As it was originally reported, some random crazy lady approached and began choking Simon Cowell’s ex but not ex girlfriend Terri Seymour after Tuesday night’s American Idol.  Now the nut (who is still in jail with a $52,000 bail around her neck) has been given an opportunity to explain why she put her hands around a stranger’s neck.  And as expected, it’s all Simon’s fault.

I wasn’t cool with Simon Cowell choking Paula Abdul on the show last week and with her crying-out ‘help’ as he did so.  Nobody said anything about that so I wanted to confront him about it because that is not appropriate behavior, is it?

She [Seymour] was taking some photographs with her camera and I knew she was his girlfriend so I went up to her to tell her how I felt. We started arguing and then I put my hands around her neck and started choking her just like Simon had done with Paula.  Then I walked away and I was tackled by the police but I don’t regret what I did because of what Simon did to Paula, nobody seemed to care about that.

Alrighty.  If you ever encounter a woman named Janice Thibodeaux, 33 years old, 5′8″ and weighing 200 pounds, run the other way.  But the best part of this story?  The (alleged!) perpetrator used to be a security guard on…American Idol.

Here’s what Simon has to say about his recent split from longtime girlfriend Terri Seymour:

“She wants a different path in life, and I totally respect her for it. We will be the best of mates, but I think in relationships, you have to be totally honest. I have always been and I know Terri knows that … I find women confusing really. When you hook up and date, you’re both honest about what you want. I have never ever said that I want children or marriage. I know some people find it hard to fathom, but it’s me, it’s who I am. Bottom line is I am married to my job. When people moan about been a celebrity, I think ‘Oh please, sort yourself out – it’s the greatest job in the world.’ I wake up daily thanking my lucky stars, but to throw marriage into that mix is not right. I have seen too many celebrity marriages that on paper make a great mix, fall apart through ego and just plain celebrity madness .. There is no one new in my life. I can honestly say some of my best friends are girls, but we’re not dating, and that is that. Forget any lurid tabloid headlines. Myself and Terri will remain firm friends. We’re grown ups.”

Fabulous. Now I get to resume not caring about Simon Cowell until he’s caught sucking face with Paula Abdul for the contact high.

Simon Cowell and his long-time girlfriend Terri Seymour have called it quits. Or more appropriately, she dumped him. Simon’s rep, Max Clifford, confirmed to People:

Terri phoned Simon and finished it in September, about six weeks ago.  They are going to remain close friends. Simon thinks the world of Terri and that isn’t going to change. He also understands her reason for ending it.  In the past Terri has said that she wants kids but that just isn’t Simon. 

He’s always said he never wanted kids.  Why do women always think they can change a guy’s mind?  And just once, it would be so great for a spokesperson to say “Yes, they’ve broken up.  No, they won’t be friends.  She’s pissed at him for wasting six years of her life.”

Check out this little video of Extra’s Terri Seymour (who also happens to be Simon Cowell’s longtime girlfriend) interviewing Ryan Seacrest at a Details magazine party.

She’s basically trying to get him to admit that he’s banging Holly Huddleston from Sunset Tan, which is Hollywood’s worst-kept secret these days, but he refuses to do it.

Watch at the very end, when Ryan says to Terri — under his breath and without moving his lips — “Sorry about that.”

Interesting.

Honestly, my undying allegiance goes to anyone who walks the red carpet with a pack of Camels and a Bic in his hand.

Here’s the love of my life, Simon Cowell, with girlfriend Terri Seymour at Elton John’s Oscar party.

Love it, love it, love it.