Holy shit!

Teri Hatcher looks like she ate at some point this year!!

She’s still quite slender, but I’m finally not afraid she’s going to snap in half. This is a much better look for her. She has curves and tone and definition. She looks like a woman and not a pre-pubescent boy. Whatever she’s doing, I hope she keeps at it.

At a benefit for the Lou Ruzo Center in Las Vegas.

Richard Hayes Stone, the uncle who Teri Hatcher accused of molesting her as a child, has died in prison of colon cancer.

He was serving a 14-year sentence for the molestation of a California teen, Sarah Van Cleemput. Sarah shot herself in the head in 2002 at the age of 14, leaving behind a note that said “You’re probably thinking that a normal teenager doesn’t do this; well, ask Dick.”

When Teri heard about the story, she told authorities her story of molestation by the same man, and that was all they needed to put him in prison, where he just died.

You won’t be missed around here, asshole.

Marcia Cross has responded to the nude pics of her floating around the ‘Net by throwing herself into charity work.

This weekend, she read to kids at a charity fundraiser.

And on Monday, she and Teri Hatcher stuffed FEED bags, which I guess will somehow help provide food for African children for one year.

I assume they are selling the bags and then using the profits to feed the African children, because I really don’t think what starving African children need right now are Godiva and CDs.

“I think she’s very classic and beautiful, and she dresses her age, which is really nice. Because I’m 17, and you always see—without mentioning any names—girls around my age trying so hard to look older and trying so hard…I learn a lot from her about embracing your beauty for what you are.”

Andrea Bowen, talking about Teri Hatcher, at a party celebrating the actress’s new Badgley Mischka campaign.

The Olsen Twins and their creepy Shining-style ads are out, Teri Hatcher is in!

Hatcher is this season’s new face of Badgley Mischka.

“She’s a beautiful, smart woman, and I think our customer can relate to her,” said Mark Badgley.

Really? Does anyone even watch Desperate Housewives anymore? I couldn’t care less about Teri Hatcher, and I certainly don’t relate to her.

Lance and Reichen had a love that could have lasted a lifetime … if it weren’t for some dude from Real World: Denver. [ICYDK]

Mischa and Cisco had a love that could have lasted a lifetime … if it weren’t for that picture of his gigantic testicles that made the Internet rounds. [Cele|bitchy]

Breaking: Angelina Jolie is thin. [The Bosh]

Yeah, okay, so Tori Spelling’s like 20 months pregnant, but is that really any excuse to look like Kirstie Alley? [The Blog You Love to Hate]

Blah blah blah … Ryan O’Neal … blah blah son drunk … blah blah blah pregnant girlfriend battered … blah blah blah … Gloria Allred? Jesus. [TMZ]

Will Nicky Hilton face actual consequences for her participation in her sister’s bigoted video projects? Maybe. You know who won’t face actual consequences? Paris. Ever. [MollyGood]

• Eminem’s trying to work out the details of his divorce from Kim Mathers. Again.
• Scarlett Johansson loves being curvy, and she doesn’t want to change a thing about herself. Which is totally fine, but it would be nice if she could change the character she plays every once in awhile.
• Teri Hatcher has very expensive THO. According to the Desperate Housewives star, during the show’s first season, the producers spent thousands of dollars digitally erasing her nipples. For the love of Christ, will someone please run her picture this week? Next thing you know, she’ll be running to the press with some story about how she was sexually molested as a child. What’s that? Oh.
• “The One Where Joey Represents Himself in Divorce Proceedings with His Estranged Wife”

• Wait, what? Drugs might be involved in the death of Anna Nicole Smith’s son? Surely you jest.