Shakira’s new video came out today and uhhh… I don’t get it? I feel really dense and I’m sure I’ll find out from one of you commenters within minutes of posting this, but what the hell is going on here? Shakira is in some sort of trantric sex dance on a bed with a dude, then in a steam room. Is this supposed to be like that show Sisters? Didn’t they all go in a steam room on that show? Oh, and the song is probably the most annoying thing I’ve ever heard. She sounds like Grover.

The National Enquirer thinks Anna Nicole’s underlying cause of death was pneumonia. And if it ran in the National Enquirer, it must be true. [Celebslam]

I knew this world was missing something. I thought it was, like, a cure for AIDS and cancer, or peace, or even potable water, but it turns out it was just a hip-shakin’ Beyonce/Shakira duet. Phew. [POTP]

Oh hells yes. A new Star Trek movie in the works! [Pajiba]

Carmen Electra’s next big career move is as a magician’s assistant in Las Vegas, where maybe she can make another marriage disappear. [popbytes]

Katherine Heigl isn’t leaving Grey’s Anatomy anytime soon, although they do hate her quite a bit around there. [ICYDK]

Jennifer Love Hewitt has very lovely breasts. [Egotastic]