These two will never be totally over. They’re like Pam and Tommy Lee!!!

Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler suck face at a Post-VMA party.

I like how at the very beginning she’s like, “Ah, young Hollywood,” like the mere fact that she’s aging prevents her from acting with the exact same immaturity time and time again.

Shanna Moakler hangs out with daughter Alabama Barker yesterday.

He threw her a birthday party (she’s 32, but who’s counting?) in Miami this weekend, which is weird because her birthday is March 28, but when you have a good excuse to have Mark McGrath and Scott Storch in the same place at the same time, why wait??? Unless you’re afraid the universe might just implode into the black hole of cultural fucking relevance formed when these two are in close proximity. Kim Stewart’s tasteful ass is there, too, because her best friend was banging Travis while he was separated from his wife, and because there might be a pink motorcycle she can fall off of. Happy birthday, Shanna. Love the bangs, doll. Try not to get herpes.

It’s like this: the most fool-proof way to get it to rain is to get your car washed, right?

Similarly, the obvious way to ensure your ex-husband will get Paris Hilton out of his system (or, more likely, to ensure Paris Hilton will get your ex-husband out of her system) and come back to you is to throw a goddamn “divorce party” in Las Vegas.

Well-played, Shanna. Well-played.

After a dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty split, the Meet the Barkers costars were spotted holding hands at Disneyland on Saturday, and cuddling at the Roosevelt last night. Sources say they are definitely back together.

Shanna Moakler continues her image rehabilitation tour by dating Jenna Jameson’s soon-to-be ex-husband, porn producer (and sometime star) Jay Grdina. It’s neat how both Shanna and her ex-husband, Travis Barker, have managed to find new love in porn stars. [Celebslam]

Check out the video for J-Lo’s new song, “Que Hiciste.” [popbytes]

Smashing Pumpkins rocker Billy Corgan is hooking up with Certifiably Insane Recovering Heroin Addict Courtney Love. [Agent Bedhead]

Paris Hilton runs out of gas in Beverly Hills, hangs out and flips through a scrapbook while the paparazzi run to get her gas. Rough life. [NYP]

Former SNL star Chris Kattan gets engaged to some hot chick he would totally never have landed had he not found some measure of fame playing Mango and Mr. Peepers. [Pop on the Pop]

Awww…this is really cute! Total hotties Jennifer Morrison and Jesse Spencer, who both play doctors on House M.D., are engaged. Congratulations! [Cele|bitchy]