Gwyneth Paltrow and others appeared last night at the grand opening of Fontainebleau Miami Beach.  What is going on with Gwyn?  Let’s be fair: there are some things you have no control over.  Breasts that extend from the bottom of your ribcage up to your collarbone?  Nothing you can do about that; that’s God’s cruel joke.  But the dress, completely unrelated shoes and reverse skunk stripe of roots all could have been thwarted by any compassionate stylist.  Or full length mirror. 

Sixty-seven year old Martha Stewart was there as well.  I don’t know if it was prison or surgery or what but she still looks terrific.  I included pics of Jason Lewis because don’t we all deserve a little visual handjob?  And in the case of Terrence Howard, the answer is yes; the pants were also printed jacquard.  Ya.

Oh, and when you look at the pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio, just know that she had a baby less than three months ago.  And also know that I’m typing this post from my elliptical machine and have sworn off food.

It hasn’t been going too well for Terrence Howard lately.  First, he was replaced in the Iron Man sequel.  Now he has been slapped with a $5 million lawsuit.  Composer Tex Allen, brother of choreographer Debbie, alleges that Terrence assaulted him while they were working together on Broadway’s Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.  According to the lawsuit, Allen was punched repeatedly in the face by Howard and the incident ruined his ability to play piano.  I’m not saying it’s right to punch someone but five million dollars?

From Page Six:

BOOTYLICIOUS Kim Kardashian has a new man. The beauty has been out on the town with hunky actor Terrence Howard, who is separated from his wife of 14 years. A spy spotted the star of the new E! reality show, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” arriving and “making out” with Howard at Tenjune and then Butter last week. “They were all over each other,” snitched the onlooker. “She was sitting on his lap and he was rubbing her butt.” A rep for Howard declined to comment.

Separated from his wife of 14 years? Someone’s taking moves straight outta the Paris Hilton playbook.

BTW, Terrence Howard plays the male lead in the new Jodie Foster film, The Brave One, which I saw last night and found to be terribly disappointing. It just didn’t work on so many levels, which is sad, because I was really excited for it. Oh well. Anyone else see it and feel differently?