Tobey Maguire, his wife Jennifer and their kids went to Mr. Bone’s Pumpkin Patch in Los Angeles today (and thankfully this fucking Halloween bullshit will be over before we know it because I’ve about had it up to here with looking at pictures of famous people and their dumb babies picking out pumpkins.) They looked like a normal family (except of course for the fact that they were being photographed the whole time), down to dad awkwardly pushing a huge stoller and their little girl picking her nose and pouting. Really, what’s more American than that?

Tobey Maguire’s mother and brother are set to star in a reality show of their own.  Growing Up Maguire will focus on his mom Wendy as she shields her 15-year-old — Tobey’s brother Weston is into motocross and snowboarding — from the evil glare of Hollywood.  Does a reality show about protecting your kid from fame seem a little counter-intuitive?

And in news that blew my crown chakra to the ceiling, Amy Winehouse’s father is releasing an album of Sinatra covers.  Yep, taxi driver Mitch Winehouse — that portly babe is pictured above — has decided to try and get into the music biz after seeing how well it has treated his daughter.  He’s been working on this record for a while now, no word on a release date.

Do people care about the irrelevant relatives of famous people?  I don’t think we have to look any further than the nine episodes of Living Lohan to answer that question.

Actor Tobey Maguire and wife Jennifer Meyer welcomed a new little face to the family this Saturday.

“I can confirm the Maguires had a baby boy today and the family is healthy and happy,” Maguire’s rep tells Us Weekly.

The couple, who tied the knot in 2007, are also parents to 2-year-old daughter Ruby Sweetheart.

I just thought I’d remind you that they named their daughter Ruby Sweetheart. Like you could forget.

The name of the new baby boy hasn’t been released, but one can only hope that this time the couple will decide upon a name that does not sound like either a Racehorse or a character from Rainbow Brite. Or a stripper. Or a variety of grapefruit.

So the Spiderman protagonist has been asked to shoot Spidermans 4 and 5 in a single six-month period (back-to-back), and he agreed — granted he got mornings and evenings off to spend with his 22-month-old daughter, Ruby Sweetheart.

Maguire was willing to shoot Spider-Man 4 and 5 back-to-back over six months next year but insisted he should take early mornings and evenings off so he could play with his “favourite blonde”, Ruby Sweetheart, who is 22 months old.

The 33-year-old actor is expected to earn a record $50m salary and profit shares from the two films, substantially more than Keanu Reeves earned when he shot the last two Matrix films back-to-back. Reeves complained that it left him exhausted.

Awww, adorableness!

What a good papa!

Tobey Maguire and wife Jennifer Meyer take little Ruby Sweetheart out for a stroll in West Hollywood.

Ruby is very interested in her hands.

And the tank top tucked into the jeans that Jennifer’s rocking? I actually really like that look. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I think it’s because I have stomach envy. I mean, some women store fat in their arms, some women store it in their legs, some in their butt. I store fat in my stomach. It’s like my body’s Fort Knox of fat. No matter what I do, I can’t lose my tummy fat. Thus I could never look cute like that. Maybe that’s why I like that look so much.

Is it just me or are there a ridiculous amount of celebrity pregnancies right now? There’s either something in the air or the price of condoms has gone up.

Congrats to Tobey Maguire and wife Jennifer Meyer, who are reportedly expecting their second child in October.

Says a pal: “Since they already have a daughter, they would love a little boy, but of course they would be just as thrilled with another daughter.”

According to the friend, Jen and Tobey plan to have at least three children, and are currently building a mansion in Brentwood to house them all. The lot alone cost $10M!!!! Of course, Tobey has all that crazy Spiderman money, but keep in mind that Jen is the daughter of Ron Meyer, President and CEO of Universal, so she’s not exactly hurting for cash, either. In fact, she may well be worth more than Tobey!

Congrats, you crazy rich kids!

It’s about time!

Tobey married his longtime girlfriend, and the mother of his nine-month-old baby, on Monday night in Hawaii.

Their family — including Jennifer’s dad, Ron Meyer, the President of Universal — was there, along with Tobey’s buddy Leonardo DiCaprio.

