Tila is responding to the rumors that she’s not really bi on her blog.

ohhhh God dear lord have mercy! I BARELY just got back from a 15 hour flight from Australia and the minute I land there is a TON of media lies about me out! Today NEW YORK POST “PAGE SIX” wrote an article about me full of LIES! …

First of all, let me just say that whomever they are getting their “sources” from needs to be fired real fast! I find it absolutely absurd that they would even make such an ignorant statement such as ” She’s made out with some girls in her past, as all girls have, but she is not bi at all.”

That is such an absurd stereotype to place on all women and it just shows people how ignorant people can be! The thing that made me laugh the most and how you can tell the “source” was lying was because how they talk about me so called having a boyfriend and they said “He’s like….5 years older then her” Just look at the way they talk about it. Apparently these are made up rumors. People are really silly to have so much time on their hands to call up newspapers and make up lies. Second of all….how could I always be “late” when I could never leave on the first place??? We filmed at MY reality house so that means that I lived in the house with everyone else. I was never allowed to leave….ever…not even to meet up with friends for lunch! That’s the way it worked. The producers wanted the contestants and I to be really engaged in each other so they thought it would be best that I never leave or have contact with the outside world! HELLLOOO! Arriving late…pshhhh…my ass! Another funny thing was how they said I never even talk to contestants between takes. Can we say “HA HA HA?” because there were no “TAKES” seeing how it’s a reality show. They producers just keep filming us as we go live and then they take all the footage to edit the episodes….so there’s not any time for “RE-TAKES” you think all the girlfights and our crying was shot like more than once? I think not, and if that were the case then DAMN….where are our Academy Awards for our fabulous acting skills??? Pfffft!

You know what? People can say whatever they want about me. My whole life I have been judged so that’s nothing new to me so I don’t feel the need to justify my sexuality to anyone! One minute, back in the day when I was still modeling, people talked shit about me for being “lesbian” for shooting sexy pictures with other females and now I’m too “straight” come one….who’s really the confused one here? Definitely not me! HA!

Love
T

Well knock me over with a feather.

It looks like this whole Tila-Tequila-is-bi thing may have been an awful, awful ruse.

Shocking!!!!!!! (Right.)

Says an inside source:

“Tila has and has had a boyfriend for over a year, and she’s not really bi. She’s made out with some girls in her past, as all girls have, but she is not bi at all. [She has a boyfriend] who’s like five years older than her. This is a massive scam . . . That’s why they are not continuing with the show [for a second season], because she won’t dump him. She arrives late and doesn’t talk to any of the contestants between takes. She complains she has too much going on.”

I’m soooooo disappointed, Tila.

I don’t even know what to make of this. My head’s kind of exploding right now.

Paris Hilton.

David Hasselhoff.

Matthew Perry.

Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge.

Rumer Willis.

Lacey Chabert.

Tila Tequila.

Lydia Hearst.

Aubrey O’Day.

Aubrey O’Day’s extensions.

Cory Kennedy. (Everyone’s favorite teenage heroin addict!)

I don’t even know which joke to make first. It’s overwhelming!!! I want to write an entire short story about this night!! Or film a season of The Surreal Life!

Were they holding an AA meeting afterwards? Are you even allowed to attend AA meetings if your last name’s Tequila? Honestly, the only thing this all-star team was missing was its group counselor.

Or did attendance count as some manner of community service?

I just don’t understand!

A couple other points:

1) Paris Hilton needs to never wear a jumpsuit like that again. In fact, the whole world needs to never wear a jumpsuit like that again. We need to start flying planes over third-world countries and dropping pamphlets with a variety of pictographic instructions informing them that no one, anywhere, ever, is to wear a jumpsuit like that ever again.

2) Rumer Willis’s hair is back to brunette. And it’s curly now. Not, like, a luxurious curl. More of an I-didn’t-realize-I-wasn’t-supposed-to -have-the-blow-dryer-in-the-bathtub curl.

Everyone’s favorite MySpace slut is coming to MTV in the country’s very first bi-sexual dating show.

Is it the world’s very first bi-sexual dating show? I’m not sure. Perhaps another country beat us to the punch. Leave it to France, I bet.

Anyway, the show will be called A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, and debuts October 9.

It’ll work like any other dating show, except 16 of the contestants will be straight or bisexual men, and 16 will be lesbian or bisexual women.

Her singing career didn’t work out so well. So it’s nice to see Tila returning to her roots: whoring herself out for publicity.

Want more? Be sure to check out our nip slip gallery and our crotch shot gallery.