I remember the very first time I realized that Topher was a nickname for “Christopher.” Like, you just take the second half of the name instead of using “Chris.” That was an exciting moment for me. I felt like a genius. Like the time I realized the Wiltern got its name because it’s on the corner of Wilshire and Western. That was a big moment too. It’s hard to feel smart in a world filled with Bill Gateses and Stephen Hawkings, but somehow I seem to manage.

Anyway. Vanessa Minnillo is managing, too. She and Nick Lachey may be recently dunzo, but she’s in no hurry to quit theceleb dating scene. Radar spotted her sucking face with Spiderman 3 star Topher Grace at a recent party at Seth MacFarlane’s house:

Topher then started rubbing her arm, and Vanessa whispered in his ear and they exchanged phone numbers.

Before long they were on the dance floor and putting the “dirty” in dirty dancing. Vanessa took off her shoes and held them in one hand, wrapping her other arm around Topher’s neck and the next thing we knew she was kissing him on the neck!

In a bit of perfect timing the DJ spun ‘Sex on Fire’ by Kings of Leon and Vanessa turned her back to Topher, and did a super hot grind/dance while he played with her hair. The music switched to The Jackson Five’s ‘ABC’ and that’s when Vanessa and Nick, er Topher, (sorry, it’s so hard to make the transition, for us, not her) starting MAKING OUT right on the dance floor!

Total rebound relationship. I wonder who Nick Lachey will be hitting up now. Anyone have guesses?

First up, My girl, Kirsten Dunst. Sigh. For some odd reason I just adore her.. I know others don’t share my sentiments but they don’t know her like I do.

4 more pics after the break you cretins!

Okay, I’ll admit she has an odd smile. And here we get two versions of it!

Who the hell cares about Aunt May?
“Man, how was Spidey-3??”
“Awesome, I saw Aunt May!”
“Whoooooooooooooo!” (sound of crack being cooked up)

And then there was Topher. Am I supposed to say he looks good? I think he does. I like the suit. Someone with style can feel free to weigh in at any point.

Finally, I’m legally obligated to include Spidey himself, Tobey Maguire, a gent who has brought being awkward and tiny back. This is good news for guykind, it saves us time at the gym and social adeptness.

Also, I think they played the movie and it taught us that the good guy wins so long as he wears something lycra.