Heidi and Spencer showed up at the premiere of Cloverfield, looking very much the couple, and a certain ring is back on Heidi’s finger.

Is this a publicity stunt???

Good.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT, HEIDI AND SPENCER!!!!

JAMIE-LYNN SPEARS IS PREGNANT.

You don’t matter today, Heidi, or ever.

Says Montag,”We’re just going back to being boyfriend and girlfriend…” as Pratt interjects without mockery, “…when our relationship was flawless.”

So where is Montag’s engagement ring? “I turned it into a pendant,” she says. “It wasn’t my dream ring. I don’t like what it represents. I might sell it.”

A pendant.

How very Carrie Bradshaw of you.

Also: this photo is so ridiculously airbrushed.

He called into KIIS-FM today.

You can listen to the full interview here.

The engagement that never was now isn’t.

Sources at MTV are saying Heidi and Spencer have called off their faux-gagement.

So, um, now that he’s not a family man, can someone please put a hit out on Spencer? Come on, MTV. For sweeps week? Please?

Remember how I was saying it would be fabulous if there was a Stephanie Pratt sex tape?

Ask and ye shall receive.

This just landed in my inbox:

evilbeet,

there IS a stephanie pratt sex tape. i met stephanie in miami just a few weeks after spencer started on the hills and she was bragging about how her brother was on tv and i didn’t give a shit, but i was like “damn that girl is hot!!!” so i took her back to my place and we had a little fun for the camera. and i think it’s funny that her brother was talking shit about lauren’s vaj, because his sister has a gross mole on hers. it’s the size of my thumb and it has little hairs in it. you can see it in the tape. am currently talking to video agencies to decide where to sell it now that hse’s on the hills but wanted to let u know.

[name redacted]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!

All’s fair in love and war, kids. You should have stayed away, Stephanie.

Who’s this gross-ass methface?

It’s Spencer Pratt’s little sister, Stephanie, who recently decided to start making appearances on The Hills and hassling Lauren without provocation.

You’re fair game now, whore.

Early in the evening of May 8, 2006, in Honolulu, Stephanie, then 20, and a 20-year-old friend — the daughter of a production executive on the locally filmed ABC series Lost — were arrested by the police after security guards at ritzy Neiman Marcus department store caught the duo attempting to shoplift a number of clothing items.

According to police records, Stephanie and her friend had tried on more than 50 pieces of clothing in a dressing room, then left the store after the friend paid for five items. When apprehended outside by store security, Stephanie was wearing two stolen items of clothing and carrying five more in her shoulder bag, while her friend was wearing one stolen item and carrying five more in her bag. Together, the value of the stolen merchandise totaled $1,300!

Stephanie and her friend found themselves in even more hot water after they were arrested on charges of second-degree theft and transported to police headquarters. After they both claimed they took prescription medicine and gave permission to have their bags searched, Stephanie was then arrested on further charges of “promoting a dangerous drug” in the third degree, and “promoting a harmful drug” in the third and fourth degree (her friend was also arrested on a single drug charge). The friend didn’t help matters when, according to the police report, she told an officer that she’d call her lawyer and “be out of this mess and then fly to Paris.” She then added: “If I leave the state, then f–k you guys and your charges! You can’t do anything to me once I’m not here!”

Can’t wait until the Stephanie Pratt sex tape surfaces. Oh, we’re going to have some fun with that.

Apparently that’s a very important question, as rumor has it that the producers of The Hills have been holding casting calls for Heidi and Spencer’s wedding.

Sources close to the show tell me that producers are currently in the process of casting “key roles” for Spencer and Heidi’s upcoming wedding. We’re hearing that Roxy Olin (daughter of Brothers & Sisters’ Ken Olin and Patricia Wettig), whom you’ll remember as Jason Lewis’ girlfriend on B&S, is in final talks to be “cast” as Heidi’s Maid of Honor!

Talk about having no friends!

I don’t know if I believe this — or that Heidi and Spencer are even having a televised wedding — because I’ve also heard that Lauren said she wouldn’t do the show anymore if Heidi and Spencer had their wedding on the show. So take this with a grain of salt.

Even so, I hope Ben Stein gets to play someone’s grandpa.

Check out Heidi filming the “video” for her first “single.”

The cameraman here is Spencer Pratt.

And make sure you stay tuned for the last ten seconds, as a fisherman sits ten feet from their antics.

You gotta admire their determination.