I’d run the pics of Keira alone on the red carpet, but, oh wait, there aren’t any. She insisted on holding Sienna Miller’s hand the whole damn time. I don’t understand it and I don’t want to.

Oh, and I had the photo agency’s website programmed to display the oldest photos first — I did that to find the young pics of Nicole Richie I ran previously — but when I searched for these photos of Keira it actually brought up the earliest photos of her, including this one from the Pirates of the Caribbean premiere in 2003. In. Sane. I want that stomach. Now.

Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller appeared together last night at The British Independent Film Awards in London.  I love Keira’s whole look.  The hair, dress, makeup.  Sienna looks ok but blah.  By the way, I’m pretty sure she got back together with Balthazar Getty.  Yeah, I didn’t care either.

Also there was Ralph Fiennes who looks really hot bald.  Anna Friel was there in a dress that looks just like the Play-Doh containers I have at my house when I let my kids mix all the colors together.  Well…when I used to let them have Play-Doh.  And Rupert Everett who was tagged as Rupert Graves all over the pap sites. 

Sienna Miller has officially confirmed her split with Balthazar Getty.

“I’m single at the moment, and I’m completely happy with that,” she said Friday at the Hollywood Dominoes: VIP Launch in London. “It’s nice not to have a relationship that the press constantly want to scrutinize and discuss. I’m cool with being on my own.

My money is on Rosetta, Getty’s wife, getting her man back.  A wife and four children should be a bigger pull than a trick pelvis.  Though I never think staying together for the sole sake of kids is a good idea, I do think children can be a great motivating force for adults to find a way back to happiness.  I wish them luck!  And I actually wish Sienna luck too! 

Above, Sienna Miller at the Hollywood Dominoes:  VIP Launch

Well it’s coming from The Daily Mail so take it with a grain of salt.  But apparently Sienna Miller has moved back to London to get some space from her married, live-in boyfriend Balthazar Getty.  He has made no motion to file for divorce from his wife of 8 years and Sienna doesn’t like that.  He cheated on his wife with Miller and now she’s upset that he won’t commit.  I love irony.  I, too, hated when my old boyfriend’s wife got in the way.  Selfish bitch.

But wait, there’s more.  Getty is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict and Sienna is rumored to be…you know, the same minus the “recovering”. 

If you could create an instruction manual on how to craft a doomed for failure relationship, wouldn’t these two be in every diagram?

Sienna Miller looks a little uncomfortable as she leaves the Groucho club in London — along with married flame Balthazar Getty, who was careful to keep his back to the photogs.

Really, Sienna, must you do this publicly?

Someone decided to spray-paint the word “SLUT” along the wall of the London home of husband-stealer Sienna Miller.

And WTF is that symbol next to it?

Be afraid, Sienna.

I’m driving myself crazy trying to think up a cutesy nickname for these two.

Sienazar? Balthienna? The Homewrecking Assholes? I dunno. I like the last one.

The Homewrecking Assholes have finally put an end to their frolicking on the beach. Now they’re frolicking on the New York social scene instead. On Thursday, they hit up an art show at the South Street Seaport and later hung out at the Rose Bar.

Conspicuously absent?

Balthazar’s 10-month-old baby, whose mother he ditched for Sienna.

So very, very sad.

“The breakdown of a marriage is a very difficult and painful experience especially when children are involved,” Balthazar Getty said in a statement released Monday. “In light of the fact that many pictures have surfaced in print and on the Internet which has caused myself and my family great embarrassment, I felt it necessary to at least acknowledge publicly that yes indeed my wife and I have separated and I will not be commenting any further.”

Life is so tragic when you’re sucking on Sienna Miller’s tits on a beach all day.

Tragic indeed.