RadarOnline is reporting that Gisele Bundchen is expecting a little quarterback or cheerleader.  Not surprising, actually.  You know Gisele is going to have about five kids in less than seven years, at least one set of twins, all whilst maintaining her size zero figure.  Perfection is such a drag.

Let’s think about this:  When Brangelina announced that they went into the lab and had created a DNA hybrid named Shiloh, I couldn’t fathom a more perfect mix could exist — until now.  Can you imagine what this child will look like?  It’s clear that the kid will probably be about five feet tall at birth.

This will be Tom’s second child.  He has an almost two-year-old with Bridget Moynihan.  Come to think of it, this will also be a second child for Gisele since she considers Tom and Bridget’s kid to feel like her own.

Congrats to the happy, genetically blessed, slightly annoying couple!

Oh what fun!

FUN FUN FUN!

Gisele Bundchen’s on her honeymoon with Tom Brady in Vancouver. Why would people with all the money in the world go on honeymoon in Vancouver and not, say, Fiji? Well, because Bridget Moynahan is filming a movie there, and I assume she’s got custody of that kid something like 95% of the time, and you better believe she enforces that mess. But for the two hours of the day that Tom has little John in his custody, he and Gisele made damn sure the photogs got snaps of them being such good parents.

I’ll reiterate exactly what Bridget planted in the press last month: You never see pictures of her with that baby. And whenever Tom and Gisele have the baby, the photogs are somehow right there and ready to snap away. Coincidence? No.

They’re so in love that they got married twice. Now that’s devotion.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen exchanged vows in a short sunset ceremony at her home in Costa Rica early Saturday evening, PEOPLE has learned. The bride, in a long designer dress and a veil that trailed 10 feet, and holding a bouquet of white orchids, “looked so gorgeous,” a source tells PEOPLE. “She looked beautiful.”

Security guards blocked off key access points to Bündchen’s house in Santa Teresa, where 25 or so guests gathered under a tent set up on the home’s balcony.

After the ceremony, Brady, 31, in a gray suit and vest with white pants, held his 1 ½-year-old son John on the balcony and spoke with guests like Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots. Bündchen, 28, also hugged guests while friends and relatives snapped photos.

Eh, I’m so bored of the story of these two. I’m done with the lovey-dovey and I’m ready for them to go down in flames. I’m ready to find out that she’s cheating on him with Leonardo DiCaprio. (Wow, now that’s a name I haven’t typed out in awhile — what happened to that dude?) When I read that Gisele had a 10-foot train, my first thought was, “Oooh, I wish she’d tripped on it!”

Bridget Moynahan and I should totally do lunch.

Gisele is Harper Bazaar’s cover story for April and she had some interesting things to say about her new hubby, Tom Brady. 

In the cover story of Harper Bazaar’s April issue, Bundchen says Tom Brady, her new husband, is “very naive, almost like a child.”

“One thing that I thought was so amazing when I first met him is that he is innocent,” she adds. “He sees the world with colored glasses. He’s very strong and focused in his job, but he’s so sensitive.”

Awww. That is so cute. Tom Brady basically just got labeled “pretty, but dumb” by a supermodel who gets paid to just stand still and look nice. Brady always struck me as a bit of dumb jock, and this confirms my suspicions. He’s like a real-life Mike Kelso. Between those huge hazel eyes there’s nothin’ but space….and maybe a few throwing routes.

On Thursday, Tom Brady married the woman he left his pregnant girlfriend for, Gisele Bundchen. It was thoughtful of them to not make their wedding a gigantic press circus, but I feel compelled to continually remind everyone that Bridget Moynahan was pregnant when Tom Brady ditched her for a supermodel.

The bride, 28, donned a form-fitting ivory lace strapless gown with a trumpet skirt, scalloped edges, long train and a floor-length veil with attached handmade satin roses and attached satin headband, all by Dolce & Gabbana. Her three dogs also wore matching Dolce & Gabbana floral lace collars …

The ceremony — which began at dusk — was “very small and intimate,” a source tells Us, adding that guests mostly consisted of immediate family. Brady’s son with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan, John Edward Thomas Moynahan, was also present.

The couple tied the knot at St. Monica Catholic Church in Santa Monica. I know I’m a Jew girl and stuff, but I’ve been there for mass a few times (long story) and not only is it a gorgeous church, it’s great for celeb-spotting! If you’re even in LA and you want to pray with the stars, head on over to St. Monica … well, that is, if you’ve already hit up the Kabbalah Center and the Scientology building …

Congrats to Tom and Gisele, I suppose.

Hi guys.

If you can believe it, after spending the past two days outside in a blizzard, I am sick today. I know, I know. I’m shocked too. Plus it’s Friday and it’s the day after Christmas and traffic is ridiculously low anyway and no one is even reading this so I could just go ahead and confess about my third nipple and no one would even know. Seriously though I feel like ass, so this is probably the last post of the day. Not that you care because you’re not reading this anyway. Did I mention my five labia piercings? Okay really though if you do have a third nipple can you get it pierced? Does anyone do that? Are there pictures on the Internet? Links please.

Oh and Tom Brady is engaged to Gisele Bundchen. You know, the chick he left his pregnant girlfriend for awhile back? Because let’s not forget that he left a pregnant girlfriend. Because he did. He proposed to Gisele on Christmas Eve, on a private jet that took off from Teterboro Airport in New Jersey and landed in Boston. There were four dozen white roses on board, as well as champagne. Oh and Gisele’s parents were there, too. So no pressure. Gisele said yes. MERRY CHRISTMAS BRIDGET MOYNAHAN!

Okay back to bed for my sick ass.

Yup, it’s Gisele Bundchen, that chick Tom Brady dumped you for after he knocked you up, holding your newborn child!

Oh, yay, yay, yay!!!!