Karina Smirnoff has asked dancing partner Steve Wozniak to walk her down the aisle when she gets  married to fellow DWTS dancer Maksin Chmerkovskiy later this year. Which is weird. No word yet on whether he’ll actually walk, or do it on a Segway. Given his recent injuries, my money’s on Segway.

“He’s a little out of his element but has the biggest personality you’ll ever meet,” Smirnoff said about her dancing partner. “He’s super funny and super charming.”

The whole thing smacks of publicity. I can totally see a DWTS producer pitching this to Smirnoff. Woz is old and kind of dad-like, so who better to fill the position of your absent father than someone you’ve known for all of about 6 months? And I’m sure the wedding will not be part of a “very special” episode of Dancing With the Stars.

Dancing With the Stars “contender” Steve Wozniak might not get many more opportunities to wear sequins and tassels… at least not outside the bedroom. Woz, who was already handicapped by a broken left foot bone, pulled his hamstring at rehearsal on Friday.

It’s not looking good that Steve will make it until Monday. He was spotted Friday night at a CVS pharmacy in Los Angeles “limping pretty badly,” according to a source. When a female fan offered Woz a “good luck” on this Monday’s show, he replied that he might be “off” by then and then limped away. “I hurt it today,” Woz added.

Why not let him get out there and dance on a Segway? He already does everything else on one.

Host Tom Bergeron also commented on how this season’s contestants have gone a little overboard with the spray-on liver failure.

“We have people come in to spray them. But there’s a little Oompa-Loompa going on this season. It’s not for me. I’m holding to the middle-age pasty-white-guy look.”

“We were dating,” says Kathy about her relationship with billionaire Steve Wozniak, “but were just friendly. I never fucked him or anything! The truth is, we really were friends the whole time.”

Aw, Steve Wozniak looks like such a sweet little teddy bear, but, I have to admit, even for a shot at his billions, I probably wouldn’t have let him toss it in, either. He just doesn’t do it for me, ya know? I think it’s the fact that he actually looks like a teddy bear. Beady little eyes, fuzzy face, all of that. I mean, everyone loves their teddy bear, but no one wants to have sex with it. Unless you were one of those girls that grew up using their stuffed animals to masturbate. I knew a lot of chicks who did that. It never stopped striking me as strange, and I just think it explains a lot about their problems as adults.

What was I talking about? Certainly nothing more important than a discussion of using stuffed animals for masturbation …

Oh, right, Kathy Griffin.

“When we went to the Emmys together, I put on this really huge engagement ring and didn’t tell him,” she said. “There are these great photos of me posing with this great big fake diamond ring. He didn’t notice! I was like, ‘Oh, by the way at the Emmys, I had on a fake engagement ring!’ And he was like, ‘Oh, that’s very funny.’”

After Kathy and Steve split up, he got engaged to another chick. “I have had dinner with them, and she’s a thousand times more appropriate!” she said. “I hate to say it, but in the Bruce, Demi, Ashton [scheme of things], I’m the Bruce!”

I don’t know what that means. Is she saying that Ashton Kutcher is more appropriate for Demi Moore than Bruce Willis? Or is she saying that Steve’s new squeeze is like 26 years old?

Okay, so he’s not exactly a hottie, but, then again, he is Steve Wozniak, a co-founder of Apple.

So homeboy’s fucking loaded.

Rock on, Kathy. You marry that shit, and you’ll have the kind of money Paris Hilton can only dream about.

Wozniak’s been married twice before, and he has two sons from his second marriage. And I would like to meet them.