After a whole lotta hype, Susan Boyle performed again on Britain’s Got Talent, this time singing “Memory” from Cats. Personally, I was comparatively underwhelmed by this performance — she was behind the band most of the time, and more than one of the notes was a little pitchy. That didn’t seem to disturb the audience or the judges, though — she got a standing ovation and a ton of praise, even from Simon Cowell. “You know what, I just want to apologize because of the way we treated you before you sang the first time,” he said. “You made me and everyone else look very stupid and I’m very happy for you, very proud for you.”

What do you guys think? Does Susan deserve the hype?

For kicks and giggles, I put the performance of one of her competitors, dance troupe Diversity, after the jump.

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The homely singer is getting ready for the final round of Britain’s Got Talent, and she’s heavily favored to win. Amanda Holden, a judge on the show, has invitied Demi and Ashton to attend the final show since the couple are supposedly big fans of the Boyle. She’s even received a personal invitation from her majesty to appear at the Royal Variety Performance– which will be embarrassing if she doesn’t win, since that honor is typically reserved for the winner of BGT.

And in case you were wondering about the sate of the 48 year old’s hymen, it remains intact– a fact that BGT’s promotional team would like you to remember. Because isn’t it amazing that an unattractive middle-aged virgin can sing? It just doesn’t make any sense! You have to be pretty and thin to be able to sing, like 99% of the female artists who have record deals today, right?

Oh wait, no. Actually, what you look like or how much sex you’ve had has absolutely nothing to do with how well you can sing. I’ll leave the oral jokes up to you.

Hey, remember just yesterday when I was all like, “Isn’t it weird that no one believed Britney Spears was a virgin but everyone believes Susan Boyle’s never been kissed?” I’m so prescient, you guys.

In an interview with Extra’s Terri Seymour that will air tonight, Susan admits that she was totes JK on that one. “It was meant as a joke,” she said. “I’ve got a wicked sense of humor, you know!”

Hmmm. I wonder if she’ll lose some of the fan support because of this. Everyone just LOVES the idea of the tragic woman who’s never been kissed and is FINALLY getting an opportunity at empowerment. We want so very badly to be the ones who give love to the this previously utterly unloved woman. Will we love her less now that the joke’s on us?

It was really just a matter of time before this happened:

Homely British singing sensation Susan Boyle has been offered $1 million to make a porn flick.

The plain Jane superstar with the spellbinding voice would have to lose her virginity on camera to earn the seven-figure payday from Los Angeles-based Kick Ass Films.

“We want to get this movie shot and out while Susan has the world’s attention,” said Kick Ass boss Mark Kulkis. “Besides, after 47 years of virginity, I’m sure Susan is also anxious to get something cracking as soon as possible.” …

If Boyle accepts the offer, the porn company will fly her out to Tinseltown on – you guessed it – Virgin Airlines.

I got emails from a few readers asking if this was true.

Let me explain something clearly: Yes, this is true. It is true that a stupid porn company made this offer. It has nothing to do with Susan Boyle and everything to do with PR. They did not make the offer with the idea that Susan would take them up on it — of course she will not — they made the offer so that papers like the NY Daily News and blogs like mine would write about their porn company. This is what we like to call a “PR stunt,” and an exploitative one at that.

Also, wanna know what I think is funny? No one believed Britney Spears when she said she was a 16-year-old virgin, but no one’s even begun to doubt this 47-year-old woman on that point. We’re an amusing society.

“I don’t want to turn her into a glamour-puss. We’re all rooting for the underdog here.”

Britain’s Got Talent judge Amanda Holden, discussing the curious case of frumpipuss Susan Boyle, who captured the world’s heart as a 47-year-old virgin who can sing her heart out. (Video is here.)

I’m also interested to see if the sales of the Les Miserables soundtrack have skyrocketed this week. I betcha they have!

Above find an interview that Susan did on Scottish TV. I personally cannot understand a word of it. I speak English, dammit, not Scottish. If anything interesting happened in there, let me know.