TOTAL CUTENESS! I guess Selena Gomez and Taylor Lautner are definitely a couple, because Selena was spotted palling around with Taylor’s sister, Makena, in Vancouver yesterday. If only we could get pics of Selena getting this cozy with Taylor!

Also: Makena looks exactly like the girl version of her brother. Freaky!

I know you probably worked really hard over the past few days coming up with a suitable portmanteau for the Selena Gomez / Taylor Lautner romance, so I hate to tell you that you probably won’t be using the words ‘Taylena’ or ‘Seletay’ anytime soon. Which is probably a good thing because they both sound like some kind of tapas involving chickpeas and raw fish.

E! online is reporting that Selena Gomez and Taylor Lautner are “just friends.” Selena’s Wizards of Waverly Place co-star, Jennifer Stone, insists that, “Just because they’re hanging out together doesn’t mean they’re dating, you know…They’re just friends. She’s friends with guys!” Which is a good point. I’d look like the wildest whore this side of the Mississippi if every time I hung out with a guy friend people assumed I was dating him.

Still, I don’t usually jump on the backs of doods that I don’t have a least a little non-platonic interest in. Actually, I don’t usually jump on the backs of any doods anymore, but 16 year old me totally would have.

In other Twilight coupling news, Ashley Greene recently denied that she’s dating Jackson Rathbone, but smirked and stuttered a little bit when she did so. Her publicist then wandered up and said that the two “seriously” weren’t dating, which could either mean “they seriously aren’t dating” OR “they aren’t dating seriously” — which are two completely different things.

Major UPGRADE for Selena Gomez, who used to date one of those greasy Jonas Brothers (I don’t know which one and it doesn’t matter) and is now rumored to be swapping totally virginal spit with Twilight hottie Taylor Lautner. The two are both filming flicks in Vancouver right now, and photogs have spotted them out and about on more than one occasion, although they always do their best to hide from the cameras.

When they had a break from filming (him New Moon and her Beezus and Ramona), Lautner, 17, picked up Gomez, 16, at her hotel Saturday, and the young couple headed for dinner at the upscale Cactus Club in the town of Coquitlam.

After dinner, they linked arms and walked to a nearby cineplex to see the Beyonce Knowles thriller Obsessed. “They were cuddling throughout the movie and sat very close together,” says an onlooker. “[They were] definitely acting like they were boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Oooh, I would love for these two to be a couple. I just think Taylor’s so adorable and handsome. If I were 16 still, I’d totally be all up on his fang.

Miley, are you taking notes?  I just think this Selena is so sweet and genuine and open.  You know, Hollywood hasn’t ruined her yet.  Could she be the one that can pull a Jodie Foster-segue from childhood to adulthood, keep her career going and her underwear on and not have a standing arrangement with a local rehab facility?  It’s almost too much to hope for.

Gomez graces the cover of April’s issue of Latina magazine, doesn’t want to talk about Miley and looks up to Britney Spears.  What else could you ask for?

On being a teen celebrity, including the perks and the pitfalls that come with it: “I always wanted this to be my life but I don’t want it to live my life for me.”

On admiring Britney Spears: “In a way, Britney can be someone to look up to. She was constantly being looked at and picked on, and it’s starting to happen to me. At the moment, I don’t have anything good they can pick on me with, but they’ll find something. Maybe I can be as strong.”

On being proud of her Latin roots: “I didn’t even realize what a big deal it was to be Latin at first. But then one day being with my dad, it hit me: it’s pretty neat to be Mexican. And there aren’t enough Latinas in Hollywood—or there are, but they don’t get the recognition. So to be able to come out here and use that, it’s really a powerful thing.”

On the so-called feud with fellow Disney star, Miley Cyrus: “I think Miley can agree with me. There are so many more things going on that are so much more important to us in our lives than wasting time on that stuff.”

Are these bangs going to be some new trend?  Because I hate them.  Like, I didn’t care when Jessica Alba got them because she’s mean and deserves ugly hair.  But Selena Gomez is just a cute and innocent kid despite that thing on her head.  Where were her parents when this haircut was happening?  Aren’t there laws to protect minors from this kind of thing? 

Speaking of devastating, I also came across some pictures of Rachel Zoe who was at the 2008 CNN Heroes with Selena event last night.  And I wikied her.  She’s 37 years old?  I will give a free Dr. Pepper to the first person who can prove that she is actually at least eight years older.  Because if I have to live with the fact that she’s only 11 months older than I am, I’m not sure I can go on.  For real.

Also there:  Lucy Liu looking pregnant, Cameron Diaz looking orange, and Ricki Lake looking like she could have made so much more effort.  Dude, you lost like, a hundred pounds.  Wear something flattering.

When I page through all the pictures that were taken at an event, there are lots of snapshots of each celebrity in different poses or scenarios.  Drinking wine, posing on the red carpet, accepting an award.  Meg Ryan’s face, in every single picture, was exactly the same.  No other facial nuance was recorded at any time.  

In their rushed efforts to create a new Miley Cyrus before the original’s sex tape leaks, Disney appears to have greenlit a Wizards of Waverly Place film, which will throw relative newcomer Selena Gomez onto the big screen and deeper into the hearts of pre-teen America.

Selena also continues to hawk her Shia LaBeouf crush, repeating her request that he make an appearance on her show. “I’m, like, begging, but it’s not happening. I know I’m a nerd! Please, Shia, come on my show!”

Wonder what Nick Jonas thinks of all this nonsense. He’s probably too busy worrying about his big-screen debut, co-starring a flatulent dog. OMG! COULD WE GET MILEY CYRUS TO PLAY THE DOG???? That would be so awesome.

Selena “Perfect” Gomez has some brilliant PR folks.

She’s being positioned so well.

They’re just waiting for Miley Cyrus to self-destruct, so Selena can step up and be like, “See? I’m just like Miley Cyrus, except without the sex tape and the DUI.”

Here’s Selena mugging with some kids at the launch of UNICEF’s Trick-or-Treat campaign in New York.