Best of luck to the happy couple! May they outlast Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams!

First up, My girl, Kirsten Dunst. Sigh. For some odd reason I just adore her.. I know others don’t share my sentiments but they don’t know her like I do.

4 more pics after the break you cretins!

Okay, I’ll admit she has an odd smile. And here we get two versions of it!

Who the hell cares about Aunt May?
“Man, how was Spidey-3??”
“Awesome, I saw Aunt May!”
“Whoooooooooooooo!” (sound of crack being cooked up)

And then there was Topher. Am I supposed to say he looks good? I think he does. I like the suit. Someone with style can feel free to weigh in at any point.

Finally, I’m legally obligated to include Spidey himself, Tobey Maguire, a gent who has brought being awkward and tiny back. This is good news for guykind, it saves us time at the gym and social adeptness.

Also, I think they played the movie and it taught us that the good guy wins so long as he wears something lycra.

Sarah Michelle Gellar: pregnant or fat? [INO]

Cammy Diaz nabs herself some Tyrese. [Cele|bitchy]

Premiere becomes the latest magazine to bid adieu to its print version, plans to focus efforts on online operations. [fishbowlLA]

Hey, guess who’s still freakin’ adorable? The Jolie-Pitt family! [ICYDK]

Also cute: TomKat and Suri, back on the intramural sports circuit. [dlisted]

Courtney Love breaks the big story that there was cocaine at Paris Hilton’s birthday party. We get it, Courtney. You’re sober now. But do you really have to ruin it for everyone else? [Warship]

Tobey Maguire and Jennifer Meyer take little Ruby Sweetheart into the ocean. Nude. (She’s nude, not them.) [POTP]

Pics from Liz Hurley’s wedding. [Allie]

ScarJo puts on her very ugliest dress for the Louis Vuitton show. Hair and shoes to match. [SOW]

One billion pics from the NAACP Image Awards. [PopSugar]

Also … a VERY SPECIAL thanks to Joy A. at Pop on the Pop for giving Evil Beet a shout-out in her Mediabistro interview. We love ya, Joy, and we love reading POTP!

TomKat and Suri the Fake Baby (looking fake as can be), arrive in Rome for the contractually mandated wedding of the century. [Glitterati]

Leann Rimes sides with Faith Hill on the whole Carrie-Underwood-sucks issue. Classy. [Tabloid Whore]

Holy crap, stop the presses. Jude and Sienna broke up. For the eight billionth time. I honestly do not remember them getting back together. I’m sure I wrote about it, but I have some sort of Jude-Sienna mental filter that keeps that sort of info from sticking. I’m glad of it. [The Superficial]

This constant stream of Anna Nicole stories makes me want to mix methadone with antidepressants, too. The power company pulled the plug on her place in the Bahamas yesterday. [Allie is Wired]

Vogue doesn’t want pictures of Britney Spears’ baby. Not even for free. Damn. [HGW]

A little treat for the straight guys who stop by on occasion/accident: Alessandra Ambrosia photo explosion over at CelebSlam. [CelebSlam]

Joley Richardson quits Nip/Tuck. She’s hoping to be cast in a show with more plausible plotlines, possibly something involving giant, mutant, hermaphoditic aphids who eat Koreans and occasionally find themselves in awkward love triangles including the wife of their college roommate. [HGW]

Beyonce and Eva Longoria will be getting all lesbo on the big screen. Where will you be, Paul Reuebens? [Bossip]

Someone asked me the other day how Kate Moss is still so employable, even after the whole cocaine scandal. This is a link to a black-and-white video of Kate Moss, wearing lingerie and saying quiet, mysterious things. More of you will click on this link than any other in this group, probably by a factor of three. And that, my friends, is how Kate Moss is still so employable, even after the whole cocaine scandal. [Agent Bedhead]

In a shocking twist to the Kevin Federline saga, he demands Grey Goose in his dressing room. Check out the rest of the hospitality rider. [CelebSlam]

If Brad Pitt smokes, it must be cool. [Teddy and Moo]

Actor Jack Palance dies. [Hollyweird Gazette]