Because I forget.  What is it I’m supposed to do tomorrow?  I’m fucking sick of the election and ready for November 5th.  “Vote for Change” has become the equivalent of “whassup” and “that’s hot.”  Entertaining for like two seconds and then annoying for all eternity. 

So here’s the question: Everything I read says Obama is going to win by a landslide.  Does anyone out there think McCain still has a shot? 

Jay-Z, Sean Combs (I refuse to play along with his name changes), Russell Simmons, Jesse Jackson Jr. and Mary J. Blige got together for a Last Chance for Change rally in Miami.  I think that’s the equivalent of a last chance workout on The Biggest Loser  where everyone frenetically starts doing jump tricep bench dips in hopes that it’ll make a difference at the final weigh-in.

Because if I can’t blog about the retarded shit celebs did today, the terrorists have already won.

• David Spade and Heather Locklear are dunzo; her latest boy-toy is a Colorado realtor with a striking resemblance to Joe Simpson. But I adore her, so I’m setting down my bat and walking away from the soft ball.
• Sean “Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Diddy” Combs has to ditch the “Diddy” in Britain after a music producer there sues him over the name.
• Dana Plato’s son files a wrongful death suit againt the Diff’rent Strokes star’s former fiance. Time to update that True Hollywood Story, E!
• Black Eyed Peas singer Stacy “Fergie” Ferguson reluctantly admits to being on meth and Kids Incorporated. I’m pretty sure I know which one is more damaging to her image.
  
• For those of you who were staying up nights wondering, Lindsay Lohan’s stolen-and-returned Birkin bag had nothing missing. Except, you know, probably the drugs.