Who’s that blond puking in the bushes in Central Park? No, it’s not a homeless woman or even a misguided hipster still lost on their way home to Williamsburg from last night’s epic PBR bender. Nope, it’s Gossip Girl’s Taylor Momsen, who despite clearly feeling under the weather was on set today filming scenes in the park. While the 16 year old who’s notorious for her wild and sexy outfits and love of the nightlife could just have a bug, you can’t help but wonder if this little puke sesh was the result of a late night partying.

Taylor Momsen struts her stuff while filming an episode of Gossip Girl in NYC. You know what, bitches? My legs were than thin when I was 16, too. And the drugs I was doing weren’t half as potent as the shit I’m sure Taylor’s getting her hands on. SO THERE.

I’ve talked before about Gossip Girl’s Taylor Momsen and how I believe that she’s headed for disaster.  She’s 16 and way too young to be working the clubs.  I can’t help it — it’s the mother in me.  I want to wrap her in a blanket and enroll her in some college classes.  Also, because of her age, I tread carefully.  She’s still just a kid even if she, her mother and her entire management team don’t remember that.

An E! reporter asked her about her fashion choices backstage at the G-Star Raw show this week:

“I don’t care.  I think if everyone’s going to be so upset about what I’m wearing, I’m like, ‘well, maybe you should look at your life a little more. I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with mine.’  Music inspires me.  Fashion means everything. I mean, it’s art. Art means everything to me, so fashion’s another side of it. It’s expression, it’s music, it’s a way of showing and really being who you are in your own way that no one can take away from you.”

Garter belts and thigh highs on a 16 year old doesn’t feel like art to me; it feels criminal.

About 24 hours ago, I wrote about Taylor Momsen’s newest interview with Teen Vogue in which she said that she can’t relate to people her own age.  I cannot lie:  I thought Taylor was about 20 until I read that article.  She turned 16 this past weekend, making her eight months younger than Miley Cyrus.

Remember when everyone was upset at the Vanity Fair pics in which Miley was wrapped in a sheet and looking slightly ravished?  Or the one of her and her dad that made them look a little bit like they belonged on an eHarmony banner?  

Why is no one this upset over Taylor Momsen’s completely age-inappropriate actions?  Why is no one wondering where this child’s parents are?  She’s sixteen, can’t relate to her own age group, has had lots of boyfriends, and last night was on a stage wearing a black lace bra and hot pink negligee.  Is this okay?  Have times just changed so much that, as long as you aren’t under contract to Disney, this is acceptable?

Finally, is there some pre-admission paperwork that can be done for Momsen’s stint at Betty Ford?  Because it is going to happen at some point.  I know you can’t apply broad brush strokes to every teen, but this one seems textbook.  It’s as if her troubled, fast lane, headed-for-disaster life is unfolding right before our eyes.

Gossip Girl’s Taylor Momsen is on the cover of August’s Teen Vogue.  Wait — Teen Vogue is still in print?  Apparently so.

Anyway, Momsen explains that even though she’s only 16-years-old, she’s much older on an intellectual level.  ”I live a very adult life.  I have two different careers; I’m on tour.  What am I going to do, hang out with high school kids? I just can’t relate to what they talk about – it seems so petty.” 

Momsen also talks about all the relationships she’s been in even though she should be a sophmore in high school (she graduated two years early).  “I’m not dating anyone right now, but I’ve had lots of relationships. My parents know that I’m not going to date someone who’s sixteen. Boys are so much less mature than girls as it is.  I would eat a boy my age alive.”

Taylor admits to modeling since age two, even though she’s quick to say that she wasn’t pushed into it (I know I let my toddlers make all their own career decisions).  However, music seems to be her passion as she fronts band Pretty Reckless.  Thankfully, she has been able to blaze her own path creatively and didn’t end up being Hannah Montana — a role that she was in the final stages of auditions for.  “I think it’s a great opportunity for Miley [Cyrus], but yeah, I guess I am relieved [that I didn't get it]. If I had gotten the part, it would be a very different show. It wouldn’t have worked for me. I push back.”

It seems sad to be so “adult” and jaded at the age of 16.  It’s a long, damn life and sixteen is supposed to be about boys and eye shadow and hoping you’re not pregnant.  Isn’t it?

Taylor Momsen rocks the uber-ripped jeans at Zootopia over the weekend.

I don’t understand why such a cute little girl insists on looking like a crackhead all the time.

Congrats to Taylor Momsen, whose rock band, Pretty Reckless, has been signed to Interscope Records and management firm DAS — both HUGE names in the business with long histories of success.

“Rock singer/songwriters like Taylor don’t come around very often. Taylor is an artist with a genuine voice and a unique point of view. DAS is proud to add her to the list of superstar artists that have been managed by our company,” says David Sonenberg, President of DAS Communications.

I have to admit, I watched the video of Taylor’s band performing live last week (you can view them here) and I wasn’t especially blown away. Maybe she does better in the studio? Then again, she’s still really young, so perhaps there’s potential there that just has to be nurtured. Regardless, I’m interested to hear what comes out of her record deal. And good for her for defining her own image and participating in the songwriting process and stepping out as a creative young woman. I’m rooting for ya, Tay-Tay.