Don’t mess with Nicky Hilton!

After being pushed to the ground by a homeless person at a West Hollywood IHOP at 5 a.m. Saturday morning, the heiress made a citizen’s arrest, Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department spokesman Steve Whitmore confirms to Usmagazine.com.

“One of our deputies was at the IHOP, having a coffee break, and noticed a waitress run outside because there was a commotion,” Whitmore tells Us. Another deputy was then called “because there was a misdemeanor battery that involved Nicky Hilton and a man named Michael Broadhurst,” adds the spokesman.

The 50-year-old homeless person “came up behind Ms. Hilton and pushed her. She’s OK, but she was desirous of prosecution. She said, ‘I am placing you under citizen’s arrest!’”

Whitmore says it was a dual effort by both Hilton and the two deputies to arrest Broadhurst, who will appear in court April 21 …

“It is my understanding that she is OK,” Whitmore tells Us. “A battery is just an unwanted touching.

I have three things to say here:

1) What was Nicky doing at a WeHo IHOP at 5 am?
2) How does one actually make a citizens arrest?
3) Have you guys seen the photoshopped pic of Taylor Hanson sucking a cock? It’s making its way around the Internet, and it HILARIOUS. Also it is way more interesting than this stupid Nicky Hilton story. Check it out here.

Holy fucking hell.

The middle Hanson kiddo and his wife, Natalie, are expecting baby number four this winter.

Please note that Natalie is 24 years old and Taylor is 25.

This kind of shit never ceases to amaze me. What kind of 24-year-old wants four children? I’m 26 and I have four small animals, and even that’s a little overwhelming. Plus none of them grew in my stomach and I still feel like I kind of need a tummy tuck because my tummy looks less like the tummy of a 20-year-old and more like the tummy of a 26-year-old, and I find that to be horribly depressing. And her vagina must be like a damn salad bowl already. Why, why, why? You have your whole lives to pop out kids! Why do you need 8000 of them right now?