Archive for the ‘Shaquille O'Neal’ Category

“Kobe, Tell Me How My Ass Tastes!”

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

OMG this is genius.

You guys have to check out this clip of Shaquille O’Neal rapping at an NYC club last night. I couldn’t stop laughing.

This dude should just give up the whole basketball thing and focus on slamming Kobe Bryant in his raps.

After spending several verses shredding Kobe apart for losing in the NBA playoffs, Shaq drops the line, “I’m a horse, Kobe ratted me out, that’s why I’m getting divorced.”

The line most likely references a comment Kobe made during his infamous 2003 rape case, when he told Colorado police that he “Should have done what Shaq does … Shaq would pay his women not to say anything.” The two became famously bitter rivals after the incident.

Watch the video here.

Shaq’s Quite the Player

Monday, January 7th, 2008

shaq1.jpg

Now that he’s on the path to divorce, it looks like Shaquille O’Neal is single and ready to mingle. And by “mingle” I of course mean “have lots of hot sex with random hot chicks.”

Says a driver for the basketball star: “Every time Shaq is in town, I get the call, and let me tell you: He’s got more women leaving his hotel room then any celebrity I’ve ever seen. Every time he stayed at the Marriott in South Beach, he had a blonde or a brunette with him.”

Seriously, you could not pay me enough money to have sex with Shaquille O’Neal. I think we all know why. I mean, have you seen his hands? OUCH!!!

Shaq’s Available!

Wednesday, September 5th, 2007

Shaq Files for Divorce from Wife Shaunie

It’s a very happy day for tall women everywhere. Miami Heat center Shaquille O’Neal has filed for divorce from his wife of five years, Shaunie.

The couple have four children together, and each has a child from a previous relationship.

And it looks like this divorce is going to be messy! Shaq’s petition says that Shaunie has been “secretive about her assets . . . particularly with respect to certain properties owned or titled in either [her] name alone or in other entities.” I don’t even know what that means, but I know it means trouble! Yay!

Shaq is also requesting that the couple’s children live with Shaunie, but that he get ”liberal rights of visitation.”

Such a Pimp

Friday, July 27th, 2007

Shaquille O’Neal Drives By Area NIghtclub, Pictures Pics Photos

Shaquille O’Neal drives by Area nightclub in WeHo last night. He’s almost bigger than the car.

Photo credit: Buzz Foto