So the new promo for the Shia LaBeouf film Eagle Eye is a kickass virtual game that you can play at eagleeyefreefall.com.

Basically, you become a secret agent and the game actually calls your cell phone with instructions from your agency — and then you start making phone calls on their behalf. It’s very innovative and very cool, even if the technology doesn’t always quite understand what you’re trying to say.

Here’s my question: Is this thing beatable? No matter what I try, I fail in my mission.

So I’m sending in you guys. If anyone can win this game, I’m sure it’s one of you.

I wouldn’t advise playing this at the office — you have to do a lot of talking into your cell phone that probably won’t sound much like work.

This is really a fantastic set of photos, because we get too see Shia LaBeouf and his be-bandaged hand on the set of Transformers 2, plus a nice look at Megan Fox adjusting her titties.

Sometimes the gods just give us these little gifts, and we must accept them humbly.

Okay, so here’s like, my biggest pet peeve in the world. I call the cable company to ask a question. Before I can talk to a human being, I’m asked to key in my telephone number. I do this. Then a human being answers, and asks me for my telephone number. I give it to her. Then this human being asks me for my name, address and account number. I tell her. Then she asks me what I need. I tell her. Then she’s like, “Oh, okay, I’m gonna have to pass you along to XYZ Dept.” And I’m like “Okay.” So then another human being gets on the line. He asks me my phone number. I give it to him. Then he asks me for my name, address and account number. I give it to him. Then he asks me what I need. I tell him. He’s like, “Okay, I’m gonna go ahead and take care of the first part of that for you, but you need to speak to the folks at ABC Dept for the second part. I’ll send your call to them.” Then a third human being gets on the line. She asks me for my telephone number. I give it to her. Then she asks me for my name, address and account number. I give it to her. Then she wants to know what I need.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, PEOPLE!!! WE HAVE SENT A MAN TO WALK ON THE MOON! CAN YOU NOT TRANSFER MY MOTHERFUCKING ACCOUNT INFORMATION ALONG WITH THE PHONE CALL???? HOW FUCKING HARD CAN THIS POSSIBLY BE???? MAYBE IF WE SET UP A FACEBOOK GROUP TO WALK YOU THROUGH IT???

Anyway.

Extra has the tape of the 911 call made in relation to the Shia LaBeouf car accident, which was a very bad accident. The stupid lady who answers makes the caller give her all the info, then transfers her to the LAPD, where she has to give the info again, and then the LAPD wants her to tell it to the ambulance driver again. Like OMFG JUST GET A FUCKING POLICE CAR TO THE CORNER OF FOUNTAIN AND LA BREA WHERE THERE’S A FUCKING CAR TURNED UPSIDE-DOWN. THIS IS NOT A GAME OF WHERE’S WALDO. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FIND IT.

Sorry.

I went to the DMV today. I’m in a bad mood.

Star magazine is reporting that Shia LaBeouf’s hand may be so badly injured that they have to amputate his pinky finger.

“Shia called producers yesterday and told them,” the source on the set in Alamogordo, N.M. says. “It’s really thrown the movie into turmoil.”

I thought about this for awhile, feeling really bad for him, and then I was like, “What do I really use my pinky finger for anyway?” I mean, typing, obviously, and then on occasion to demonstrate visually the penis size of men who have stopped returning my phone calls. Shia’s probably not doing a lot of either, so he’ll be fine.

Update: This rumor is apparently false.

Shia LaBeouf debuts his injured hand during a smoke break outside the hospital.

Ouch!

Also, I’m on DAY SIX without smoking! WOO HOO!!!

And somehow this picture makes me want a cigarette. Addiction is so weird. But I’m not going to have one!

I know, I know. It’s all Shia all the time this week. We could move on to something else if somebody would just plant a tiny bag of heroin on Miley Cyrus and make an anonymous phone call to the LAPD. Hell, I’d do it my damn self if I still lived in LA. Selena Gomez, if you’re reading this: I will pay you back for the heroin if you want to jump on this idea.

Anywho, Access Hollywood has been stalking anyone who was even remotely involved in Sunday’s DU-Shi incident, and they found some eyewitness who said the driver of the other vehicle actually told Shia to take off. Shia, however, decided to stay.

“Shia was tending to the other people in the car, signing over information, like insurance and stuff and basically, I overheard the guy tell him, ‘You should just get out of here and go,’ and Shia said, ‘Nah man. I gotta deal with this. My license plate, it’s my car. I don’t wanna go, I gotta deal with this.’”

…

“The guy Shia hit told him, ‘You should get outta here,’ and ‘I never saw you.’ He said, ‘I never saw you,’ and Shia said, ‘No, man, I gotta stay here and deal with this. It’s my problem.”

The driver of the other vehicle, strangely, hasn’t been identified yet. Why would he tell Shia to take off? Of course the cops would eventually track him down. Was this guy hoping Shia would be like, “Oh, thanks, man. Here’s my number: call me and I’ll totally get your script produced. Catch ya later!” Good to see Shia was at least not a complete idiot about the situation.

You know, the only thing that sucks in Hollywood more than getting a DUI is getting a DUI during a slow news week. And, in that regard, Shia LaBeouf just hit the jackpot of suck. It’s been week after week after week of non-stories and baby births around here, and, with a genuine scandal to latch on to, it’s just gonna be all Shia all the time until something else happens (the Miley Cyrus cocaine video? Please please?). Although Shia himself has yet to issue a statement regarding Sunday’s incident, Mothers Against Drunk Driving has issued their own open request to Shia, asking that he voluntarily install ignition interlock devices on all his vehicles. Heh. Something tells me this isn’t going to happen.

An Open Request to Shia LaBeouf
from Mothers Against Drunk Driving

To protect the safety of his family and the citizens of his community, Mothers Against Drunk Driving calls on Shia LaBeouf to voluntarily install ignition interlock devices on all vehicles registered in his name, in addition to completing the official punishment/sanctions that may be levied in the event of his conviction for DUI.

An ignition interlock is a breath test device linked to a vehicle’s ignition system and is normally mandated to convicted drunk drivers as a condition of probation. We hope Mr. LaBeouf will voluntarily use the opportunity of his DUI arrest to educate his fans – and the country – about this life-saving device by installing the device on his vehicles.

Ignition interlocks are proven effective tool in the fight to eliminate drunk driving and save lives.

· Ignition interlocks reduce drunk driving offenses by an average of 65 percent.

· Ignition interlocks have the potential to save more than 4,000 lives now taken in repeat drunk driving crashes annually.

· A majority of American citizens (65 percent) support the use of ignition interlocks as a sanction for first-time convicted drunk drivers.

· A full 85 percent support ignition interlocks for repeat offenders.

States across the nation are turning to the alcohol ignition interlock to help prevent drunk driving tragedies. Just this year, four states – Washington, Nebraska, Alaska and Colorado – expanded the use of alcohol ignition interlocks to include all convicted drunk drivers. MADD lobbied the California state legislature this year to pass similar legislation and plans to make the expanded use of interlocks in California its top priority next year.

MADD believes the tools are now at hand to eliminate drunk driving from the United States. The Campaign to Eliminate Drunk Driving, launched in November 2006, has four elements: intensive, high-visibility law enforcement, full implementation of alcohol ignition interlocks for all convicted drunk drivers, development of advanced vehicle technologies to prevent drunk driving and grassroots support led by MADD and its 400+ affiliates, to make the elimination of drunk driving a reality.