Pop]

If you are currently running a major Britney-focused fansite, and you’d like to expand your Internet empire to cover the whole celeb gossip kingdom, now would really be the perfect time to shut down your Britney site, blame it on Britney’s loss of “identity and credibility,” and let gossip bloggers worldwide write about it, creating priceless hype for the project you hope to launch in the new year. Oh, someone already thought to do that? Damn. [The Blemish, World of Britney]

70% of Victoria Beckham’s weight is nipples. That’s nearly 35 pounds of nipples! [Agent Bedhead]

You know how, sometimes, you can be, like, a 100% heterosexual woman, and yet there are totally a handful of chicks you would probably have sex with? Yeah. Dita Von Teese. [Celebrity Smack]

Hey, Meg Ryan, your breasts are kind of like your career: they’re not just going to hold themselves up forever. [Cele|bitchy]

Christina Aguilera does a little drinkin’ herself. [Perez Hilton]

I’ve lost track of how many times Snoop Dogg’s been arrested this year. But add one. [TMZ]

Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler take a break from hating one another to get dinner at Mr. Chow’s. [Pop on the Pop]

Milla Jovovich? Still hot. [CelebSlam]

Gasp! One of the Gotti kids got arrested. [DListed]

Cameron Diaz can’t marry Justin Timberlake because she’s “commitment-phobic.” And certainly not because he hasn’t proposed. [HollyScoop]

Lindsay Lohan is in movies? Huh. [Pajiba]

Just for the record, I was into Regina Spektor before anybody. This song was on my MySpace page like a hundred years ago. Just so everyone knows. [BWE]