Hayden Panettiere has finally dumped boyfriend Stephen Colletti hopefully after realizing that she is young, hot and famous and he was, well, popular in 2005.

When asked where Stephen was at the VMA’s where Stephen was Hayden replied “I don’t know. In California.” What she should have said was “Seriously, do you think I still would be dating him now that I am 18? hahahahaahahahaha.”

If you wondered what Stephen was doing these days, other than Hayden Panettiere, he actually has a bit of a career. Most recently he has done 7 episodes of “One Tree Hill” and hosted New Year’s 2007 for MTV. Not bad Stephen…at least you are working more than Kristin Cavallari her last project was “Spring Breakdown” which seems like it will never be released.

Hayden, on the flip side, is filming a TV show that is hugely popular and just filmed “Fireflies in the Garden” with Julia Roberts.

Who do you think Hayden will date next?

stephen colletti shirtless

Judging from these samples, it’s not a real shocker that the Internet doesn’t abound with such monstrosities. A distended belly and what looks like the beginnings of eczema. You sure were lucky to score that shit, Kristin. You’re so pretty. Search tip: using quotation marks in Google — “stephen colletti shirtless” — produces better results.

Lark Voorhees pics

More than one of you has shown up here using these terms. I am sad for you. But I couldn’t figure out why you didn’t just click the images tab in Google, until I tried to do it myself. Here’s a hint for all of us: spell it “Voorhies,” because, you know, it turns out that’s how she does.

Stephen Colletti bong

Here’s a beer bong, it’s the best I can do. I can, however, pretty much assure you that Stephen Colletti smokes weed. Is that what you wanted to hear? Is it? Okay then.

Jason Wahler break up cocaine

You’re awfully specific, aren’t you? I’ve actually had quite a number of you show up here via some combination of “Jason Wahler” and “cocaine.” Well, Jason Wahler did break up with Lauren Conrad (or was it the other way around? Hm. I guess we’ll find out next season.) Does Jason Wahler do cocaine? Hm. Now I don’t want to go around all allege-y and whatnot, but if you all typed it into Google, perhaps you know something that I won’t print.

“white wife”

I hear they have them in Russia, dude.

Clips day continues. You know it’s a slow news day when you’ve tracked down a clip of Christina Aguilera on Letterman to use on your blog. But after the Federlesion horror you endured in my last post, Ms. Xtina rocking out should be a welcome treat. I love this girl and I love this song.

The “news” I found on the floor of the gas station bathroom this afternoon:

• Kate Moss, the inarguable Queen of Good Ideas, took it upon herself to plan a wedding to the King of Better Ideas, Pete Doherty. He didn’t show. Johnny Depp pokes his head out from his swimming pool of gazillion dollar bills and critical acclaim to laugh.
• Osama Bin Laden plays his own sick game of Fuck, Marry, Kill. The choices are Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown, and novelist Kola Boof. Play amongst yourselves first.
• Jessica Simpson’s new single sucks so hard that she has lowered herself to warring with Kristin Cavalleri at the Teen Choice Awards. Yeah, that’s right, the chick from Laguna Beach. Who Stephen Colletti called a slut. Who is 19 years old. And who probably banged her ex-husband. These are stars that won’t stop rising, kids.