Cameron Diaz was flirting her face off with some dude last night at Katie Holmes’ 31st birthday party in Seville and the paparazzi caught some really low-quality photos of it. TomKat (can we still say stuff like that?) were in town with Connor, Isabella and Suri while Tom was filming Knight & Day with Cameron. The Holmes-Cruise fam left last night to head back to the states after the party, but Cameron decided to hang back and chill in Spain for a little bit. I don’t know guys, from the looks of these pictures, she’s cruising for a little bit of a European fling. Maybe she’s feeling like that chick in that movie Under The Tuscan Sun? I never saw that movie, but I remember the trailer and I got the jist. What if Cameron Diaz and that dude fall in lust and have a crazy four and a half month affair that’s completely driven by their sexual desires and ends when they realize that they don’t really have much in common, it’s was just one of those weird physical chemistry things? That’d be pretty deep. I’d allow that.

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz have been filming Knight & Day in Sevilla, Spain and every day I log in to the photo agency sites to find photos for stories, and every day I see photos of the two of them “goofing around on set”. They’re usually dressed really well, sometimes Tom’s wife Katie Holmes brings their daughter Suri by the set, occasionally Cameron is caught flailing around like the spastic lady we all picture her to be. At this point it’s like, “I get it. You guys are rich and you make movies and people want to photograph that. Does anyone want to help me pay my phone bill?” Am I bitter? You fucking bet.

Then today I logged in to the photo sites and I saw this picture of Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise straddling each other on top of a Ducati, playing patty cake or whatever the hell it is that they’re doing and I just laughed. Just had to LOL at how absurd this lifestyle must be. Can you imagine being Cameron Diaz, sitting on top of a monstrously expensive hog in Spain, legs wrapped around the dude who jumped on Oprah’s couch and getting paid millions of dollars to do it? That’s just bizarro.

They’re so fortunate.

I know you’ve all been concerned, so I wanted to keep you updated on Boston’s weather.  It’s warmed up over the past few days, we even have a rose in full bloom out in the yard.  With the rising temperatures, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have decided to start putting little Suri in tights and long sleeves.  Expect wool sweater coats and cashmere leggings next June!

“We thought Tom [Cruise] was the biggest bore on the face of the Earth. He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, ‘You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?’ I mean, his lingo was larded with the most… There was no basis for it. It was like, ‘It’s a nice day, I’m glad there are no gay people standing here.’ Very, very strange. Years and years later when people started to torment him with that, I used to think ‘God, that’s really fitting, because he tormented a lot of people as a 20-year-old.’ He made such a big deal about it. Same thing with Eddie Murphy—I remember somebody calling and saying, ‘You’ll never guess who was just caught with a transvestite!’ [Laughs.] And I remember thinking that seemed fitting, because there are certain people in showbiz who make it an agenda, every third sentence has to have something knocking that life choice, and you think, ‘What are you doing?‘”

Bronson Pinchot, outing Tom Cruise as the homophobic that we’ve always known he is.

The Cruise clan headed out for a coffee in Boston last weekend and ended up with a gaggle of people following them around the streets. The internet is up in arms, not about a large group of pedestrians stalking a family (blame it on Xenu-phobia) but about the fact that in a few pictures, Suri is seen sipping from a Starbuck’s cup.

I’m not gonna go all ballistic Dr. Spock on this one. Maybe it’s a cup full of Starbucks’ delicious apple cider. Or maybe they just let her have a little sip to see how it tastes -that’s okay, right?

Or does this kid need a full-blown parenting intervention, stat? I hear Michael Lohan is looking for something to do.

It seemed like Family Weekend here in LA with celebrities ditching the nannies for a couple of days and actually like, hanging out with their kids. Even over in Cambridge, MA, Tom and Suri were playing in a lake together (which looks so photo-oppy, sadly.) The pumpkin patch seemed like the place to be with appearances by Heidi Klum and Hendy, Larry Birkhead and mini Anna Nicole and Christina Aguilera and Max. Also notable is Nicole Richie and a scrumptious looking Harlow (I wanted to eat the buns off her head) and Brian Austin Green taking his son Kassius bowling. As if having Brian Austin Green for a dad wasn’t hard enough, the poor kid has to be named something more suitable for a gay porn star, too.

As I mentioned yesterday, Tom Cruise is Boston filming Wichita with Cameron Diaz. Today some photos were taken of the actor joy riding on a Massachusetts Highway Patrol motorcycle sans helmet, looking all kinds of crazy in the face. Yes, I am positive that this shot was taken before they were filming and not for a scene, and I’m pretty sure that riding a motorcycle without a helmet is not only illegal in Massachusetts, but very very dangerous. Why the father of three thought it would be a good idea to take on such a big bike with out any protection (and no, his experience on other bikes is no excuse as far as I’m concerned) is beyond me, but so are most of the things this actor has done for the past decade or so. I also have to wonder who the cop was who handed the bike over to Cruise and whether or not these photos are going to get him in any trouble.

Tom should just stick to jumping on couches when he wants a thrill.