Remember how I was saying it would be fabulous if there was a Stephanie Pratt sex tape?

Ask and ye shall receive.

This just landed in my inbox:

evilbeet,

there IS a stephanie pratt sex tape. i met stephanie in miami just a few weeks after spencer started on the hills and she was bragging about how her brother was on tv and i didn’t give a shit, but i was like “damn that girl is hot!!!” so i took her back to my place and we had a little fun for the camera. and i think it’s funny that her brother was talking shit about lauren’s vaj, because his sister has a gross mole on hers. it’s the size of my thumb and it has little hairs in it. you can see it in the tape. am currently talking to video agencies to decide where to sell it now that hse’s on the hills but wanted to let u know.

[name redacted]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!

All’s fair in love and war, kids. You should have stayed away, Stephanie.

Who’s this gross-ass methface?

It’s Spencer Pratt’s little sister, Stephanie, who recently decided to start making appearances on The Hills and hassling Lauren without provocation.

You’re fair game now, whore.

Early in the evening of May 8, 2006, in Honolulu, Stephanie, then 20, and a 20-year-old friend — the daughter of a production executive on the locally filmed ABC series Lost — were arrested by the police after security guards at ritzy Neiman Marcus department store caught the duo attempting to shoplift a number of clothing items.

According to police records, Stephanie and her friend had tried on more than 50 pieces of clothing in a dressing room, then left the store after the friend paid for five items. When apprehended outside by store security, Stephanie was wearing two stolen items of clothing and carrying five more in her shoulder bag, while her friend was wearing one stolen item and carrying five more in her bag. Together, the value of the stolen merchandise totaled $1,300!

Stephanie and her friend found themselves in even more hot water after they were arrested on charges of second-degree theft and transported to police headquarters. After they both claimed they took prescription medicine and gave permission to have their bags searched, Stephanie was then arrested on further charges of “promoting a dangerous drug” in the third degree, and “promoting a harmful drug” in the third and fourth degree (her friend was also arrested on a single drug charge). The friend didn’t help matters when, according to the police report, she told an officer that she’d call her lawyer and “be out of this mess and then fly to Paris.” She then added: “If I leave the state, then f–k you guys and your charges! You can’t do anything to me once I’m not here!”

Can’t wait until the Stephanie Pratt sex tape surfaces. Oh, we’re going to have some fun with that.

Apparently that’s a very important question, as rumor has it that the producers of The Hills have been holding casting calls for Heidi and Spencer’s wedding.

Sources close to the show tell me that producers are currently in the process of casting “key roles” for Spencer and Heidi’s upcoming wedding. We’re hearing that Roxy Olin (daughter of Brothers & Sisters’ Ken Olin and Patricia Wettig), whom you’ll remember as Jason Lewis’ girlfriend on B&S, is in final talks to be “cast” as Heidi’s Maid of Honor!

Talk about having no friends!

I don’t know if I believe this — or that Heidi and Spencer are even having a televised wedding — because I’ve also heard that Lauren said she wouldn’t do the show anymore if Heidi and Spencer had their wedding on the show. So take this with a grain of salt.

Even so, I hope Ben Stein gets to play someone’s grandpa.

Check out Heidi filming the “video” for her first “single.”

The cameraman here is Spencer Pratt.

And make sure you stay tuned for the last ten seconds, as a fisherman sits ten feet from their antics.

You gotta admire their determination.

Remember when we all used to think Jason was the bad guy?

Kind of like we used to think K-Fed was the bad guy?

Life is full of surprises, kids.

[source]

Ryan Seacrest premiered Heidi Montag’s first “single” this morning in LA. Spencer Pratt raps on it.

Apparently Ryan was not supposed to do this, and Heidi’s been crying about it all morning.

Awwww. Poor baby.

“The record company leaked the track,” says a source. “Spencer and Heidi were just having fun in the studio and working on songs. That was not meant to be released. Spencer would never rap on Heidi’s first single.”

The truth is, the song isn’t bad. I’m still Team LC, but I could definitely hear this playing in a club. Definitely way better than anything P-Hilt churned out.

Listen to it here.

So some PR firm plugging The Hills Season 2 DVD sent me a bunch of these today, and I have to say, I think they’re pretty fabulous. Here’s the info from the [sic]-tastic email I got:

MTV and their ad agency BaM have created EmotiClips – a way for friends to communicate using scenes of Lauren, Heidi and the infamous Spencer.

Had a break-up recently? Want to tell your best girlfriend how much she means to you? Is someone just a ‘sucky person’ and you’ve got to get the point across? Well turn to MTV’s The Hills Emoticlips to do so. As the 2nd Season DVD of MTV’s hit show lands on shelves tomorrow (Tuesday, August 6th), make sure to send your true feelings (whatever they may be) as the star – Lauren, the party girl Audrina, the professional – Whitney, or the ever scandalous – Heidi. You’re point will definitely be made! So if you can’t live like the “Hill-arious” Ladies at least let your friends know what they mean to you in true SoCal style.

There’s a bunch more of the “EmotiClips” after the jump.

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