Check out this X17 video of Shanna Moakler last night, after the Dancing with the Stars finale after-party. A photog asks her if she’s talked to Paris since “the incident.” Shanna laughs and says she has not. The guy follows up by asking her what she would say to Paris if she were to talk to her. “She should take her Valtrex!” responds Moakler. Valtrex is, of course, a herpes medication. Ouch.

On a side note, Shanna’s lost most of her marriage weight and is starting to look really good again.

Oh thank heavens. Aaron Carter and Jack Osbourne are feuding. And here I was worried it was going to be another slow news week. [AllieIsWired]

Heather Locklear and David Spade left Mr. Chow’s in the same car, so, as a responsible journalist, I must assume they are dating again. [SplashNews]

YouTube quickly pulled the video of the Kanye West tirade at the MTV Europe VMAs, but Google doesn’t own iFilm yet. Boo-yah. [iFilm]

Daniel Craig is getting rave reviews as the new 007, but it seems he has a bit of a potty mouth. This link also has the long version of the Casino Royale trailer. [The Bosh]

If you weren’t fortunate enough to attend Shanna Moakler’s Las Vegas divorce party in person, you can experience all the emotional health and maturity in these pictures. I hope you get a good, hearty laugh out of them, like I’m sure her children will. [ICYDK]

Don’t stock up on Vaseline just yet — it’s only a rumor thus far — but there is, allegedly, a Scarlett Johansson sex tape in existence, and someone is trying to sell it. [Eluid]

Paris and Nicole pose for their very first pictures as a reunited couple. Nicole’s dyed her hair dark brown — it actually looks nice — and, I could be dreaming, but, based on several pictures I’ve seen of her from this weekend, it looks like she may actually be putting on some weight. Way to go, Nicole! [Rappy's]

Thanks anyway, Katharine McPhee, but Nicole Richie doesn’t need advice from some recovering bulimic, no matter how desperate said bulimic may be to extend her fifteen minutes of fame. Besides, everyone knows bulimics are just wannabe anorexics who got too damn hungry. [Gossip or Truth]

Also cashing in her eating disorder chip today is Alison Clinton, the nanny Sara Evans accused of sleeping with her sex addict of a husband. She claims Evans’ allegations have triggered an anorexia relapse. And her brothers are going to Iraq. And she’s unemployed. She weighs just over seventy pounds, and, as part of her recovery program, it’s important that information be distributed to the entire readership of Star magazine. [Star]

But wait! We’re not through with eating disorders yet! Up now: Kate Bosworth has opted to embrace Karen Carpenter’s wardrobe along with her fatal illness. [Teddy and Moo]

Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler: Battle of the MySpace Blogs. Come for the venom. Stay for the spelling mistakes. [Tabloid Whore]

Seriously, maybe we should just stop inviting Kanye West to awards shows. [Bossip]

AmIdol’s Kelly Pickler releases her first album, entitled — shockingly — Small Town Girl. They’re planning on using a photo of her visiting her father in jail as the cover. And she’ll be holding a book upside-down. And eating sushi with an eyelash curler. [Girls Talkin' Smack]

From Travis Barker’s MySpace blog:

SOMEBODY SENT A MESSAGE AND A FLYER WAS ATTATCHED (I POSTED IT BELOW). SHANNA IS HAVING A DIVORCE PARTY FOR HERSELF IN CELEBRATION OF OUR FAILED MARRIAGE APPARENTLY….. THIS IS THE SAME WIFE THAT EMAILED ME TO TELL ME SHE WOULD BE SLEEPING WITH HER NEW BOYFRIEND IN MY BED THE DAY OF OUR ANNIVERSARY 2 DAYS AGO SO THIS DOESN’T COME AS A SHOCK. AND THE SAME PERSON WHO IS MAKING “I LOVE SHANNA” SHIRTS FOR PEOPLE TO BUY, IN SUPPORT OF ALL THIS AND PLAYING THE VICTIM, IT SADDENS ME PEOPLE AND EVEN BRINGS ON THE URGE TO PUKE, HOPE IT DOES YOU AS WELL. IM GONNA SAY A LONG PRAYER FOR HER, SHE NEEDS IT. THERE ISN’T A PART OF SHANNA AND I AND THE FACT OUR MARRIAGE FAILED THAT I COULD BE CELEBRATING OR HAPPY ABOUT EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS TIME IT WAS OUR FAMILY…IT WAS ALL WE HAD……I MEAN A PARTY??? WHAT DOESN’T KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER:) GOODNIGHT AND MAY THE FORCE BE WITH U….STAR WARS IS ON AND THIS IS NOW IN THE PAST. HOPE SHANNA’S PARTY IS EVERYTHING SHE COULD HOPE 4.

He is, of course, referencing this little blow-out.

[via BarbieMartini]

You too can be a part of Shanna Moakler’s “Divorce Party” at Light, the club in the Bellagio. Wow, way to be shameless girl. Shanna, since her separation, has gotten into a public feud with Paris Hilton, rode a “Glacier” into New York’s harbor to promote Smirnoff Vodka, and now is having a party to celebrate her broken marriage.

I wonder where her kids are in all of this? Her husband is doing Paris Hilton and she is off throwing parties in Vegas. Way to be parents Barkers!

Thanks to [Perez Hilton] for some great Shanna Moakler coverage.

Paris Hilton is becoming something of a fixture at Hollywood Station. For the second time in as many months, the heiress made a late-night stop to the Los Angeles police station. This time, however, she was there voluntarily (her last visit was the result of a DUI) — Hilton filed a report against Shanna Moakler, alleging that the former Miss USA (and estranged wife of Paris’s latest boy toy, Travis Barker), punched her in the jaw at Hyde. (Paris’s precious jaw, for the record, looks a-okay in the video).

Moakler also made a trip to the station, alleging that Paris’s friend (and former flame) Stavros Niarchos poured a drink over her head at the club.

That’s right, folks. He allegedly poured a drink over her head. Niarchos’s family, for the record, is worth around $7.5 billion. Billion with a B. And he poured a drink over Miss USA’s head. I’ll give that some time to sit.

Remember when you actually had to be home during the day to watch soap operas unfold?