As it turns out, there is a website called Who Celebs Tweet that will show Twitter feeds between any two people.  I’d like to show you the feed of Tweets that have occurred between Tila Tequila and Shawne Merriman — specifically, the fifth entry down where Miss Tila “I’m allergic to alcohol” Tequila tells her boyfriend she’s drunk.  As I mentioned earlier today, Shawne Merriman denies abusing TT, and the famewhore replied back, denying that she drinks.

Fuck you, Tila Tequila.  Fuck. You.  You’re a liar and you are a shame to the female gender.  Levying a false accusation like that, beyond causing potential ruin to another person, makes others less likely to come forward for fear of not being believed.

Thank you to Amy Grindhouse for helping confirm what I think I secretly knew all along:  Tila was hoping to get Rihanna-level attention by crafting this imaginary drama.

I’m pretty sure that most of you are aware of my feelings about Tila Tequila at this point.  Just based on her Twitter activity that I’ve observed, she’s carried on about having people break into her house, she said she was pregnant, she said she had to go to the hospital because she was about to pass out.  Nothing ever materializes from these statements she puts out.  

Putting that aside, I was very sad to hear about the alleged abuse she suffered over the weekend at the hands of her boyfriend, San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman.  Even talentless famewhores don’t deserve to suffer at the hands of another — not Tila, not even Mischa.  And though I feel she may be truth-challenged, I’d never want to turn my back on a victim, especially one brave enough to come forward.

Today, there seems to be a new angle to the story — an angle which basically equates to “It never happened.”  Merriman was released and no charges have been filed.  He released a statement through Fox News:

“On September 6, 2009 the San Diego Sheriff’s Department responded to a citizen’s complaint that was initiated by Tila Nguyen (aka Tila Tequila). I was taken into custody based upon that complaint. At the time, I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided.

“We would all do our best to help a friend if we considered their actions to be detrimental to their personal safety. I in no way caused any harm to Ms. Nguyen, however, paramedics were called and she was examined but no injuries were reported. She was released and has since returned to Los Angeles, California.

“There have been no charges filed against me. I want to thank the San Diego Sheriff’s Department for their professionalism. I will continue to cooperate fully with the Department, and I look forward to clearing my name regarding these false allegations. I want to put this behind me so I can continue to focus on a successful season for the San Diego Chargers.”

Tila rebutted Shawne’s version of events (through her Twitter account, natch), saying “”I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila “Tequila” cuz the irony. I cant drink.”

I don’t know who’s lying, but I hope the truth comes out in the end.  Domestic abuse is wrong on every level as is a false accusation of domestic violence.

I know there are more than a few of you who’ve wished someone would smack the crap out of Tila Tequila. But I doubt any of you meant it literally.

The actress singer umm.. American citizen (it seems harsh to call her an internet fame whore when you’re writing about domestic violence) was hospitalized Sunday after an altercation with her boyfriend, San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman.

The two had been hanging out at a club all night for a friend’s birthday party and seemed in good spirits. But something went sour after they went home.

The San Diego Sheriff’s Department received a disturbance call from Tila “Tequila” Nguyen at 3:45 a.m. She told deputies she had been choked by Merriman and, when she tried to leave, he physically restrained her, a sheriff’s spokesman said.

Nguyen, 27, signed a citizen’s arrest warrant accusing the NFL linebacker of battery and false imprisonment.

Merriman is currently being held at the San Diego County jail. Tila’s rep declined to comment on her current condition.

Poor Lady Gaga’s chest exploded whilst performing at the 20th Annual MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto, Canada.

Also there was Audrina Patridge in a cheap and ill-fitting dress, my fiance Bradley Cooper and the pure Jonas Brothers.  Oh, and I’m totally willing to support Kelly Clarkson in this whole body-acceptance thing she’s got going on, but there must be compromise.  No.  More.  Scarf.  Tops.

Rumer Willis appeared with her chin and Tila Tequila was positively stumped over the one-button operation of the Flip Mino HD camera.

Finally, in an admirable effort of frugality, Kim Kardashian fashioned her dress out of one of the extra costumes used by Fergie’s backup dancers.

Tila Tequila is a special kind of whore.

(SFW… I guess.)

Guys, I seriously don’t know how I can resist this.  It’s like God has sent a Priority Mail message directly to me.  Tila Tequila is in Boston this weekend.  That’s a lie, actually.  She’s not in Boston, she’s in Quincy — an outlying suburb.  I’m trying to determine if she’s worth the 45 minute drive and seven dollars worth of gas for me to go confront her.  I’m feeling like I need to go to Marina Bay, the club she’s appearing at, and ask her why she’s doing paid appearances since being famous means nothing to her.  I don’t know — what do you think?

If I go, I’m totally bringing my Flip so I can videotape this.  Now, I must leave you so I can go research just how quickly I can have a t-shirt printed that reads “Dumbass hoe.”  Oh, and I’m bringing an actual hoe and a hand mirror with me so I can explain the difference.

This is what happens when I’m left unattended too long.

I was on Twitter last night and I saw Tila Tequila whining about how she’s blocking anyone who asks her about Shot at Love.  Okay, let’s be honest here — Tila Tequila doesn’t have over 127,000 followers because of the humanitarian work she does in war-torn Sierra Leone.  People know her, and are interested in her (I guessssss…) because of the two seasons she did of Shot at Love.  And because I was left unattended too long I decided to point out that seemingly obvious fact to her.

Tila responded by calling me a “Dumbass hoe.”  If you aren’t familiar with that term, it means that I am the least intelligent of all garden tools.  Apparently, she didn’t appreciate my perspective.  Story.  Of.  My.  Life.