“Well, he’s hot. He’s cute, isn’t he? I had a sleep-over two nights ago and he came along. Quite young, for me. What d’you wanna know? How big his cock is? It’s very nice.”

The irrepressible Lily Allen, talking about her burgeoning relationship with dancer Tom Dinsdale, in a new interview.

Lily also opens up about her penchant for strip clubs: “I signed my publishing deal at Stringfellows and had a private dance. One of the naked ones. It was really embarrassing. It’s quite awkward if you’re not attracted to women, and I’m not. I went to Spearmint Rhino the other day actually, for six hours. I’ve had lap dances there. It’s fun. I like having a chat with the strippers.”

I totally feel her on this one. Despite being a decidedly heterosexual woman, I love strip clubs. I have so much fun getting lap dances and getting to know the strippers. This is going to sound weird, but it’s almost like a female bonding experience. I dig it. I’ve always been really comfortable in strip clubs and with strippers. Plus I can never sleep with a man without telling anyone who’ll listen what his cock’s like.

I hate that the more I learn about Lily Allen, the more I realize how similar we are.