The last time I wrote about Sean Penn, his agent sent me a little email and it wasn’t to congratulate me on my wit.  Well, I’m back with more Sean Penn news and I wish it was more favorable, yet I’m relieved that I’m not reporting that Sean and Robin Wright are back together again.

Penn’s son, the commode formerly known as Hopper was arrested at his Malibu high school last week.  He’s a minor, just 16 years old, so authorities aren’t releasing any details on the charges.  Therefore, we can only speculate on where the lad went wrong.  I was thinking that maybe he was bagged for painting graffiti on the walls or you know, trying to steal a car.  I’m sure it wasn’t um, *sniff* substance-related.

Stay tuned; it’s only a matter of time before the principal an unnamed source comes forth with the real story.

Perhaps this is just what Sean Penn and Robin Wright need to get off the I love you/I hate you/I love you/I hate you roller coaster.  Sean has a new girlfriend — they met last month at Kid Rock’s house so you know it’s destined to last forever and ever — and she’s every estranged wife’s nightmare.

She’s a 2003 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition model, she’s appeared in Jay-Z, John Legend and Robin Thicke videos.  She was seen on The T.O. Show when she was dating Terrell Owens and she has a contract with Maybelline.  Did I mention she’s half Sean’s age?

One of People’s unnamed sources said, “They are together all the time.  They are pretty serious together. She wants to get serious with him and it seems like he is really into her too.”  He’s got money and fame, she’s got 25-year-old tits — everybody wins.

Robin Wright is on the cover of September’s issue of More and spilling the news that her marriage to Sean Penn is over.  Though the interview was conducted a few months ago, she maintains that nothing has changed.  ”I hit that crossroad a while ago—for Robin, the ‘I know what I don’t want’ [sign] was flashing neon lights.  I have no regrets. I, we, have two amazing children we raised together.  There’s no limbo anymore. There’s no time. I’m too old for this shit.”

My original approach was to shrug it all off because, let’s face it, this exact scenario unfolds every couple of months.  However, as I was typing, I found out that Robin filed for divorce on August 12.  I have a feeling this one will stick — mostly because she initiated it.

I wonder if this will bring an end to Sean’s year-long break.  You know, the sabbatical he decided to take so he could spend it with his wife and kids?  He gave up The Three Stooges movie for this woman!

Sean Penn seems to have taken a temporary break from racing to the L.A. County courthouse to file for divorce from his wife Robin Wright every eight weeks.  You’d think he’d take advantage of this extra time that has now presented itself in his schedule, and focus on making movies, but he’s actually taking a year off.

In a move that has some in the industry left holding the bag — Penn was slated to appear in Cartel and The Three Stooges but has backed out of both projects –  Sean has indicated a need to spend time with family as his reason for the sabbatical.

May I be candid?  ”Sabbaticals” and “taking a break” and ”exhaustion and dehydration” all mean the same thing:  rehab.  It’s a long-standing rumor that Penn has a penchant for the nose candy — how else to explain his little friendship with Leggings Lohan? 

I guess we’ll just have to stay tuned for the official announcement, but think about it.  You don’t give up the opportunity to play Larry in The Three Stoogesjust so you can chillax a bit — that’s the role of a lifetime.  In the meantime, good luck Sean and enjoy your, uh, “rest.”

Never mind that they are wasting the court’s time, they are wasting my time and seriously irritating me in the process.  Sean Penn and wife Robin Wright-Penn have asked that their legal separation case be dismissed.  Again.  This would be the second “I Love You, I Love You Not,” go-around for these two.

You know who I feel bad for?  Their kids.  At this point, how many times do you think Sean and Robin have sat down with their sons and given them the “Listen, you know mommy and daddy both love you, right?  Sometimes, it’s better for a mom and dad to live separately.  That way, we’ll both be happier which will result in you guys being happier,” talk?  These kids must just roll their eyes and be all “Whatevah.”  Because they know what all of America knows –  these two messes aren’t ever going to split up.  Every 12 to 15 months they’ll get restless and file some sort of legal motion but that will be the extent of it.

So, yeah.  Sean Penn and Robin Wright are back together.  Nobody.  Cares.

Ew. Just, ew. Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn’s divorce was finalized just last week, and it looks like part of the reason for the second split was because Sean just couldn’t keep his fingers out of the Natalie Portman honeypot. The two are rumored to have dated before, but sources now say that they have been back together since mid-March, and Sean’s blatant infidelity was the final straw.

Star Magazine reports that the two have been together ever since March 17th, when they were spotted making out at Sunset Tower Hotel’s Tower Bar.

A source tells the magazine, “She stimulates him in ways no other person has, mentally or professionally. There’s a lot more there with Natalie than any of the other girls Sean’s been with.”

Looks like  Wendie’s hopes for a Sean and Madonna revival are not going to be realized.

Evil Beet Gossip is going green today and totally recycling this story as originally reported back in December 2007 when these two crazy kids filed the first time.  They eventually reconciled in April, 2008.

Now here we are.  It’s April, 2009, Robin Wright is still wearing boring black dresses, Sean Penn is still a dick and they still hate each other.  In other words, nothing has changed.

Penn (again!) filed for a legal separation on April 24th.  They have been married for thirteen years and have two sons, Hopper Jack and Dylan Frances.

You know, now that Madonna is single, and every production from the 1980’s is being remade anyway, maybe we can see a Sean and Madonna revival.