I found you guys a little sneak peak of Taylor Swift in Valentine’s Day (which pretty much everyone working in Hollywood is in) and you know what? Her acting’s not offensive. In fact, she’s kinda cute and funny. Also, this clip features a split second or two of Taylor Lautner and mmm mmm, child, I do not hate that. I didn’t expect much from Little Miss Perfect in the acting department, but I can tell she’ll be a source of LOLs when I get dragged to the theater to see this. And she’s wearing short shorts! She really is acting!

Taylor Lautner  hosted SNL last night, and as a bookend to Taylor Swift’s opening monologue last month, boy Taylor also decided to take a stab at Kanye West….

…And it was the lamest lame of lame lameness ever, and I’m a little angry at all of you for liking Taylor Lautner so much and indirectly forcing me to watch that.

Taylor Lautner, professional hot teenage boy, is about to be all over place even more in just about a minute (I saw his face on a tote bag at Blockbuster Friday night. I feel like I’m swimming in Lautner as it is. I don’t hate it.) and his next role is entirely different than what we’ve seen him do in Twilight. He will, however, remain shirtless, which is really all that matters. From JustJared:

Twilight’s Taylor Lautner has been cast as the superhero Max Steel.

Deadline reports the 17-year-old will play a “19-year-old extreme sports junkie recruited by a secret agency after an accident infects his body, leaving him with superhuman powers.” Let’s hope this isn’t another Speed Racer!

I’m sure that Taylor will hold the interest of Twlight fanatics long enough to have a successful run as Max Steel, at least as far as the box office is concerned. Whether or not Lautner has the chops to take on such a role is yet to be determined.

“There’s tons of fans and we hear all of these high pitch voices and we hear ‘Rah, rah, Taylor, Taylor!’ All of a sudden I hear this deep voice behind me: ‘Taylor, Taylor!’ …. And this guy walks up to me and he goes ‘Hey … my daughter is a huge fan, and I’m a huge fan is there any way I can get a picture with you. I’m Jamie Foxx.’ I was like, ‘Are you kidding me? Can I get a picture with you?’”

– Taylor Lautner on George Lopez’s talk show, sounding surprised that even Jamie Foxx wants a piece of his hotness.

Well, that New Moon crap opened up this weekend and everyone’s seeing it/talking about it/talking about seeing it. I sat with a group of 20-somethings over a business brunch just an hour or so ago and all we talked about is mother freaking vampires and I’m just sitting there like “Did anyone have sex this weekend? Where’s my bacon? Are there any movies out without fantastical creatures in them, because I’m about to kill myself if I have to hear one more word about werewolves and vampires. Seriously. You see this butter knife? I am a woman on the edge. I could cause some serious damage, you guys.”

There’s an US Weekly headline up right now that says the following: “New Moon Has Third-Biggest Opening Weekend in Film History”. That’s supposed to be impressive and show all of us what a hugely popular franchise it is, I suppose. Maybe it really is just that popular. But here’s a fun tip: That movie played in every theater in America this weekend, and the number of screens a movie plays on is a huge factor in how much it brings in at the box office. Any time a movie “like this” comes out it sets records because if you live in Bumbleboo, Indiana, that’s the only movie that’s out in your theater right now.

Perhaps it’s just my complete and utter hatred for all things fantasy that’s making me want to blow away the smoke and smash the mirrors, but I’m hearing this movie sucks. I can’t believe that I’m going to have to hear about Twilight and Twilight-related things for the next year or two of my life. Harry Potter? He was fine. I’ll take Harry. Delightful boy.

I will tell you this, though: I, much like Sasha, would kidnap that 17 year old Taylor Lautner and keep him in my apartment until he is of legal age for me to do terrible things to him.

If you weren’t a big fan of the wig Taylor had to wear for his role as in Jacob in Twilight and part of New Moon, you weren’t alone. Taylor himself wasn’t too fond of it.

“I would not want that hair,” he told the Boston Globe. “When I looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn’t even recognize myself.”

I couldn’t agree more. I thought he looked like a nasty metal head who’d just rolled out of bed and into a pile of really long head pubes.

Lautner aslo revealed in a recent interview that he wasn’t much of a reader, until he picked up the Twilight books

“As a matter of fact, I was not a book reader at all. The only books I ever read were the ones I was forced to in school. But when I started reading this book series, I fell in love with the characters and started turning the pages one after another. It was crazy. I never thought I could do that. But I love this story. This franchise has everything in it: Romance, obviously, action, suspense. It has a dark side to it.”

As a fan of the series himself, he said he thought it was important to remain faithful to the source material when making New Moon.

“The fans are passionate about the book and all they want is those words on the pages brought up on the screen for them to watch. We want to stay as close to the books as possible.”

New Moon comes out November 20th, as I’m sure you already know. My local movie theater is doing a double feature for the local Twi-hards, showing Twilight at 10:00pm on November 19th, followed by New Moon, shortly after midnight.

I still don’t get all the obsession, but to each his or her own. What are your premier night plans? Any of you fanatics going to see the flick at midnight, or dressing up like the characters? I think a Kristen Stewart / Bella costume would be pretty fun to pull off. Just sleep on your couch for a few days, smoke a few bowls, and show up to the premier looking like you couldn’t give a shit about anything… except sour patch kids.

Everyone gets excited about sour patch kids.

Taylor Swift hosted Saturday Night Live last night and opened the show by doing a little ditty about some things we were all hoping for her to comment on, namely Kanye West crashing her VMA speech, her terrible break up with Joe Jonas and her relationship with Taylor Lautner.

Taylor more or less confirmed that she’s dating Lautner, went pretty easy on Kanye and really slapped Joe Jonas across the face. Despite her obvious nerves, she got through the song and was a hit with the live audience. I’m sure her fans watching at home went crazy.